If you have a wife this is a must read!

jtivat

Flashlight Enthusiast
Joined
Jun 14, 2002
Messages
2,375
Location
Grand Rapids
-Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity, such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

Thanks,

A Troubled User. (KEEP READING)

______________________________________

REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once Iinstalled!

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.

However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support
 

Beamhead

Flashlight Enthusiast
Joined
Jul 6, 2004
Messages
4,233
Location
gone "Squatchin" :p
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/crackup.gif


oops..... I got to go...... Girlfreind 7.0 just met Wife 1.0 ...I will soon be 187! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/icon15.gif
 

Beamhead

Flashlight Enthusiast
Joined
Jul 6, 2004
Messages
4,233
Location
gone "Squatchin" :p
[ QUOTE ]
Beamhead said:
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/crackup.gif


oops..... I got to go...... Girlfreind 7.0 just met Wife 1.0 ...I will soon be 187! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/icon15.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

Whew... /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/mpr.gif... that was close......Luckily I had Adulterer Firewall 6.9 installed! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/naughty.gif
 

Finbar

Newly Enlightened
Joined
Dec 15, 2004
Messages
191
Must be a Win-tel /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/crackup.gif

The Mac allows Wife 1.0 to be uninstalled. Simply drag the icon to tha trash. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ohgeez.gif

There is a fix between Girlfriend 7.0 and Wife 1.0. It is Stripper 3.2 Beta.

There are many enhancements in Stripper 3.2 Beta:
* Adds remote scrips that will not allow Wife 1.0 to be installed.
* Adds remote scripts that WILL allow Girlfriend X.0 to be installed.
* Stripper 3.2 Beta runs in background and has an invisible folder.

Improvements since Stripper 3.1 Beta:
* Removed Stripper 3.0 Beta - Ex-husband with Desert Eagle Point 5-0
* Removed Ex-husband with Jealous and Violent Temper 6.8.
* Removed easy access to program All Your Credit Cards 2.1.
* Removed access to program All Your Checking Account Balance 3.2.
* Removed program Can I Borrow Your Car - Ex-Husband Took an Ax to Mine 4.1.
* Removed program Yeah Sure, Call me at 3 A.M. Automatic Update 1.1
* Removed Spyware Ex-Husband with Desert Eagle Point 5-0 and Is He Outside My Window at 4 A.M.
* Removed program Stripper 2.0 Beta Can I Come Over at 4 A.M.?
* Added program Don't Forget to Buy More Jack Daniels for Frayed Nerbs 1.0

WARNING! Stripper 3.2 Beta is a difficult program to master and impossible to attain 100% consumer satisfaction. We strongly reccommend either Girlfriend 7.0 or Wife 1.0. Even though these programs leave much to be desired - there will be moments of repast. Cherish them. Stripper 3.2 is a Beta program. While we have code warriors working around the clock to improve this product, it seems that inroads to success are yet to be attained. Therefore, we strongly suggest that every other life enhancing software be considered before purchasing Stripper 3.2 Beta. There are some nice programs from Andora that will provide more satisfaction. Oooooh, so much more. Did we mention not purchasing Stripper 3.2 Beta? If, after not heeding all our warnings - me suggest the program Bullet Proof Vest 9.0. And, Yes, May I Please Purchase a Train Ticket...Anywhere - At 4:30 A.M. 1.0.

Stripper 3.2 Beta may be uninstalled with great difficulty, but the nightmares are...pricless.

President of SoFtWaRe ThAt WiLL cHaNgE yOuR LiFe ForEvEr & CeO

Fin
 

jayflash

Flashlight Enthusiast
Joined
Oct 4, 2003
Messages
3,909
Location
Two Rivers, Wisconsin
Superbo, jtivat & Finbar. My (internal) organs received a workout while and after reading both of your posts. If you don't mind, I'd like to forward these to a couple, geek, friends.
 

Xrunner

Flashlight Enthusiast
CPF Supporter
Joined
Aug 21, 2002
Messages
1,607
Location
Colorado
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/crackup.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/thumbsup.gif

-Mike
 

jtivat

Flashlight Enthusiast
Joined
Jun 14, 2002
Messages
2,375
Location
Grand Rapids
I sent this to my wife while I was on a show out of town. Her response was “If you think this is funny wait until you get home and see what happened to Flashlight 10.0"! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/ooo.gif
 

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