there are some Jokes

bykfixer

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Aug 9, 2015
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Dust in the Wind
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buckyball

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Mar 18, 2014
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82
Location
England UK
Two Irish pilots were attempting to land their jet...

but the runway was the shortest they had ever landed on!

Paddy, the chief pilot, slammed on the brakes the minute they hit the runway.

The plane skidded, the brakes squealed, and the two pilots fought desperately with the controls until the jet finally came to a stop just before the end of the runway.

"Jaysus Seamus" said Paddy to his copilot.

"That was close! They really need to make this runway longer, we nearly went off the end!"

"Yeah, but Paddy" Said the copilot.

"Look at how WIDE it is".
 

Law

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Joined
May 17, 2023
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5
Location
yucaipa, ca
A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana, and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: "Talking Dog For Sale".

He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador Retriever sitting there.

"You talk?" he asks.

"Yep," the Lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says "So, what's your story?"

The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so… I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running… But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."

The guy is amazed.

He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

"Ten dollars," the guy says.

"Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"

"Because he's a liar. He's never been out of the yard."
 

tex.proud

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Joined
Mar 31, 2016
Messages
535
Location
Texas
There's a town in Texas spelled BOERNE. Some pronounce it BURNEE, and some pronounce it BOORNEE.
I call it Spring.
Say it aloud quickly now...BURNEE, BOORNEE, BURNEE, BOORNEE, BURNEE, BOORNEE...

Carry On!
 
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