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Thread: Question for people who've lost their parents

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    Default Question for people who've lost their parents

    My mom passed away a year and a half ago and yet I still sometimes have feelings that she should still be there. Especially when I go up and visit my dad, I half expect her to walk thru the door. Kind of weird and just wondering if this is a common feeling or not and does it go away after a period of years or other time frame.
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    Default Re: Question for people who've lost their parents

    geep hope it gets better for you.i never had that sensation with my mom.i got a tad bummed the other day though after looking at a few cd of he of her poetry she wrote and books she wrote. i never really read em before.most was published from what i hear.just recall ya mom is in a better place now
    LED's have gotten too bright in our stuff. Many nights I'm awakened by my modem lights blinking.had help with my sig thank you for your help.

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    Flashaholic Jeritall's Avatar
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    Default Re: Question for people who've lost their parents

    Quote Originally Posted by geepondy View Post
    My mom passed away a year and a half ago and yet I still sometimes have feelings that she should still be there. Especially when I go up and visit my dad, I half expect her to walk thru the door. Kind of weird and just wondering if this is a common feeling or not and does it go away after a period of years or other time frame.

    My Mom and Dad, both passed away many years ago. Thank goodness they are still "there". I still take advice from them!
    Jeritall

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    Default Re: Question for people who've lost their parents

    My dad died 14 months ago, and still I get hit hard. One never really gets over the death of a loved one, but does learn to cope as the years go by. . .Whenever I go to a restaurant and find it to be an excellent eatery, I'll blurt out to my friends that I'm going to take my dad here; of course, silence settles over us for the moment, and then I smile some, knowing one fine day. . .
    LUX'Ottica

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    *Flashaholic* LuxLuthor's Avatar
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    Default Re: Question for people who've lost their parents

    Quote Originally Posted by geepondy View Post
    My mom passed away a year and a half ago and yet I still sometimes have feelings that she should still be there. Especially when I go up and visit my dad, I half expect her to walk thru the door. Kind of weird and just wondering if this is a common feeling or not and does it go away after a period of years or other time frame.
    I think it depends on how close you were with someone who dies (including parents), as to how long it takes for those kinds of experiences you are describing diminish significantly. With some, like my father after 15+ years, it is still like that for me.

    Some people believe in spirits/ghosts of loved ones that remain for various reasons such as providing guidance. Some would say that experiences such as you are describing are not matters of your own imagination/interpretation.

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    Default Re: Question for people who've lost their parents

    I know that what I am feelin is nothing close. But about 4 years ago I lost my grandfather. I was really close to him and it hit me really hard. Whenever we referred to them we'd call them Mamie and Papa. We always catch ourselves saying Mamie and Papa and not just Mamie. I can say I've never really felt that. But I have referred to him as if he is still alive. Do you understand? I am deeply sorry for your loss and send my deepest consolences to you and your family. There are some things time can't heal I believe this is one of them.
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    Default Re: Question for people who've lost their parents

    My dad died on March 28, 2006. I'll probably remember that date forever. Although it's been nearly a year and a half, I still expect to see him watching the ballgame whenever I go into the basement. And I still have dreams where it's as if he never died. Strange because I've never had any belief in an afterlife. Maybe the dreams are just my mind's subconscious helping me to cope.

    There are many factors here that might make you feel a deceased person should still be there. How close you were is certainly important. To be truthful, I was as close with my dad as he was capable of being with anyone, but he was a distant, difficult to get along with person who pretty much kept to his hobbies. I think in my case the biggest factor is that he was simply there nearly my entire life. I've never lived on my own save the first three semesters of college, so when he passed I had spent over 42 years under the same roof. It was just simply part and parcel of my life that when I woke up, he was there, even if I seldom interacted with him. I suppose in many ways my expectations of seeing him upon going down into the basement are much the same as seeing an old, cherished piece of furniture. You don't really notice it's missing until it's gone.

    My father's passing in many ways was probably easier for my siblings. My sister has been married since 1993, on her own since 1989. My brother was on his own since 1995, although he lived six blocks away until three years ago, and often stopped by. Once a person is out of your life on a daily basis, it's somewhat easier to get used to them not being there. My father's mother died in 2002 but she had been living upstate for four or five years. Since I never had a chance to visit her after she left my uncle's house, it was as if she was for all intents and purposes dead already for a few years. I do miss her, but I wouldn't expect to see her if I visited my uncle's old house (he moved too). And she lived a decently long life (87 years, 4 months), which is another factor. I had expected to have my dad around at least another ten years. Although he wasn't in the best of health, neither was his mother at 71, yet she hung on quite a while longer. When he went I just felt as if a mistake was made, so maybe my expectations are based on my feelings that he shouldn't have died at the age he did. I was just reading today about Pavarotti. Same age as my dad when he went. I had the same thoughts on how he was taken before his time. Sadly, none of us can choose when we or our loved ones go. Some go too young, others are blessed with very long lives, but also at the same time cursed as they outlive everyone they ever cared about, sometimes even their children.

