This stuff happens every day, to a huge portion of the population...and it always hell for those who make up the group.
The advice one gets is always easier to give than to act upon as that requires time to internalize the feelings and emotions, etc.
I've been married to the same chick for ~ 35 years, right after her HS graduation.
I have a LOT of friends, male and female, who dumped/got dumped by their spouses and had to pick up the pieces and move on.
The ones who are the most successful at it were not always the ones who acted like it didn't matter, or tried to pretend they were "OK", etc...its the ones who wallowed in it, adjusted to it, and moved on out of it.
There's issues to deal with...and the sooner you do, the better...but, doing it right, once, is best, even if its a slower process than you'd like.
The other one is the kid(s) involved. Kids are freaked out by all of this, and, how it reflects on their sense of self worth, etc...IE: If mom and dad love each other, or at least did when they made them, they are better off.
Bad mouthing the spouse, exposing the kid to the cruel politics of a divorce, tears them up....and both sides always seem to end up with a propaganda campaign designed to justify their actions and vilify the other's. (Because we want our kids to love us and not blame us...and if the OTHER side is casting blame, well, its viewed as defensive to then show how the OTHER side was to blame, and off it goes)
The problem is is that all uses the KID as the battle ground, and, it hurts them....depending on their age and level of savvy in these matters, they may not need the propaganda, they lived it before the divorce happened, or, they are just frightened and confused and care more about being safe than who's to blame. Typically, they don't CARE who's fault it is...they loved you before, and they still love you, even if they see you as having made a mistake...just like you don't stop loving your kid if they hurt you by betraying your trust, etc.
And
Once you get your credit in your own name, and she's OFF your credit, you can buy anything you want that you feel you can afford w/o having to "see if its ok".
You can have pizza and beer in bed while watching football, go fishing whenever you feel like it, meet your buddies, etc, and no one can ***** about it. You are free. Lord almighty, you are free.
