Favorite quotes

[gadget_lover]

You can't fool me! Shoot's just sh*t with two 'o's. - George Carlin on the subject of profanity

You appreciate more what you've earned by the sweat of your brow. - my Grand-dad

I have one slice of cherry pie left. Want it sweetie? - my Grand-ma

Well, a lot's happpened in the last 30 years. - My mother after realizing that she could not remember where I was born almost 50 years before.

"No, your other left." - John Nichols, square dance instructor.

Daniel

[PhotonWrangler]

forgot one

Badges? We don't need no steeenking badges! – Gold Hat in The Treasure of the Sierra Madre (var)

It was used again in Mel Brooks Blazing Saddles.

[PhotonWrangler]

No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.

Elanor Roosevelt

[PJ]

It's not knowing how to turn the screw it's knowing which screw to turn.
-- From a sign in a garage.

We mean well, but do ill; and we justify our ill-doing by our well-meaning.
-- Emerson

[LifeNRA]

When I was a land Surveyor my favorite saying was:

"I don't know where I'm going but I'm on my way"

[newo]

"Cogit ergo spud" (I think, therefore I yam) - Popeye.

"There you go again!" Ronald Reagan, as uttered to Jimmy Carter during a debate prior to the 1980 election.

"The most powerful force on earth is compound interest." Attributed to Albert Einstein in any number of places, but not conclusively proven. Still, even if he didn't say this, he should have.

"And a woman is only a woman. But a good cigar is a smoke." Rudyard Kipling, from "The Betrothed".

"It was a woman that drove me to drink. It's a pity I never had a chance to thank her." W.C. Fields.

"Candy's dandy, but liquor's quicker." Ogden Nash.

[PhotonWrangler]

Gadget_Lover got the first half:

"No good deed goes unpunished, (and the beatings will continue until morale improves!)" (Words to (unfortunately) live by! )

(Negative enough for you Empath? )

Larry

Humor, like the blues, comes from suffering. Some of the most humorless people I've known have been those who have led a charmed life, had everything they've ever wished for, and had relatively few worries or crises.

Otoh, some of the funniest people I've known have been those who've had a tough time in life and/or work in stressful jobs.

Humor is a release. Look at the dark humor that is so common in emergency medicine and police work, two extremely stressful occupations. It helps one to re-establish one's equilibrium and keep a sense of perspective when the world is seemingly crumbling around them.

Humor serves a purpose. Even dark humor has a cathartic and healing aspect to it.

[thesurefire]

Honestly, most of my favorite things I have ever heard come from RedVsBlue. Here are a few of my absolute favorites

"Get ready to open fire! Today is a great day to Die!" -- Sarge; RedVsBlue

"Sarge, we need to get Grif airlifted out of here!"
"Could you put that in a memo, and entitle sh!t I already know?!!" -- Sarge; RvB

"Doctors actually fix people, medics just make them feel better while they die." -- Doc; RvB

This list could go on for a Long Long time.

Cameron

TUCKER DID IT!!!!

[gadget_lover]

Seen above the urinals in an early 1960's coffee house, the Catalyst:

We aim to please. Won't you aim too, please?



Seen in the same place 30 years later;

Please don't throw cigarette butts in the urinals. It makes them soggy and hard to light. Thanks, the janitorial crew.

[avusblue]

Yogi Berra: "When you get to a fork in the road -- Take it!!"




Other good Yogi-ism's:

"Nobody eats there anymore, it's just too crowded!"

"It's tough to make predictions, especially about the future."

"If people don't want to come out to the ballpark, how are you going to stop them?"

"Always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't go to yours."

Reporter: "What would you do if you found a million dollars?" Yogi: "If the guy was poor, I'd give it back."

"You can observe a lot just by watching."

"I never said most of the things I said."

[PhotonWrangler]

Y'know, if Yogi Berra and Steven Wright got together, the results could be cosmic!

[flashfan]

Authors unknown:

I was put on this Earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I'm so far behind, I'll never die.

A friend who ceases to be, never was.

[KC2IXE]

You are what you do when it counts - The Masso - from the book Armour

Time's fun when your having flies - unknown frog

Wisdom is knowing what to do next,
skill is knowing how to do it,
and virtue is doing it. - David Starr Jordan

[Former_Mag_User]

"If something is worth doing, do it well."

"Time will not wait for you."

My sigline isn't too bad either.
"Opinions are like @$$holes, everybody has one."

[Bravo25]

"A big mouth don't make a big man."
"Being bossy don't make you a boss"

[jhereg]

My favorite quote is in my tagline, but I'm not the only person here to use it. If you haven't clicked on the link, here are some of the major points.

ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ!

Two little words. With these two words, two concepts were verbalized that have lived for nearly two and a half Millennia. They signify and characterize both the heart of the Warrior, and the indomitable spirit of mankind.
(snip)

Molon Labe! (mo-lone lah-veh)

They mean, “Come and get them!” They live on today as the most notable quote in military history. And so began the classic example of courage and valor in its dismissal of overwhelming superiority of numbers, wherein the heart and spirit of brave men overcame insuperable odds.

