Ten Commandments - Computer Related

This is some good information, it's a little dated but the basic principal is still valid today. Hopefully you find it both useful and humorous. The author of the below text and links is known as Seerialmom. She gave me permission to reproduce this stuff on my webpage several years ago. She leaves it up on hers, because to this day it still gets it's fair share of hits ....... enjoy.

In the beginning there was mainframe; and it was good.

On the second day Lord Jobs and Lord Wozniak gathered up the fruits of their humble abode and created Apple; the masses rejoiced at their new freedom.

On the third day the Almighty Bill created Microsoft; this caused the people to turn their backs on the Apple for they know not what they do.

On the last day, the Ten Commandments were created in an attempt to redeem the souls of those peoples.

Here then, are those Ten Commandments:

Ten Commandments for Computer Ownership

Ten Commandments for Calling Technical Support

Ten Commandments of Technical Support

Read those, they're all true.

Just yesterday I had to (Not at work, I support Pee Cee at work) help somebody who had just purchased a PowerBook, but didn't run Software Update or anything so their machine wasn't working nearly as well as it should have been. Fortunately they've only had the 'book about 3 days and so we're starting over -- on the right foot.

At work, well, those 10 commandments are great! If you can call in with the *exact* error message you're getting, and what you are clicking right before it happens, your call will go about 3x faster. Sure we might hear the same errors all day long, but I'd much rather hear "After I click dial it says 691" than "It's not connecting!"

As for techs, well I try to follow *our* 10 commandments as well, and it is the only way to go. Don't get pissed at people's stupidity, laugh at it (On mute, of course) and help them fix their (computer) problems.

There are a few exceptions to the rules though. Don't call me all pissed off that you haven't had internet access for 4 months when this is the first time you've bothered to call in 4 months. Don't call me asking for help when you don't want to follow directions, etc. etc.

I do tech support as part of my job and of course help my family and friends too. My own dad is probably the single most difficult person who calls me for help. It's absolutely comical. He never does as I ask and never tells me what he's actually seeing on his screen. I just get these "Oh" and "What the...", "See, it did it again" I have no idea what he's referring to and then he won't slow down so we can fix it quicker. Drives me nuts. Usually it takes at least 10 minutes of quietly listening to him poke around on his own before he realizes I haven't said a word then he starts to listen. I often just end up having to drive up to his place on a weekend to see what's really happening and fix it. I have no other client like him.

A former head of the CIA was probably my best client. He always described what he saw, did exactly what I asked, and had very reasonable suggestions of his own but he didn't act on them until we'd both reasoned it through. And he didn't give a damn about security because he knew what sort of thing needed to be secure in this world, which sure didn't include the lecture notes or emails on his computer.

My view on support is that the clients who call me know a hell of a lot about a bunch of things I know nothing about and in return they're paying me to help them with something they don't know. So be it. I'm a very lucky person to be asked to do what I love and get paid to do it. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif