My condolences, raggie. I wish I had something to say to make you feel better but any words on my part would be pointless. Loss of one close to you is something that every person must deal with on their own and in their own way. Take comfort in the fact that her suffering is over.
Same happened to my granddad earlier this year just before I joined CPF. We are grateful that he is no longer suffering and that he went peacefully in his hospital bed - which is as much as any of us could have asked for.
You and your family are in my thoughts, Raggie. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grouphug.gif
Your mom and your family have been given a gift - she is no longer suffering in terrible pain. Eventually the grief will recede and you'll be able to see this. You'll also be able to see what a good man you are for being with her during her last moments on earth. Nothing will ever change that.