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    Flashaholic Valolammas's Avatar
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    Default Re: Question for people who've lost their parents

    Like Luthor said, it probably depends on how close you were. It will eventually diminish, but how long that takes will depend very much on yourself and how you adjust to it.

    My father died when I was 18. He had a sudden heart attack and was gone, just like that. We weren't there when it happened, we just got a call from the hospital, but he was already gone by the time we got there. Lots of people told us how horrible that must be, but I've always thought that it was actually a good thing: he didn't suffer long and we didn't have to spend days or weeks wondering whether he would survive or not.

    But that was almost 15 years ago, so now I'm well adjusted to him not being there. I still miss him sometimes (e.g. right now, writing this), and now that I have a son of my own, I sometimes feel bad that my father will never see him.


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    Default Re: Question for people who've lost their parents

    My dad died of cancer not six months ago.
    I had a weird relationship with him due to incompatibility of character and lifestyle, and I have many regrets that made the first weeks very bad, but I'm doing better now.

    I don't expect to see him walking through doors and all, as he wasn't very present in my life even when he was alive - due at least in part to my unwillingless to get closer to him, hence the regrets - but I do occasionally dream about him.

    It's weird because while my normal dreams very seldom make sense - they are usually psychedelic moments full of weird colours and shapes and with no discernible meaning whatsoever - all the dreams with my dad in them are clear and the sense is unmistakable.

    I'd like to think that it might be a way in which he somehow contacts me, but being a die hard atheist and materialist it's hard for me to believe in such things as souls, spirits, afterlife and whatnot.

    Rationally, it's probably just my own mind that would want him back and so makes up the dreams because it's the only way of feeling close to him.

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    Default Re: Question for people who've lost their parents

    Quote Originally Posted by geepondy View Post
    My mom passed away a year and a half ago and yet I still sometimes have feelings that she should still be there. Especially when I go up and visit my dad, I half expect her to walk thru the door. Kind of weird and just wondering if this is a common feeling or not and does it go away after a period of years or other time frame.
    Still happening with me - but it's only 5 weeks

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    Default Re: Question for people who've lost their parents

    I guess I have a completely different "view" of these things now. Work in a morgue for a few months and it does change you. However, I am probably more comfortable now with death than I've ever been. In my mind, I now know "why"... and several ghosts that I have been carrying around for alot of years (my dad died when I was 11 years old), are now very pleasant companions. So I offer the following from my own personal experience and beliefs.

    Quote Originally Posted by geepondy View Post
    My mom passed away a year and a half ago and yet I still sometimes have feelings that she should still be there.
    No... because she has finished her mission here. It was time for her to go. She has somewhere else that she needs to be now. If you consider it that way (which is how I truly believe it is), then you should feel that she is where she should be... in your heart.

    Especially when I go up and visit my dad, I half expect her to walk thru the door.
    Do you say hi to her? You should. Just a smile and a mental "Hi Mom!" My gramma died 12 years ago. I still wave "hello" to her when I drive past where she used to live and the cemetary where she rests now. I have my father-in-law's ashes in a china cabinet here in my house (I took care of him for months before he died (also 12 years ago) and was the one who found him when he died)... and occasionally, I will "feel" him ... so I just ask him when he's going to tell me if OJ really did it (inside joke), smile and move on.

    Kind of weird and just wondering if this is a common feeling or not and does it go away after a period of years or other time frame.
    I guess MY point is... why would you want the feeling to go away? It is comforting... or at least, it can be. I love having them around still... I love the memories... I love the feeling that they will always be with me. I love feeling like they can and will walk through the door any minute now and make me laugh, smile, cry, fustrated, irritated.... comforted.

    I paid $75 for a 6'x4' area rug for my living room... because the colors and pattern reminded me of a tapestry that my gramma used to have in her living room when I was a little girl. Trust me... there is no way in HELL I would ever pay that much for something for my dogs to lay on if it hadn't reminded me of her and made me feel good...

