there are some Jokes

[SCEMan]

'What's a Scotsman have under his kilt on a good day?
Lipstick!'

-From a Craig Ferguson Netflix special

 

[Chauncey Gardener]

Dial it back about 20%, Big Shooter.

 

[PhotonWrangler]

Welcome to 2025! You go first.

 

[Monocrom]

We're right behind you. No worries.

 

[Chauncey Gardener]

We're right behind you. No worries.

Nope! Me and mine are hunkering down.

 

[Monocrom]

Not me. Me and mine are hunkering down.

So you decided to build that bomb shelter I suggested awhile back.

 

[Chauncey Gardener]

So you decided to build that bomb shelter I suggested awhile back.

Stage one: The outer perimeter fence is seven feet tall and constructed with commercial-grade/gauge webbing, well within the shelter's range.

 

[Monocrom]

You're going to need some barbed wire for the top of that fence.

 

[Chauncey Gardener]

You're going to need some barbed wire for the top of that fence.

It's designed to keep honest people honest and the not-so-determined at bay. That's about the extent of its usefulness. Nevertheless, being seven feet tall with sharp webbing at the top all the while being shot at while attempting to climb it is still a deterrent.

 

[Monocrom]

Put someone you can trust on guard duty.

 

[Chauncey Gardener]

 

[Chauncey Gardener]

 

[Chauncey Gardener]

 

[ghostguy6]

 

[ghostguy6]

 

[Monocrom]

Yup, I pretend to like people everyday in real life too.... On the Internet, you guys get the real me. Yes, I realize the irony in that statement.

 

[PhotonWrangler]

I think the jokes are gonna write themselves on this one.

 

[Hooked on Fenix]

I think the jokes are gonna write themselves on this one.

View attachment 72789

Cop calling dispatch: "I've got a guy on the side of the road that got his Weiner stuck in the snow. Request a tow truck to help him pull it out."

 

[Chauncey Gardener]

I wish I were an Oscar Mayer Weiner
That is what I truly wish to be
cause if I were a Oscar Mayer Weiner
everyone would be in love
oh everyone would be in love
everyone would be in love with me

 

[bluflaam777]

My girlfriend and I went out to a restaurant last night, and some of the other diners started calling me a 'pedo' and a 'cradle snatcher.' All because I'm a 59-year-old man with a 21-year-old girlfriend.

It totally ruined our 10 year anniversary meal.