there are some Jokes

bykfixer

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One night an elephant and an ant made love.
Next morning the ant wakes to find the elephant dead.
"dawg gonnit" the ant says. "One night of passion and now I have to spend the rest of my life digging a grave".

Frank Furillo on Hill Street Blues season 1.
 

bykfixer

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These two old baseball players Harry and Lou made a pact to communicate with each other in the afterlife. Harry passed away. One night he woke up Lou during the night. Lou says "Harry is that you?" Harry says "yup". Lou says "do they play baseball in Heaven?" Harry says "why yes. I've got good news and bad news, the good news is we play baseball everyday, the bad news is you're pitching tomorrow night".

Frank Furillo on Hill Street Blues season 2.
 

PhotonWrangler

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Monocrom

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Lawyer find themselves in a Lifeboat after the cruise ship they were on; sunk. A shark comes swimming along, intentionally tips the Lifeboat over. Then proceeds to devour two of the men. But he leaves the Lawyer completely untouched, before swimming away. The reason?.... Professional Courtesy.
 

Hooked on Fenix

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A Catholic Priest, a Rabbi, and a lawyer walk into a bar. The lawyer walks away drunk with a girl on his arm. The Catholic Priest walks away carrying a bottle of wine for Communion. The Rabbi walks away holding the lump on his head saying, “I should’ve ducked.”
 

PhotonWrangler

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A priest, a lawyer and an engineer are about to be guillotined.

The priest puts his head on the block, the rope is pulled but nothing happens. He claims he has been saved by divine intervention and is released.
The lawyer puts his head on the block, but again, nothing happens, he claims he can't be executed twice for the same crime and is set free.
The engineer places his head under the guillotine. He looks up at the release mechanism and says:
'Wait a minute, I see your problem...'
 

knucklegary

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A priest, a lawyer and a young boy were in a airplane that was about to crash, yet they only had 2 parashutes.
The lawyer proclaimed he was the smartest man on the plane, that he deserved to survive. He took one of the shutes and jumped..
The preist looks at the young boy, reflecting back on his life, told the boy to take the last chute since he had already lived a wonderful and full life..
The boy replied: "You can have the other shute because the smartest man on the plane just jumped out with my book bag"
 

bykfixer

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Doh!!



One day God visited Adam in the garden of Eden. He said "how's it going Adam?" Adam says "well I'm lonely, how about a companion?"
Next day Eve shows up.
A couple of days later God popped back in and asked Adam "wutcha think?" Adam says "oh man I have some questions if you don't mind". God says "fire away".
Adam says "why did you make her so curvey?" God said "so you'd like her".
"Why is her hair so soft and smooth?"
"So you'd like her".
"Why does she smell so good?"
"So you'd like her".
"Why is she not too bright?"
"So she'd like you"
Buh-dum shpeeeee
 
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Poppy

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So a Priest, a Rabbii, and an Atheist decide to go fishing.

The three of them row out in a little boat, and once out there, they realize that they left their poles on the beach, and the priest said... "No problem, I'll go get them." and he jumps overboard, and walks to the beach and comes back with the poles, hooks, lines and sinkers.

The Atheist is astonished; did he just walk on the water?

On no... now they realize that they have no bait, so the Rabbi said, "no problem, I'll go to shore and dig up some worms, I'll be right back." He too, just walks across the water, and comes back with worms from the shore.

Of course the Atheist can't believe his eyes, but... incredible!!!

Now it is lunch time, and they realize that they left the cooler on the beach. The priest looks at the Rabbi, and together they look at the Atheist. The Atheist thinks if these two can walk on walter, so can I! So he jumps overboard, and just about drowns! He though manages to swim to shore, and work his way back with the cooler full of sandwiches, and sacrificial wine. On his way back, the Rabbi says to the Priest - " Should we tell him where the rocks are?"
 

Poppy

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I heard a similar joke.
It seems that there is often a multiple of variations of good jokes. They are particularly funny when the punch line is unexpected. Unfortunately for me, when I was in High School we had a two period chemistry lab class once a week; my little group typically was able to complete the experiment during the first period, and then went to the cafeteria for ice cream sandwiches during the break. We then had the whole second period to flirt with the girls, and tell jokes.

It became important to me to learn some jokes, and remember the punch line so that I could participate. Over time, I heard and told so many jokes, that it is rare for me to hear one that I haven't already heard a variation of it, and I can anticipate the ending before the story teller is finished telling the story.

I thought that one about jumping out of the plane with a back-pack was cute. :)
 
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