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    Default Re: Question for people who've lost their parents

    My dad passed away earlier this year. Last week I was walking past our living room phone and I actually reached towards it thinking I hadn't called him in a while...

    It's the first time my mind has "glitched" like that, but not a single day goes by without me thinking about him. There's too much of him living within me for me to feel he's totally gone. I don't expect the memories and the legacy of his love for fade from within me. Ever.

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    Default Re: Question for people who've lost their parents

    I lost my mom almost two years ago. Aside from freaking out and spending a few months totally lost, I still miss her. People like to say that it gets better with time, but I'm not so sure. I still have dreams where she is alive.

    I was close to my mom and I don't want to forget or lose those memories of her. At the same time, I need help with the grief I feel from those memories.

    I went to the Burning Man festival this year. This year the temple was a 'temple of forgiveness'. People brought pictures and stories to post on the temple, and participants were invited to write their own story on the temple with a sharpie. It was very cathartic to add my own tribute to the temple, and watching it burn with all the others was very moving. It was a great ritual to honor those that passed. It helped me a lot with my problem. If you can find a way to honor and cherish your memory of your parents, it makes their passing somewhat easier.

    Here's a video I recorded of the temple fire this year at Burning man.

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    Default Re: Question for people who've lost their parents

    I think we keep a phantom image of our departed just like one still 'feels' the presence of an amputated limb.. the person may be gone but the brain is still 'wired' to deal with their presence.. I expected to hear the jangling of my father's keys in the door at the time he woud usually come home for a year or two after he passed away..

    for months, when my first cat disappeared, I thought I could hear her meow when the wind blew...at first, I would go out at night looking for her in the bushes..

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    Default Re: Question for people who've lost their parents

    My parents are both departed. I've been an orphan since my mid-40s. Nobody would adopt me.

    Best advice I got is that when you accept life, you accept ALL of it.. the good and the bad. Losing parents is one of the most traumatic events any of us face. For me, it was 12 and 15 years ago, and over time I've found that I don't think of them as often as I used to. I do find myself wishing I could ask them some unanswered questions. Mostly, the thoughts are positive and happy. Occasionally I blame them for some of my shortcomings. IMO, My younger brother has not recovered from their loss. He still lives in their house, drives their cars, now almost falling apart. Named his son after our Dad. To me, all of that serves to pick at an old emotional wound, never letting it heal over.

    My advice: respect and celebrate your parents lives from time to time, while getting on with your own. Over time, the grief fades. Good luck.
    Last edited by fasteddie; 09-08-2007 at 11:45 AM.
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    Default Re: Question for people who've lost their parents

    I concurr with what the others have said. I lost my father 20+ years ago while I was in college and I never did get to sit down with him, man to man. His genetic imprint on me in both physical similarities as well as learned traits, I suppose, is so strong that he will always be a part of me and he set standards in behavior that still dictate I do better tomorrow than I have done today.

    My mother has been gone now about a year and a half. Due to poor health and dementia in the final years, we didn't make clear connections with each other prior to her passing. She was always in 100% full support of both my brother and myself and encouraged us to follow our dreams. She knew of my love for Maui and was in full support and accord that I would spend my full vacation every year visiting over here; even though it precluded my spending more time in visiting her in So. Cal. With her passing, my share of her estate allowed me to make a move to Maui and realize a dream I have harbored for close to 40 years. To date, not a single day has gone by that I haven't appreciated and consciously thought about how fortunate I am to have a shot at living out my life here in what I consider to be paradise. At the core of this fortune is her support, influence and being. Beyond the gift of life itself has been the gift of opportunity and support in the pursuit of a good life and one in sync with my dreams. I don't walk through rooms where she once stood but I walk under a beautiful sky that she made possible for me to see and enjoy.

    If I can use the weak analogy of my self being a grown and mature tree with roots and branches still allowing for growth and nourishment then surely my parents are in the very heart of my wood and it was due to their efforts and sacrifices that I was able to take root and grow as I have.

    In the physical sense, we loose our parents and this may be temporary or even permenant and prior to their death; certainly death breaks the physical connection. However in terms of the other senses and on what I consider more significant levels which are not bound by the laws of physics, we never loose our parents.

    This post is of no real significance to the rest of you but I want to thank geepondy for asking his question that I likely haven't answered. In taking the time to consider my response here, tears have flown freely and I would like to think my father and mother know that my appreciation for them is real and the gratitude there; even if I didn't show it when I could.