We have adopted this defiant utterance as a battle cry in our war against oppression because it says so clearly and simply towards those who would take our arms.

It signifies our determination to not strike the first blow, but also to not stand mute and allow our loved ones, and all that we believe in and stand for, to be trampled by men who would deprive us of our God-given – or natural, if you will – rights to suit their own ends.

[KevinL]

"Do, or do not. There is no 'try.'" - Jedi Master Yoda

We had a good variation on this one.

"Do, or do not.. you're still gonna get screwed either way!!"

[RadarGreg]

"Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad". -unknown

"I'm pretty sure I can do it. I saw it in a movie once". -me

"You go first; I'll provide covering fire". -me

"Here we go again; it's the damn Americans bumbling in to save the French from the Germans". -me

I can't believe no one has quoted from "Forest Gump". That movie is a running series of quotes. Thanks to all for their posts. There are some thought provoking ones as well as ones to give you a smile.

[McGizmo]

The weather is here, I wish your were beautiful. ~ unknown

[B@rt]

"Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get." Forrest Gump

"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not!" Unknown

[sniper]

"Kissing girls is a goodness!"...Valentine Smith; Robert Heinlein, Stranger in a Strange Land

"Remember, Your only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct tape. If it doesn't move, and should, use the WD-40: If it moves and shouldn't, use the duct tape. ... Steve Yampolsky

"The darkest part of the night is just before it starts to rain"... Anonymous

"Save all the pieces!... Phil Brown.

Life was never meant to be a smooth progression from the cradle to the grave. We should arrive at graveside in a 4 wheel slide, chickens scattering, tires smoking, saying: "WOW, what a ride!"... Anonymous

"If you go through life expecting the worst, you usually get it."... Bill Little and my wife

"Holy Cow, Look at all them ( ) indians!"...Attributed to General George Armstrong Custer just before the battle of Greasy Grass. (The Little Big Horn)

"When I fly, the plane gets nervous!"...Mike Atwater

What's the worst thing that can happen? O.K, what's the second worst?...me

"There is no such thing as the wrong way to enjoy a hobby!"...Bill Groman

[dukeleto]

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.
Groucho Marx

[LifeNRA]

2 from John Wayne:

"I wont be wronged, I won't be insulted, and I won't be laid a hand on. I don't do these things to other people and I expect the same from them." - The Shootist

"Tomorrow is the most imprtant thing in life. It comes into us at midnight very clean. It's perfect when it arrives and it pus itself in our hands. It hopes we've learned something from yesterday."

And a few from Ronald Reagan:

"Honey, I forgot to duck." - to Nancy after getting shot

"Recession is when your neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours. And recovery is when Jimmy Carter loses his."

"The governments view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it."

"The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,'I'm from the government and I'm here to help."

"Abortion is advocated only by persons who have themselves been born."

"Don't be afraid to see what you see."

"How do you tell a communist? Well it's someone who reads Marx and Lenin. And how do you tell an anti-communist? It's someone who understands Marx and Lenin."

"Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first."

[Kiessling]

Maybe the term favourite means a quote that has some wisdom in it ... that is able to express so much with so little words ... so that we need to admire it for its beauty, even if we do not let the content touch our soul.

Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder.

bernhard

EDIT: this was supposed to be a reply to Empath's post way above this one ... as I forgot there were additonal pages in the thread and replied in the middle of it

[Kiessling]

Humor, like the blues, comes from suffering. Some of the most humorless people I've known have been those who have led a charmed life, had everything they've ever wished for, and had relatively few worries or crises.

Otoh, some of the funniest people I've known have been those who've had a tough time in life and/or work in stressful jobs.

Humor is a release. Look at the dark humor that is so common in emergency medicine and police work, two extremely stressful occupations. It helps one to re-establish one's equilibrium and keep a sense of perspective when the world is seemingly crumbling around them.

Humor serves a purpose. Even dark humor has a cathartic and healing aspect to it.

This is a very wise post.


Another urinal wisdom:

"Come closer, he is shorter than you think."

bernie

[GJW]

I do what the voices in my wife's head tell me to do. -- saw that one on a T-shirt.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it. -- W.C. Fields

Don't ask questions you really don't want to know the answer to. -- I uses it a lot but I likely stole it from someone.

Plus my sig line which is Groucho Marx.

[PhotonWrangler]

This is a very wise post.


Another urinal wisdom:

"Come closer, he is shorter than you think."

bernie

I had to think about that one for a minute!

[Fat_Tony]

"They're the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked!!" - Homer Simpson

"You couldn't fool your own mother on the foolinest day of your life, if you had an electrified foolin' machine!!" - Homer Simpson

"They say you become more philosophical in your autumn years." - Fat Tony (Not me, but my namesake).

[Nitroz]

"This an AB conversation, C your way out of it!"
"I'm gonna kick your butt into next week"
"Money is like a sixth sense without which you cannot make a complete use of the other five." -- William Somerset Maugham

[offroadcmpr]

"there are 10 kinds or people on this earth, ones who understand the binary system, and those who don't"

"What's the mona lisa?" -my friends 15 year old sister

"When life thows you a curve, downshift." - my friend Eric