there are some Jokes

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Law

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Two ex infantry guys walk into a tavern and sit at the bar. Sarge, the one guy says,don't stare but you see these 2 guys across from us, that's the way we're gonna look in 20 yrs. Sarge looks over,turns back to his friend and says, you idiot, that's a mirror.
 

Monocrom

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Two ex infantry guys walk into a tavern and sit at the bar. Sarge, the one guy says,don't stare but you see these 2 guys across from us, that's the way we're gonna look in 20 yrs. Sarge looks over,turns back to his friend and says, you idiot, that's a mirror.
Time for some Just For Men, and a new wardrobe. :grin2:
 

Hooked on Fenix

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A porn star with an N.D.A. against her, a serial liar ex lawyer who legally can't testify without violating attorney client confidentiality, and a defendant ex President with a gag order against him walk up to the bar. What do you get?

Three convicted mimes.
 
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buckyball

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I'VE BEEN BANNED FROM Walmart

Yesterday I was at my local Walmart store buying a large bag of My Dog dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had - an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Dog Diet again.

I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in hospital last time, but I'd lost 10 kilograms before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with My Dog nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off the kerb to sniff a labradors rear end and a car hit me.
 

Monocrom

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I'VE BEEN BANNED FROM Walmart

Yesterday I was at my local Walmart store buying a large bag of My Dog dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had - an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Dog Diet again.

I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in hospital last time, but I'd lost 10 kilograms before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with My Dog nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off the kerb to sniff a labradors rear end and a car hit me.
Congratulations! You've become one of the People of Wal-Mart. :ROFLMAO:
 

buckyball

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Congratulations! You've become one of the People of Wal-Mart. :ROFLMAO:
i am in the UK the joke was for Tesco one of the biggest supermarket chains in the UK but i changed it to walmart as it seems most users of this forum are American . I have been into a Walmart in Texas it was huge
 
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