    For those of you whose parents have yet to depart this earth, consider the time you do have remaining and use it well. For some, I realize there may be gaps too wide to bridge yet there is still call for consideration, IMHO.
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    Default Re: Question for people who've lost their parents

    The only advice I can offer is to be thankful that you had parents that were worth crying over when they left. Not everyone is so fortunate.

    My sincere condolences to all.
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    Default Re: Question for people who've lost their parents

    I guess I'm lucky cause I still have my mother at least, my father was killed in a automobile accident when I was 5yrs old. I was close to him and after his death I became even closer to my mother and grandparents because I spent more time with my granparnets. My grandparents all are gone now and I still feel my grandfather's presence sometimes and my father's guiding me and watching over me. Its a comforting feeling and I hope I'll always have it around.
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    *Flashaholic* greenLED's Avatar
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    Default Re: Question for people who've lost their parents

    Those were beautiful words, Don. Thank you for sharing.

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    Default Re: Question for people who've lost their parents

    And, if you have not done it yet--pick a quiet place that has meaning for you and/or your Mom and just have a good breakdown, feel sad, cry, and say good-bye.

    Guys are told so many times never to show emotion, that we may forget that it is natural.

    I lost a close grandfather when I was a teenager and my Dad a few years ago... Once I did that--then I felt that they really have passed on and I won't expect to see them here again.

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    Default Re: Question for people who've lost their parents

    I lost my Mom to Breast Cancer back in '84, she was only 40 yrs old. It was a month before my High School Graduation, hard time. What I feel I lost out on, was getting to know her as a person........having a friendship. I still cry now and then.....I will always miss her.


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    Default Re: Question for people who've lost their parents

    Lost both my parents and father in law in the last 2 years. Since my time is flexible, I was the primary, and very willing, caregiver/gofer for Mom and FIL. Mom had a long bout with cancer, so I was with her to docs, chemo, etc a couple of times a week for 3 years.

    They were in their 80's and FIL was 92. We'd all been farmers and outdoorsmen, so we all knew and accepted the "Circle of Life". They were ready to go -- it was their time -- and we were as ready as possible to let them go.

    The big thing for me was not so much the grieving but the "hole" in my life. Even now, as I plan my week, I find myself reaching for the phone to ask what appointments do we have this week.

    We have, and continue, to celebrate their lives. They all did good.

    We've established scholarships in their names -- they will be known forever and their spirits will always touch the future.

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    Default Re: Question for people who've lost their parents

    I composed a post last night & then didn't post it. I'll just make it quick...many comforting words in this thread...THANKS to geepondy for starting it and to all those who have shared their thoughts & feelings.

    Lost my Dad in 1983, he was 53 years old. I still "feel" his presence & "hear" him in my mind. I feel I know what he would say in certain situations and know what advice he would give me. I know he loved me and I in return.

    He's only physically gone...He lives within me and my 2 sons in more than just a DNA/physical way! I hope I live as well, as much as my Dad lives in us, within my own sons when the time comes for my physical presence to end.
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    *Flashaholic* LuxLuthor's Avatar
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    Default Re: Question for people who've lost their parents

    It is truly amazing how this topic tapped into some experiences that are so personal, and that people have a chance to talk about their loved ones.

    I grew up Catholic, but grew away from its rote indoctrination (began to look like "Painting God By Numbers") to the point where I now pretty much only believe in some kind of "higher power," because I cannot explain the extraordinary and complex workings from a single atom to the limitless universe as random events.

    I had a friend come to me in a dream the exact 3:12 AM time he died in a tragic fall. He told me what happened, how & where it happened, and gave me a series of things to tell his family. It was the most vivid and accurate dream I have ever had (with none of the typical symbolism or distortion). The dream was of him coming into the actual room where I was sleeping, waking me up to talk, and upon leaving and closing the door....I actually did awake from the dream. I was relieved when I woke to find it a dream, looked at the clock, and my heart was pounding and I began to get terrified.

    Unable to sleep because of the dream, 10-15 minutes later, I heard the police knocking on the doors of our college fraternity to talk to someone about Matt's death (finding ID in his wallet). Someone else beat me to the door, and I just looked over and asked them if Matt had just died. All I would say is I just had a dream.

    They ruled his death a suicide, in part because he was very upset that his girlfriend dumped him, and the 5 story parking garage overlooked her sorority. Matt told me had happened was he did go up there to try and see her in a window, but because he had been drinking, he made a turn near the wall and his bike slipped in some dirt/gravel, and he hit the side wall and flipped over the edge and fell to his death. All the details of how his accident occurred were consistent with the actual events.

