The "Life's most important questions" thread...

[Monocrom]

~

Your first sentence asked about the latest, greatest lights ........

So ... NO ..... you're NOT cured !

~

And never will be because LED technology advances faster than computer technology. You blink, and the current Latest & Greatest has already been replaced.

[march.brown]

Why doesn't everyone have a sense of humour ?

I was out last night at a hotel and went to get drinks at the bar ... Next to me was a guy with a very sore-looking nostril ; all red and nasty.

He was explaining to the bar-persons that it had been very itchy and that he had "scratched the itch quite hard with his

finger-nail" , apparently causing the visible damage to his nostril.

He turned to me and , pretending that I hadn't been listening , I said to him "how did you get your sore nose ?"

He replied , demonstrating his action with his finger , "I picked it !"

Jokingly , I said "You didn't pick a very good one , did you !"

The bar staff all started laughing at this point.

He just shrugged and walked away.

Pretty soon the bar staff were telling others about the nose problem ... I still don't think the guy got the joke.
.

[march.brown]

Why doesn't everyone have a sense of humour ?


Someone must have a sense of humour 'cos this post came up twice !

[TooManyGizmos]

~

It's a real shame ...... that we don't have anything better to do !

~

[TooManyGizmos]

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It's a real shame ...... that we don't have anything better to do !

~

[Monocrom]

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It's a real shame ...... that we don't have anything better to do !

~

Could be worse . . . Nothing specific . . . Just honestly could be worse.

[TooManyGizmos]

~

Uhmm , if the Birds and the Bee's Do it ......

where are their strange looking *Off-springs*

What does the outcome Produce ?

~

( is that where Humming birds come from ?)

~

[Monocrom]

No . . . Not done cross-species. Just separately with their own kind.

[TooManyGizmos]

No . . . Not done cross-species. Just separately with their own kind.

~

How can you be so sure ?

I'm glad humming birds don't have huge stingers ......

and that they are not agressive .

~

[Monocrom]

~

How can you be so sure ?

A little birdie told me so.

[TooManyGizmos]

~

A Swinger Bee ..... told me otherwise !

~

[nbp]

Ever see a hummingbird moth? Google it. That thing is definitely the cross between the bird and the insect. I saw one outside and swore it was a hummingbird...nope. Looks and moves just like a dang bird.

[orbital]

Ever see a hummingbird moth? Google it. That thing is definitely the cross between the bird and the insect. I saw one outside and swore it was a hummingbird...nope. Looks and moves just like a dang bird.

+

Holy Silence of the Lambs their big,,think I 'v been hit in the face by one of those suckers riding a motorbike.

Just a matter of time they'll be deep fried at the local ________* restaurant


*

[HighlanderNorth]

Why is a foul pole in fair territory?


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

^^Why do some people find it important to inform us of what device they use to post on a forum and what system?


(Sent from Dell Desktop using Comcast internet service)LOL

[jcalvert]

^^Why do some people find it important to inform us of what device they use to post on a forum and what system?


(Sent from Dell Desktop using Comcast internet service)LOL

That information comes automatically from the device used to send the message.

[NonSenCe]

why do those olympic swimmers use double swimming caps?

my guesses: to keep the glasses on. (cant be that, as some still wear them on outside even if they have double caps)

so.. is it to ensure to keep hair out of the chlorinated pool water.. double cover?

or is one to keep hair dry and other to make their heads smooth as cueballs? ie making them more streamlined?

or is it just a fad or some kind of floating device?

[nbp]

That information comes automatically from the device used to send the message.

It can be removed by the user.

See the "Sent from my iWhatever" thread in the Cafe.

[HighlanderNorth]

why do those olympic swimmers use double swimming caps?

my guesses: to keep the glasses on. (cant be that, as some still wear them on outside even if they have double caps)

so.. is it to ensure to keep hair out of the chlorinated pool water.. double cover?

or is one to keep hair dry and other to make their heads smooth as cueballs? ie making them more streamlined?

or is it just a fad or some kind of floating device?

Its probably like when male bicyclists shave their legs to cut down on all that enormous, huge, overwhelming wind resistance caused by leg hair....

[jabe1]

why do those olympic swimmers use double swimming caps?

my guesses: to keep the glasses on. (cant be that, as some still wear them on outside even if they have double caps)

so.. is it to ensure to keep hair out of the chlorinated pool water.. double cover?

or is one to keep hair dry and other to make their heads smooth as cueballs? ie making them more streamlined?

or is it just a fad or some kind of floating device?

Yes, to keep the goggles on, and reduce resistance in the water.

[nbp]

Its probably like when male bicyclists shave their legs to cut down on all that enormous, huge, overwhelming wind resistance caused by leg hair....

It's not really very much for resistance actually. Hairlessness makes muscle massages after long rides significantly easier. Plus, road rash is almost inevitable if you ride a lot, and it's easier to wash and bandage your trashed knees without leg hair getting stuck to the adhesive.

[Monocrom]

That information comes automatically from the device used to send the message.

And that feature can be easily switched off.

