Should your sex partner know if you have AIDS?

jtr1962

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I remember reading once that there is no such thing as "safe sex" even though a good segment of our society seems to think wearing a condom will solve everything. This was long before the days of AIDS but it's even more applicable now than it was when I first read it. Nowadays, even something seemingly as innocent as a kiss can lead to suffering and death. Sure, it requires a lot more discipline to not remain sexually active but in the end constantly worrying about what your last partner may or may not have had isn't worth the few minutes of pleasure. Sex also adds a dimension of complication to many otherwise good relationships. The only way you're never going to get anything is to never have had sex outside of a monogamous relationship with the same person, and they will have had to do likewise. That scenario probably holds true for about 0.01% of couples nowadays.

Sadly, the one thing that will really work here, which is teaching more self discipline, is the one thing which is out of style. The trend nowadays seems to be "if it feels good, do it", and to hell with whatever problems it causes others. Maybe instead of drugs like Viagra to increase the sex drive we should be giving things which do the opposite. Most people unfortunately lack the long-term ability to control their urges so getting rid of the urges might end up being a solution of last resort. All the sexually explicit themes in the general media and advertising aren't helping matters any, either. People will get enough ideas on their own without any encouragement. Sometimes I think it's a big conspiracy where the mass media is paid to encourage behavoir (smoking, drinking, sex, driving) which results in more business for the medical establishment.
 

eebowler

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chmsam said:
That means a lot of people willingly trust others who lie to them or would otherwise say anything, with their health and well being.
I'm almost 29 years now. I've had only two relationships in my life within the last three years. Other than that, I've been perfectly celibate. The second relationship was an example of the above quote.

Previously, I've alwayse believed that if someone suffering from AIDS or has the HIV virus in their system has sex without informing their partner of the situation, that equates to attempted murder if not murder. I consider it a crime because in my little world, honesty is everything and willingly endangering the life of another human being without them knowing it is totally unacceptable in my book. I still believe it now. (but then, I think adultery is also a crime)

That said, there is at the moment, no sure way to prove that someone is actually aware that they have HIV/AIDS. Anyone brought up on charges can easily say that they didn't know. Proof can only be obtained if proper and permanent medical records are kept and made available to the relavant authorities. In time legislation may make this possible.

I agree with the opinion that with enough precaution infection by any dissease can be prevented. Honesty, time, trust, patients......
 
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James S

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Proof can only be obtained if proper and permanent medical records are kept and made available to the relavant authorities. In time legislation may make this possible.

Sorry, no new legislation is going to make that possible. If you HAVE a regular doctor and you go to them for the test then there will be a record of it in your medical records with that doctor. Those records can be gotten by a court order no problem now without any new legislation. Problem is that most people now days dont have a single doc who is their primary care doctor. They go to a clinic or take an anonymous test where they are identified by nothing more than an ID number that was stamped on the test kit they used. No way to back trace it to an individual person.

As far as the rest, I feel like this thread is getting a very fatalistic tone. I dont think nearly that many young people are nearly as sexual active as reading this thread would lead them to believe. I know I wasn't that bad (it wasn't for lack of trying though...) i'm sure that there are places where it's very bad, but overall the whole country people dont all behave the same way.

But I can only base that on what I see here and what I experienced in my own life so far.
 

gadget_lover

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James S said:
I dont think nearly that many young people are nearly as sexual active as reading this thread would lead them to believe. I know I wasn't that bad (it wasn't for lack of trying though...) i'm sure that there are places where it's very bad, but overall the whole country people dont all behave the same way.

But I can only base that on what I see here and what I experienced in my own life so far.

Im not sure what your impression of the sexual activity of young folks (based on this thread) is, but there are sources available on the net that will tell you. The scary part (to me) is that so many young folks are not counting anything except conventional intercourse as sex. Not all young folks are thinking that, of course, but the problem is that if you exclude all the other sexual activities from the definition you also (mentally) exclude the precautions.

Unfortunately, we can't assume the rest of the population is just like us. As I have gone though life I have seen a swing from very prudish to very permissive and back several times. I found that as I moved from place to place the values changed too, even only 100 miles apart.

The phrase "Not for lack of trying" probably applies to most young people at some time.

A few things I have found to be constants; Adolescents are driven by hormones and not by logic. They will justify anything they need to in order to meet their needs. They also will NOT honestly answer the question "Are you a virgin".

Reminds me of my favorite study. 1000 college students were asked if they had sex with other students on canpus. 75% of the guys said yes, but only 10% of the gals. On the surface, those 50 gals were reallll busy. In reality, the study was somwhow flawed.

Personally, I feel that the amount of sex among young folks is more or less similar to what it was 150 years ago. The difference was that they'd get married at 13, 14 , 15.... whenever their parents thought it was appropriate or when one was pregnant. The biggest difference is that pregnancy is currently preventable.

Daniel
 

chmsam

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Yep, this is a topic I get on a soapbox about, but other than a little more creativity, not a whole lot has changed over many years. Consider that while some of us may not have been that "active" when we were younger, there has been a lot of sexual activity for many, many years. The fifties and early sixties weren't all that reserved. I remember my parents (but not them, uh-uh, as they tried to convince us. Yeah, right) recounting what others did as far back as in the thirties. The only thing that's fairly new is the variety and danger of new diseases and the new strains of old ones. There is still too much of the "it can't happen to us" attitude.

We had neighbors who tried to convince themselves that their home-schooled, strictly watched children could never do such things, since they wouldn't let them know about sex. Therefore, in their eyes, their children could not possibly become sexually active. Little did they know -- quite literally. If you don't educate and/or become educated about sexually transmitted diseases and at least the basics of sex education, you are very likely in for a rude awakening.

The best way I have heard this summed up is that there are two types of pregnancy. The first you hear about and say, "Oh, that's wonderful!" The second you say, "Ya know, they really do know what causes that now."

But for a lot of people, and not just children, there is the concept of invincibility and unfailing luck ("Couldn't possibly happen to us"). Unfortunately, that means that they are not likely to become aware that they are infected, would deny it even to themselves anyway, and would never be able or willing to inform their partners.

But really, it's very simple to combat these diseases. If there's even the slightest possiblity of being exposed, get tested. If positive, you must tell (all) your partner(s). Ignorance and denial are the easiest methods of how these diseases are spread.
 
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