there are some Jokes

[PhotonWrangler]

Cutting corners only makes more corners.

 

[bykfixer]

Cutting corners only makes more corners.

Hmmmmmm

 

[Chauncey Gardiner]

View attachment 41939 Hmmmmmm

Working on making the 18,000 post count, I see.

 

[knucklegary]

Listen to news, the joke is on us..

17,979 Come on Byk!

 

[bykfixer]

This guy takes his dog to the vet and says "doc it looks like it hurts when the dog pees".
Doc says "yeah, how old is the dog?"
Guy says "he's 12".
Doc says "he's peed enough"

 

[Chauncey Gardiner]

My wife complained I don't buy her flowers.


I didn't know she sold flowers.

 

[Chauncey Gardiner]

The women in my life have been ignoring me.

So I sat on the couch and relaxed.

That changed it.

 

[PhotonWrangler]

A guy walks into a furniture store looking for a sofa. The salesman tells him "this sofa will seat 5 people without any problems."

"Great! Now where the hell am I gonna find 5 people without any problems?"

 

[Chauncey Gardiner]

I read that Anheuser-Bush will use donkeys instead of Clydesdales in future advertising. Their first choice was to replace them with unicorns until they learned unicorns don't exist.

 

[Hooked on Fenix]

The women in my life have been ignoring me.

So I sat on the couch and relaxed.

That changed it.

Try turning the T.V. on to a football game and holding a cold drink. It really speeds up their response time.

 

[Chauncey Gardiner]

Try turning the T.V. on to a football game and holding a cold drink. It really speeds up their response time.

Why? I already have a cold drink? Oh, yes of course - I still need a sandwich.

 

[PhotonWrangler]

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't return?

A stick.

 

[bykfixer]

What do you call a man with no arms or legs who got tossed into a swimming pool?
Bob. 🥴

 

[PhotonWrangler]

What do Ice Cube's kids call him?

Popsicle

 

[bykfixer]

 

[3_gun]

A gallon is a volume not a weight. Ex: 1 gal of water = 8.3lbs while 1gal of gasoline = 6lbs. Spock would never make that error, it's illogical to confuse volume for weight. Ounce on the other hand can be either.

Laugh long & prosper

So who's the nerd?

 

[Chauncey Gardiner]

"May the 4th be with you."

- Jedi Knight leaving his dentist office

 

[bykfixer]

 

[bykfixer]

 

[thermal guy]

Why don’t blind people skydive?

because it scared the poop out of their dogs😁😂