[Hooked on Fenix]

Why does someone at the grocery store always ask me if I want my milk in a bag? I prefer it left in the jug.

Relativism: If there is no absolute truth, how can that be true?

Political Correctness: Why is it that telling someone that they are wrong when it's the truth is given less weight in the argument than the fact that they were offended by your comment? They must believe in relativism.

How long will gas prices be so high that minimum wage employees spend all of their money on gas commuting to work?

Which will occur first?: L.e.d. technology will reach the theoretical limit on efficiency or the vast supplies of energy reserves in the world (oil, coal, natural gas) will be depleted making l.e.d. lights more expensive to power than they are now.

How can I make money doing nothing at home without having to buy a book about it written by an author hoping for the same thing financed by the profits from the book?

[Chauncey Gardiner]

Political Correctness: Why is it that telling someone that they are wrong when it's the truth is given less weight in the argument than the fact that they were offended by your comment? They must believe in relativism.

I heard the following on the radio years ago.

~ Chance

"just because I offended you dosen't nessacerally mean I did something wrong."

Rabbi Daniel Lapin

[march.brown]

Ever see a hummingbird moth? Google it. That thing is definitely the cross between the bird and the insect. I saw one outside and swore it was a hummingbird...nope. Looks and moves just like a dang bird.

Many years ago as "A Troop" Troop Sergeant I was on a Queens Birthday Parade and as we were all standing to attention with fixed bayonets I could see in the distance a black dot coming rapidly towards me ... It was the biggest bumble-bee in the world ... It hit me right between the eyes , causing me to tilt back ... My Sergeant Major who was standing right behind me pulled me back and jumped into my place ... I moved up behind him and said "OK , let me back in" ... He said "Stay there for a minute to recover" ... I said "No , I'm OK , I just got hit between the eyes by a bumble-bee" ... He spluttered and let me back in ... I think half of the squadron could hear him choking back the laughter ... Afterwards , he took me to one side and took a good look at me ... I've never heard anyone laugh like that before as apparently I had a red mark right in the middle of my forehead ... For ages afterwards on morning parades when troop sergeants were called forward to report , he would look at me and laugh ... Even when the red mark had gone ... I would not have thought that a bumble-bee could hit that hard ... I shudder to think what would have happened if it was an inch to the left or the right.
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[Chauncey Gardiner]

A bumble-bee?!

[NonSenCe]

What was the first sign you are going crazy?

seeing things that are not real?

believing or thinking that those things are real?

or was it:

hearing voices inside your head?

listening to their advice?

arguing with them?

talking to yourself.. ie talking with/to the voices, out loud?

arguing with the voices so strongly that you get mad and shout at them while freaking others out?

or starting to fight physically with yourself because the voices pissed you off?

**********yes, i saw part of "fight club" movie today******


i personally believe the fine line is crossed when you start to shout at yourself or want to punch yourself for real. talking is fine. arguing is ok still. but the loud and physical is the threshold.

[Monocrom]

Nope. The voices in my head keep me entertained. Some of them are actually very good singers. A handful of female voices started their own Alternative band. Their signature song is "Electric Joe." Not much in the way of lyrics. But it has a catchy beat.

One of the voices told me not to post this, as it might make me look crazy. But what the heck, on CPF I'm considered normal. So it's okay.

[HighlanderNorth]

Why does someone at the grocery store always ask me if I want my milk in a bag? I prefer it left in the jug.

Relativism: If there is no absolute truth, how can that be true?

Political Correctness: Why is it that telling someone that they are wrong when it's the truth is given less weight in the argument than the fact that they were offended by your comment? They must believe in relativism.

How long will gas prices be so high that minimum wage employees spend all of their money on gas commuting to work?

Which will occur first?: L.e.d. technology will reach the theoretical limit on efficiency or the vast supplies of energy reserves in the world (oil, coal, natural gas) will be depleted making l.e.d. lights more expensive to power than they are now.

How can I make money doing nothing at home without having to buy a book about it written by an author hoping for the same thing financed by the profits from the book?

Nine times out of ten, political correctness is nothing more than a tactic used by the claimant to get out of dealing with a topic he/she doesnt want to deal with...... When you bring up a fact that a person doesnt want to deal with, or they dont want the truth to get out, they will try to to shut you up by playing the "it's not politically correct" card. This is often used by many on one side of the political spectrum(wont say which side, you can guess) whenever race issues come up, and you want to talk about policies that actually hurt the very race that these people claim to care about, they will shut down the conversation using political correctness as the excuse.

Political correctness is a barrier that usually needs to be broken for everyone's benefit!

[HighlanderNorth]

I just thought of a question that is probably on the minds of fans of the 'other' 29 NFL teams: "Why MUST the Philadelphia Eagles be the team that wins the Superbowl at the end of the 2012 season?"

As an Eagles fan, I can certainly feel your frustration, especially since you must know that there is no chance that your team can beat them......

Sorry, but I dont have an answer, as some things in life just cant be stopped..........Its just destiny I guess.

[StarHalo]

What was the first sign you are going crazy?

Talk to your doctor if you experience mild hallucinations..