Murphy's Laws; the Flashaholic edition....

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i figure it'd be fun to make up some Murphy's laws in regards to flashlights/flashaholism...

here's some starters, feel free to add more;

the chances of a power outage occuring is inversely proportional to the number of lights you have, if you have a lot of lights, you will rarely get an outage, if you have few lights, you will get lots of outages

the duration of said power outage is also equally inversely proportional to how much/many batteries you have, and their charge status, lots of fresh batteries, short duration outage, not many batteries, or dead/dying batteries, long duration outage

the chances of your incandescent light suffering a burnout is inversely proportional to the number of backup incan lights/bulbs you have; lots of backups, minimal chance of failure, no spares, the incan will burn out as soon as you turn it on

the chances of your light(s) suffering a catastrophic failure is also inversely proportional to the number/types of backups you have, lots of backups; reliable primary lights, no backups, fails just when you need it

if you have a non-battery powered backup lighting system (shake/cranklights or oil lamps) you'll never need to use them

any other additions?
 
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You'll always grab the wrong spares carrier for a long camping trip.

Your friends will always drop your most expensive light.

Someone will always need a light when all your loaners are gone.
 
The probability of people poking fun at your expensive light collection is directly inversely proportional to how many times they've really need a good light.
 
The object you want to see will always be 10 feet farther than the throw of the light you have with you.
 
The light you need the most during your camping trip, exc, exc, will be the one you left at home. Your batteries will fail when you need them the most.
 
It's better to have lots of lights when you only need one rather than needing one when you don't have any.

If at 30,000 feet you feel that your Surefire switch has rotated to the ON position in your luggage, it's probably ON and your luggage is about to spontaneously combust.
 
If your butt is warm and you know your car doesn't have seat warmers, your plastic lensed Surefire just turned it self on and now has melted a hole in it
 
The cost of your pocket-sized flashlight is directly proportional to the probability of your dog swallowing it.

As soon as you buy that shelf trophy, they'll stop making parts for it.

Your dog wants lithiums.
 
The more expensive the light, the higher the fall to the concrete floor.
The longer you wait for a light to be delivered, the more disappionted you will be with the performance.(defective switch/part)
You wait so long for the price to drop on the hot light you've really been wanting that they quit making/selling them.
You finally find the light at the "right" price, but the shipping doubles the cost.
You finally find the light including shipping at the right price and you have no PP funds.
You languish selling off a small basket full of lights on BST to raise PP funds for a new light and someone else beats you out by one post.
You stay up all night doing runtime tests and beamshots to find out three other people already posted before you.
You finally quit lurking and make a post but no one else reads or posts on the thread.
You finally figure out what some of the acronyms stand for (YMMV) and realize how many lights you could have avoided buying.
You thought you'd save a little money by leaving the knife and gun forums and join a "simple" flashlight forum.
Just when you thought your wife couldn't get any more mad, the delivery system shows up with the most expensive light ever made.
 
- you pack all your cool tactical lights for a road trip the next day - so you wouldnt forget any of them - when you hear a noise downstairs in the middle of the night and the only light you left on your night table is a mini mag...!

- you try to impress your new girlfriend with your newly arrived E1e but she then pulls out a U2 and explains her ex b/f got her into flashlights and her favorite from his collection is the "Beast"...
 
You arm yourself with the best lights you've ever had in your life, but the urban flat you move to has so much ambient light, you don't need them. :ohgeez:
 
MacTech said:
the chances of your incandescent light suffering a burnout is inversely proportional to the number of backup incan lights/bulbs you have; lots of backups, minimal chance of failure, no spares, the incan will burn out as soon as you turn it on
Click to expand...

Hmm my first incan burnt the day i got it ><
 
GarageBoy said:
If your butt is warm and you know your car doesn't have seat warmers, your plastic lensed Surefire just turned it self on and now has melted a hole in it
Click to expand...

I have a round quarter sized hole seared in my seat from my 9P in my back pocket.. I smelled it long before I felt it.
 
The bright light at the end of the tunnel is not a flashlight, but the headlights of an oncoming train.:devil:

No matter how long and hard you shop for an flashlight, after you have bought it, it will be on sale somewhere cheaper.

Anything you try to fix will take longer and cost more than you thought.
 
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CQB said:
- you try to impress your new girlfriend with your newly arrived E1e but she then pulls out a U2 and explains her ex b/f got her into flashlights and her favorite from his collection is the "Beast"...
Click to expand...
:lolsign: :crackup: :crackup: :hairpull:
 
The brightest light you grab to scare off an intruder or animal will have those fresh mega-batteries inserted backwards. <click, click, click!>
:huh2:

You finally get a handle on your flashaholism, and newer, better, brighter ones come out.

You stock up on expensive CR123's for your QIII, and Surefires, only to switch to the Fenix L1P & L2P with AA's.
 
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