<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by yzingerr:
Nothing Nothing Nothing Nothing Nothing (repeated numerous times)<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Very nice.
Now I feel like flushing light bulbs down the toilet.
In fact, since this isn't an official "Light Bulb, Flashlight or LED" forum, I'll do just that. Following is a list of ways you can dispose of one or more expended incandescent or fluorescent lamps. (This post could also serve to prove the forums accept larger sized messages too).
1: Place one or more light bulbs in a paper bag and stomp on them.
2: Place light bulb in an empty coffee can, place lid on can, and shake the devil out of it until you hear it explode
inside.
3: Flush them down the toilet. (This works fine with Christmas bulbs of C-9 size or smaller)
If you're lucky, you may hear them explode deep inside the pipes.
4: Feed them to a pissed-off alligator, crocodile, or caiman.
5: Set them on the road and allow vehicles to drive over them.
6: (For exposed outdoor fixtures) Allow light bulb to burn for an hour or more, then throw a Dixie cup full of ice
water onto it.
7: Wrap light bulb with long, thin foil or metallized Mylar streamers, being sure to enclose the majority of the bulb
with the metal and leave several feet of streamers free. Toss into high voltage power lines. The light & sound
show will be awesome, and that light bulb will never bother you again.
NOTE: Causes between 3,000 and 50,000 homes and business to black out, will knock radio & television
stations off the air, and will probably get you in a heap of trouble!)
8: Scatter light bulbs across the lawn and then run over them with your power lawnmower.
9: Fill a mailbox with light bulbs, add an M-80 (or larger) firecracker, light it, close the lid, and RUN LIKE HELL.
10: Place a light bulb in a standard workbench vise, and tighten it.
11: Shoot them out with a semiautomatic BB pistol or pellet gun.
12: Replace the baseballs in an automatic pitching machine with light bulbs. Allow hitters to swing at them. Use
a concrete backstop.
13: Connect lower wattage bulbs (25 watts or under) directly to the secondary windings of a standard furnace
ignition transformer.
14: Mount an outboard boat motor on the edge of a metal garbage can, then fill with water. Start & throttle up the
motor, and add a generous supply of light bulbs to the water.
15: Scatter light bulbs in your flowerbeds, then try to till them in with a DR. or Mantis motorized garden tiller.
Most of them should break quite readily
16: Fashion a "Polish cannon" out of pop cans, and use it to fire light bulbs - rather than the traditional tennis
balls. Fire than at any convenient hard surface.
17: Tee up! Substitute light bulbs for golf balls on that 495 -yard par 5 hole. Videotape the golf players in action,
paying particular attention to how they address the light bulb, and how square their clubface is at impact.
Instruct players it's OK to take as many mulligans as they wish, and that it's also OK to strike the light bulb with
the club's hosel, thus shanking it.
18: Fire light bulbs up in the classroom kiln during pottery class. Remove them when ready, and throw them in
the toilet bowl or into a sink full of cold water.
19: Pop them with a ball-peen hammer.
20: Tape as many light bulbs as you can to the side of a refrigerator; then push the refrigerator over onto that
side.
21: Run them through the dishwasher as long as necessary until they explode.
22: Screw light bulbs into $5 Salvation Army lamps, plug the lamps in, turn them on, and swing them around
wildly until they hit something solid.
23: Fill a toilet tank with light bulbs, and drop it from a cliff or shove it out an upper-floor window of a tall building.
24: Fill a bathtub to the rim with light bulbs, then start lobbing bowling balls into it.
25: Replace the football at a game with a big streetlight bulb. Set up the field goal team, and let er rip.
26: Remove the front protective grid from a large fan and start lobbing light bulbs at it. Ensure they aren't filled
with dog ****.
27: Place several light bulbs in a paper bag, set it on somebody's porch at night, light it on fire, ring the doorbell,
and run off.
The victim should take care of them for you.
28: Gingerly set them on railroad tracks, like what you used to do with pennies. Wait for the next train.
29: Replace bowling pins at the local alley with big light bulbs glued to pedestals, so they stand upright. Let
people bowl normally.
30: Fill a Mixmaster or Hobart blender with light bulbs, attach the mixing blades, then turn blender on. Scrape
the sides of the bowl as necessary.
31: Soak light bulbs overnight in liquid nitrogen. Remove them, screw them in, and quickly turn them on.
32: Send a few cases of them on the next space flight. Launch them back towards earth with a spring
mechanism, see what happens when they eventually burn up in the atmosphere.
33: Use a rat trap to pop a few just for kicks.
34: Substitute the bags of balloons hanging from the ceiling at a new year's eve party; watch what the drunken
partiers do to them when it strikes midnight and you cut the bag open.
35: Install them in the centers of bullseyes for archery practise. Be sure they're burning when your archery
friends start shooting arrows at them.
36: Fill a pinata with light bulbs and send the whole mess to a really rowdy party. Be sure the partygoers swing
at it with metal sticks, not wooden ones.
37: Line up a dozen or so porcelain or Bakelite light sockets, wire them up, put bulbs in them, and start beating
the crap out of the whole thing with a baseball bat.