    To this day, I can close my eyes and recall every aspect of that dream and how Matt looked and what he said...right down to the crappy pictures/posters I had on the wall in my room.

    I was too freaked out to deliver the messages to his family, because the whole thing was beyond any rational explanation....and I never talked about it to anyone except a Catholic priest. Then 8 years later I had a 2nd dream much like the first, again asking me to talk to his family...which I did the next day.

    His mom had become an alcoholic, and was drinking all the time since she was informed of Matt's apparent suicide, and it had torn apart their family. I ended up speaking with each of the family on that call.

    When I checked back a year later, everyone wanted to talk to me and thank me for allowing their family to heal, and their mom to stop drinking which she did as of that call. None of us could explain why, or what it all meant in a larger context....except to say it was "really weird."

    There was nothing "religious" about my experiences of Matt appearing in my dreams, although I would describe his powerful, peaceful, loving demeaner and countenance as "Christ-like" or "Buddah-like." I didn't know him that well in my fraternity, as he was 2 years behind me, and I have no idea why he appeared to me. I have not had any other experiences like these two dreams, although I have had other supporting events/experiences that reinforce the reality of what happened with Matt.

    It has changed my direct experience of something persisting after people die. It has also eased my worry about those loved ones that have died, and my own fear of dying. For some reason, I kind of feel like I should post about it here....but have never put anything about it in writing before now.

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    Default Re: Question for people who've lost their parents

    LuxLuthor,
    Thanks for feeling secure enough in sharing that experience!! It doesn't need labeling or explaining but it certainly is comforting to consider!

    Those who may doubt the veracity of your story should consider such doubts. These doubts are thoughts and in the physical sense, just where do these thoughts come from? Do they have mass? Do they conform to the laws of physics? I realize that there is probably a neural explaination or description of how the brain "thinks" but that doesn't give us a hint as to where the thoughts originate, does it? A TV can process a radio signal and give us a full color movie to view. This process can be explained and understood by those who are schooled in the electronics but the process does not give us a clue as to the origin of the movie itself or its meaning. What's my point? I guess it's just that there is so much more to life and our participation in the big picture than we will likely ever fathom with our conscious thoughts and reasoning.

    Your friend came to you in a dream. Where did the dream come from? Where do ideas come from? Is it possible that those who have departed the physical world retain some form of identity or memory and dwell in the realm of ideas and thoughts? I think it is.
    Build Prices .... some mods and builds (not 4 sale) "Nature can be cruel- but we don't have to be."~ Temple Grandin

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    Default Re: Question for people who've lost their parents

    Lux, an applicable consideration is this philosophy: If you awaken with more information than was yours upon falling asleep, that is very significant, and can be quite personally validating.

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    Default Re: Question for people who've lost their parents

    geepondy,

    Your feelings are natural and good. She had a specifically place in your life and is now looking to make a new place in it. She just needs a little help.

    I've found that the best way to help my Dad have a place in my life is to find specific ways to honor him. These are physical things like remembering his favorite work boots with the hot rivet burned hole he wore in the snow and buying my own work style boots (walking in his footsteps) and non physical things like treating other people the way he treated others (allowing him to live through me).

    And every so often, asking myself if he would be proud of me and what I'm doing at that particular moment.
    Last edited by ElectronGuru; 09-09-2007 at 01:34 AM.

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    Default Re: Question for people who've lost their parents

    I Lost my dad a year ago last August. It was very difficult as he suffered long after a falling accident. What I find amazing is that you remember moments with them in every thing you see. Sorting through their belongings, after the fact, you realize just how many moments there were. The birthday cards they kept. The proudly saved pictures of your childhood. Your first report card. It makes you realize just how important you were to them as well. I'm taking care of my Mom who now has Alzheimer's, but we're managing. It is ok to cry. Remember that your parents were worth crying for and its important to express it. One thing that always got me through the grief was thinking of what my Dad would say if he were standing in front of me now. He would say....I had a good life....now its time to get on with yours....I'm OK now and I'll see you again someday. It makes me smile, after a tear or two because I know that is exactly what he would say.

    Take Care

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    Default Re: Question for people who've lost their parents

    Thanks for all the thoughtful and insightful comments. I do hope I didn't bum anybody out too much.
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    Default Re: Question for people who've lost their parents

    Quote Originally Posted by geepondy View Post
    Thanks for all the thoughtful and insightful comments. I do hope I didn't bum anybody out too much.
    Not really, just made me wish some folks were still around so I could show off my daughter to them.

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