there are some Jokes

[Hooked on Fenix]

View attachment 65090

Had a funny experience on a job site once. Boss had me hammering in grading nails near a haul away dumpster. When I hammered one in, gas streamed out of the ground. I jumped three feet up in the air and freaked out because I thought I hit a gas line. Boss was standing by laughing his a$$ off. It turns out, someone had completely buried a full butane canister by the dumpster and I drove a nail right into it.

 

[PhotonWrangler]

Not a joke per se, but this has to be one of the silliest auto accidents in recent memory. No injuries, but this vehicle was involved in an accident on Chicago highways the other day. Maybe the driver was driving like a hot dog.

 

[raggie33]

Not a joke per se, but this has to be one of the silliest auto accidents in recent memory. No injuries, but this vehicle was involved in an accident on Chicago highways the other day. Maybe the driver was driving like a hot dog.

View attachment 65164

reminds me of my ex

 

[Monocrom]

Not a joke per se, but this has to be one of the silliest auto accidents in recent memory. No injuries, but this vehicle was involved in an accident on Chicago highways the other day. Maybe the driver was driving like a hot dog.

View attachment 65164

More like, driving like a Wiener.

 

[PhotonWrangler]

More like, driving like a Wiener.

Clearly their driving didn't cut the mustard and left them in a pickle. I don't relish the consequences.

 

[Hooked on Fenix]

Couldn't they crash an ice cream truck instead? Nobody wants to see a wiener float. Hope that truck stays away from parades.

 

[Monocrom]

Clearly their driving didn't cut the mustard and left them in a pickle. I don't relish the consequences.

One thing for sure.... It'll be awhile before any ladies jump on that wiener.

 

[jz6342]

 

[bykfixer]

 

[Monocrom]

View attachment 65214

Same.

 

[TPA]

Two gentlemen arrived at the Pearly Gates. One a pastor, one a politician. St Peter said "gentlemen, nice to see you". He says "we have a fine place for each of you ready to go, just follow me".

There's a variation of this with the latter being a pilot. The pilot gets the mansion and desirable things.

The pastor protests this, but St. Peter responds that while the pastor had done good work for the Kingdom, that airline pilot made thousands of people actually pray out loud during his career.

 

[PhotonWrangler]

 

[bykfixer]

 

[Hooked on Fenix]

View attachment 65215

Can't tell if that's one of the poisonous varieties or not, but I'd go with Death Caps or anything from the Amanita group.

 

[Chauncey Gardener]

 

[Dave_H]

Hats off to PhotonWrangler for his jokes which are short (and easy to remember), always witty/clever and funny, and can be told just about anywhere to anyone to get a laugh or at least a smile!

Dave

 

[PhotonWrangler]

Hats off to PhotonWrangler for his jokes which are short (and easy to remember), always witty/clever and funny, and can be told just about anywhere to anyone to get a laugh or at least a smile!

Dave

Aww thank you Dave. I try to keep them lighthearted and G-rated.

I enjoy everyone's contributions in this thread.

 

[Monocrom]

If it's funny, you can bump it up to PG.

 

[TPA]

A father and his son are fishing and spending quality time on the lake.

The young boy sees an airplane flying in the sky and says, "Dad, when I grow up, I want to be a pilot!"

The father looks down, with a bit of sadness and replies, "I'm sorry son, you can't do both."

As a pilot, I'll fully confirm this is true. I find myself regressing every year too.

 

[PhotonWrangler]

If it's funny, you can bump it up to PG.

Noted.