(Hint: do NOT use a metal bat - always a wooden one)
38: See how far away you can get and still be able to break them by throwing marbles at them.
39: Microwave them. Always place a cup of water in with the bulb(s) to prevent the magnetron from overheating.
40: Wrap a pack of ladyfingers around a large bulb. Place on a hard surface. Light fuse and get away.
41: Saw the legs off a couch. Carefully replace them with light bulbs, then let the children jump up & down on it.
42: Balance them on the rim of a toilet bowl, then viciously slam the seat down.
43: Fill up suitcases with light bulbs, and run it through the suitcase-destroying satanic motorized robot death
machine (the baggage carousel) at the Denver Airport.
44: Load an old washingmachine full of light bulbs, and push it off the side of a mountain.
45: Bake them at 450 degrees for an hour, then toss ice cubes on them.
46: Stuff a tuba full of light bulbs, and give it to a 6th grade band class. (the music teacher won't be impressed)
47: Cover the floor with light bulbs, and have somebody in one of those 600lb motorized wheelchairs drive
through.
48: Use them to line the cat box. Attach lead weights to the cat's feet first. (Not recommended, please no hate
mail from cat lovers)
49: Send a box of used 100 watt Sylvania bulbs to the CEA, and let Cathie get her hands on them.
50: Take two 8-foot fluorescent light bulbs, and stage a swordfight with them.
Note: When done on a very cold dry winter night, they will light up bright blue at impact!
51: Fill an old battleship with hundreds of thousands of light bulbs. Provide plenty of microphones & cameras.
Tow over the Marianas Trench, and torpedo it. Those bulbs which survived the bombing will be crushed by the
water pressure as the ship goes down.
52: Feed them to Barney the Dinosaur; allow older children to beat the creature with a tire iron.
53: Turn light bulbs on, and then "flick" them with your forefinger. Most will brighten dramatically, then blow out
with a pop!
54: Throw them at the TV screen whenever a "Doctor" Laura commercial comes on.
55: Put the buttonholing shoe on a sewing machine and try to sew a button onto a light bulb.
56: Go to some building that has a night janitor. Every day, put light bulbs in the wall urinator. Eventually the
janitor will tire of picking them out of the urinator and just break the damn things into flushable-sized pieces with
a mop handle.
57: Get a BIG light bulb and spray paint it black with hi-temp engine paint. Screw it in someplace and just leave
it. The next time somebody uses it, the bulb will explode all by itself after ten or fifteen minutes.
58: Tape them to telephone poles and phone booths in L.A.'s gang district.
59: Glue light bulbs to a bowling ball, and drop the bowling ball off the Juneau-Douglas bridge.
60: Hire a frogman to fasten them to the propellors of all the ships tied up in Elliot Bay or Gastineau Channel.
Then, just sit back and wait.
61: Purchase a monkey wrench, then go to a light bulb factory and throw the wrench into the bulb-blowing
machine.
62: Drill tiny holes in light bulbs with a dentist's drill, and replace them in the sockets. The light bulbs will destroy
themselves the next time somebody uses them.
63: Beat the piss out of a light bulb with a toilet brush.
64: While recording a new outgoing message in your answering machine, drop the machine onto the bulb
before finishing the recording.
65: Replace the clay piegons at a shotgun range with light bulbs.
66: Change a light bulb's quantum resonance signature, and toss it into the nearest black hole.
67: Fill a light bulb with butane and toss it in the fireplace.
68: Rub light bulbs in hamburger blood, and drop them into a fishtank full of pirahnas.
69: Shove light bulbs up Barney the Dinosaur's bunghole, then push the creature over the back of a chair.
70: Roll a few cases of light bulbs into Times Square at 11:59pm on any January 31st.
71: Fill a black Cadillac with light bulbs and send photographers on motorcycles after it.
72: Fill a box with light bulbs, mark "Fragile, Handle With Care" and give the box to your friendly postman.
73: Stuff baby food jars with flashlight bulbs and roll them down any steep Seattle or San Francisco hill.
74: Design, build, and operate "The TVA Light Bulb Destructor" as a science fair project.
75: Fill Goodyear tyres with light bulbs, then recall them all.
76: Fill a Ford Explorer with light bulbs, and outfit the vehicle with the recalled tires.
77: Find a building that's about to be imploded (the Kingdome will do in a pinch). Fill it with light bulbs the night
before the big blast.
78: Offer light bulbs as handouts at a Yankees vs. Braves game in Yankee Stadium. Do it when John Rocker is
pitching. It may go over even better than "John Rocker Battery Night", so be sure to have the Yankees hire extra
groundscrew for that game.
79: Fill a hot water heater with light bulbs. Ensure the incoming water line is COLD.
80: Scatter light bulbs at an atomic weapons test site. Go back later and see how many of them melted.
81: Tip over a pinball machine. Be sure you place a case of light bulbs at the machine's side to cushion its fall.
82: Load up the back of a garbage truck with light bulbs, locate that handle with the black knob on it, and pull it
towards you.
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