Cree Q5 Karma

LEDBE
Dobbler

Dobbler

Enlightened
Joined
Feb 12, 2007
Messages
503
I bought some Cree Q5 stars from DX and I've decided not to use them. I modified one light and I don't feel like doing any more. I have two unopened I am giving away.

To win this Karma you must:

1. EDIT: Open to all membership levels
2. live in the USA (so I can send them first class mail)
3. post a flashlight-related joke in this thread (must be funny TO ME) :)
4. send me a PM with your mailing address IF you are one of the two winners.

Contest will be solely judged by me, myself, and I. Winner will be announced 48 hours from this post.

:wave:
 
Last edited:
Dobbler said:
To win this Karma you must:

1. be a true Flashaholic (must have that many posts)
2. live in the USA (so I can send them first class mail)
3. post a flashlight-related joke in this thread (must be funny TO ME) :)
4. send me a PM with your mailing address IF you are one of the two winners.
Click to expand...

1. covered
2. covered
3. A man and a woman started having sex in the middle of a dark forest. After 15 minutes of this, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight". The women says, "So do I, you've been eating grass for the past 10 minutes."
4. I'll send the PM when you tell me I'm a winner. :)
 
Nake said:
3. A man and a woman started having sex in the middle of a dark forest. After 15 minutes of this, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight". The women says, "So do I, you've been eating grass for the past 10 minutes."
4. I'll send the PM when you tell me I'm a winner. :)
Click to expand...


AWESOME! LOL. This made my day.
 
There was a Mississippi redneck and a Louisiana Cajun, fishing on their respective sides of the Mississippi river.

Just as soon as the redneck put his line in the water, he slung a fish onto the bank, and the Cajun was catching nothing, so he yelled across to the redneck, "Buddy, I'd sure like to be on your side of the river!"

"Aight, tell ya whut, I'll shine my flashlight 'cross this river, and you can walk across this little beam of light!" the redneck yelled back.

The Cajun replied, "Hain't no way, buddy. I know you think I'm a fool! When I get halfway 'cross, you'll turn your flashlight off!"
 
1. Got it
2. Got it
3. A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables, and when he picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying, "Jesus is watching you."

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off and froze. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head, promised himself a vacation after the next big score, then clicked the light on and began searching for more valuables.

Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard, "Jesus is watching you."

Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot...

"Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you."

The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who are you?"

"Moses," replied the bird.

"Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?"

"The same kind of people that would name a Rottweiler, Jesus."

4. I will send a PM if I win.
 
Not a flashaholic, but true story, kina funny.

At the movies last week some people in the row in front of me were talking all through the movie. I asked them to quiet down. The kid turned around and gave me some lip. I shined my L1 in his eyes and told him if he turned around again I would give him stage two and then asked again if he could be quiet. He turned back around and mumbled something to his friend. Then turned around again and said what is stage two. I then gave him the whole burst out of my L1. He turned around blinded and I told him if he made another sound I would hive him stage three, and stage three had a small amount of light and a large bang. He said, is that you jeff? and I said yes rick, now shut up and watch the movie.
 
INFI said:
Not a flashaholic, but true story, kina funny.

At the movies last week some people in the row in front of me were talking all through the movie. I asked them to quiet down. The kid turned around and gave me some lip. I shined my L1 in his eyes and told him if he turned around again I would give him stage two and then asked again if he could be quiet. He turned back around and mumbled something to his friend. Then turned around again and said what is stage two. I then gave him the whole burst out of my L1. He turned around blinded and I told him if he made another sound I would hive him stage three, and stage three had a small amount of light and a large bang. He said, is that you jeff? and I said yes rick, now shut up and watch the movie.
Click to expand...

Get some more posts in to get up to the Flashaholic status!
 
Here's one:

Two guys were riding through Texas when they got pulled over by the state patrol. So the two guys Slide on their seat belt and watch the officer get out of the car. The officer walks over to the driver's wind and tapped on it with his flashlight. When the driver rolls down the window he says, "Hello offi..." and the officer hits him across the face with his flashlight.

The driver then goes, "Ow, what the hell was that for" rubbing his face The officer reply was, "In Texas, boy, you s'posed to have ya' license and registration redeh when I come to the winda'." "I'm sorry, I didn't know." The officer writes the guy a ticket and gives it to him. When the driver received his ticket and was about to roll up his window the officer hit him again. "Ow," the guy screams, "what the hell was that one for?" "In Texas, when we give ya a ticket. Ya s'pposed to say thank ya'." So the guy quickly tells the officer thank you and rolls up his window.

The officer then walks around to the passenger side and taps on his window. The passenger rolls down his window and the officer hits him over the head with the flashlight. The passenger then yells, "Ow what was that for?"

The officer says, "I was just making yur wish come true."

"Wish, what wish?"

"I know down tha road, ya gonna say to ya buddy 'I wish that son of a b*tch would of tried that sh*t with me."


And since this one has a Texan theme how about a redneck joke?:

You know you're a redneck:
If going to the bathroom in the middle of the night involves putting on shoes and a jacket and grabbing a flashlight.
 
A Montana cowboy, a Texas oilman and an Alaskan oil worker were sitting around the fire, discussing whose light was the toughest, meanest way of making light in the back-coutry. A six pack of fine beer was the prize.

