there are some Jokes
- Thread starter qcgoods2006
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Chauncey Gardener
Flashaholic
Chauncey Gardener
Flashaholic
Less Nessman - Unsung hero.
PhotonWrangler
Flashaholic
What smells the best on Thanksgiving?
Your nose.
Your nose.
PhotonWrangler
Flashaholic
AMD64Brunette
Newly Enlightened
Why didn't Emma go to South America for the summer?
She heard it was Chile.
She heard it was Chile.
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible. - George Burns
Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain
By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx
The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness and kindness, can be trained to do most things. - Jilly Cooper
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat. - Alex Levine
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. - Mark Twain
Money can't buy you happiness... but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. - Spike Milligan
Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. - Herbert Henry Asquith
I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it' s time for my nap. - Bob Hope
We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. - Will Rogers
Don't worry about avoiding temptation... as you grow older, it will avoid you. - Winston Churchill
Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty, but everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out. - Phyllis Diller
The cardiologist's diet: If it tastes good, spit it out. - Unknown
By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere. - Billy Crystal
Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain
By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx
The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness and kindness, can be trained to do most things. - Jilly Cooper
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat. - Alex Levine
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. - Mark Twain
Money can't buy you happiness... but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. - Spike Milligan
Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. - Herbert Henry Asquith
I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it' s time for my nap. - Bob Hope
We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. - Will Rogers
Don't worry about avoiding temptation... as you grow older, it will avoid you. - Winston Churchill
Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty, but everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out. - Phyllis Diller
The cardiologist's diet: If it tastes good, spit it out. - Unknown
By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere. - Billy Crystal
Hooked on Fenix
Flashlight Enthusiast
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2007
- Messages
- 3,706
That last one reminds me of a T-shirt design contest we had at the Martial Arts school I worked at. My sister drew a picture like that one starting with an ape, leading up to a caveman with a club, then the last one in line was me in uniform holding up a Samurai sword. Luckily, her picture did not win the contest. I didn't want my students walking around with that picture on their shirts.
PhotonWrangler
Flashaholic
Chauncey Gardener
Flashaholic
bluflaam777
Enlightened
I miss that era of SNL. The real funnies. When sex was expected, and drugs were illegal...or vice versa ...or wuh or ...something
PhotonWrangler
Flashaholic
You know you're a bad driver when Siri says "In 500 feet, stop and let me out!"