The Montana guy lit up the whole campsite with his Surefire L4, and said, "THAT boys, is a Surefire witha Lux V and the best wall-of light available in a handheld light....damn near indestructable, too."
THe Texansaid, "poop, son, that ain't nothing. THis here is the SUrefire BEAST, it's a couple pounds of HID fury, and blows that little pea-shooter to bits." He lit her up, blinding everyone, flashed the beam of the side of a nearby mountain, and then threw it 50 feet in the air, bounced off the rocks, and was still lit as good as new. He was so sure of victory, that he reached for the beer, when suddenly it got a little brightr again in the campsite.
The Alaskan said nothing, and stood quietly, stirring the coals of the fire with his *****.
 
Dobbler:

Are you willing to expand your criteria on number 1? I consider myself a flashaholic and your definition is causing me to question my emotional and psychological foundations. Without this external validation I might have to revert to my old neurosis revolving around collecting cabbage patch dolls and beanie babies.

Please reconsider!

In support of my petition I offer the following:

1. I have only been actively involved in this obsession a short time, and have only recently developed the confidence (which may be now completely crushed) to start sharing my experiences with others, thus the small number of posts.

2. Six months ago I had 20 or 30 flashlights, now I have more than 80.

3. Of those flashlights, I have modified more than 30, in addition to another dozen or so I have done for friends.

4. My mods range from swapping emitters, to building my own boost circuits, to quad emitter mags, to using brass plumbing parts to make my own drop-in modules.

5. I use a spreadsheet to track my flashlights and the mods done to them. (perhaps this should be the joke portion of your requirements)

6. And the piece de resistance (or whatever), .......I have even wound my own inductors!

So, Dobbler, I respectfully, and only slightly hysterically, petition you to consider my petion to be considered worthy to be considered!

And to everyone else, please feel free to chime in with your support.

Thanks, Alan
 
I'll give this a shot,

1. Yep, got that

2. Yes, 40-50 minutes away from Boston

3.

Two good friends decided to go for a midnight hike. One ran to his truck and brought out his newly bought 7D Maglite while the other got out his P3D-CE and AE Xenide.

While walking around in the woods, they talked about their lights and had a few comparisons(the Xenide won). When they were done and tried to walk out with their lights off to see what it would be like. Suddenly, one of the friends heard a scream. He ran towards th sound and found his friend limp on the ground under a small cliff. He immediately called for paramedics.

Paramedic: How many I help you?

Friend: I think my friend is dead.

Paramedic: Well, first make sure he's dead,

Then the paramedic hears someone walking then a loud CRACK.

Friend: Yes, now what?

4. You decide.
 
Ok, I have 1 and 2 covered, so here goes number 3:

A truck driver picks up a hitchhiker. After riding several miles in silence, the hitchhiker sees something move behind his head. He spins around to see a monkey staring at him from a small seat. After he recovers from the scare, he asks the truck driver why he has a monkey. The truck driver says "watch this". He reaches under his seat, and pulls out a 6-D Maglite. He flashes the monkey in the eyes, and when the monkey blinks, hits him in the head with the end of the flashlight. The monkey falls out of his seat unconscoius. After a few minutes, the monkey wakes up, crawls over to the truck driver, and gives him some pleasure. The hitchhiker just stares in amazement. Afterward, the monkey crawls back to his seat. "Pretty amazing, huh?" says the truck driver. The hitchhiker just nods the affirmative, still amazed. The truck driver holds out the Maglite, and asks the hitchhiker, "Would you like to try it"? The hitchhiker replies, "Sure, just don't hit me as hard as you hit the monkey".

Number 4?
 
hp84117 said:
Dobbler:

Are you willing to expand your criteria on number 1? I consider myself a flashaholic and your definition is causing me to question my emotional and psychological foundations. Without this external validation I might have to revert to my old neurosis revolving around collecting cabbage patch dolls and beanie babies.

Please reconsider!

In support of my petition I offer the following:

1. I have only been actively involved in this obsession a short time, and have only recently developed the confidence (which may be now completely crushed) to start sharing my experiences with others, thus the small number of posts.

2. Six months ago I had 20 or 30 flashlights, now I have more than 80.

3. Of those flashlights, I have modified more than 30, in addition to another dozen or so I have done for friends.

4. My mods range from swapping emitters, to building my own boost circuits, to quad emitter mags, to using brass plumbing parts to make my own drop-in modules.

5. I use a spreadsheet to track my flashlights and the mods done to them. (perhaps this should be the joke portion of your requirements)

6. And the piece de resistance (or whatever), .......I have even wound my own inductors!

So, Dobbler, I respectfully, and only slightly hysterically, petition you to consider my petion to be considered worthy to be considered!

And to everyone else, please feel free to chime in with your support.

Thanks, Alan
Click to expand...


But that wasn't funny............................ :whistle:
 
ROFLMFAO! That made my day!

Nake said:
1. covered
2. covered
3. A man and a woman started having sex in the middle of a dark forest. After 15 minutes of this, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight". The women says, "So do I, you've been eating grass for the past 10 minutes."
4. I'll send the PM when you tell me I'm a winner. :)
Click to expand...
 
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