DreamScape
Enlightened
Just had this emailed to me. Thought it was amusing so thought I would share it with you. :naughty:
Apologises if it's an old one.
Wal-Mart has everything!
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like h**l. I guess I better see a doctor.
"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money." Mike replies. There's a new diagnostic computer here at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes about ten seconds and costs ten dollars--a lot cheaper than going to a doctor." So Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar & takes it to his Wal-Mart the next day. He deposits ten dollars and the computer lights up & asks for the urine sample. He places the sample into the machine & waits----ten seconds later the computer ejects a printout that says----"You have tennis elbow; soak your arm in warm water & avoid heavy activity. It will improve within two weeks......
............THANK YOU FOR SHOPPING AT WAL-MART.
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife & daughter, & a sperm sample too for good measure. He hurries back to Wal-Mart to test the computer, inserts ten dollars, deposits his concoction and waits for the results--------------The computer prints the following:
(1) Your tap water is too hard; get a water softener (Aisle 9)
(2) Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo (Aisle 7)
(3) Your daughter has a cocaine habit; get her into rehab
(4) Your wife is pregnant with twins---they aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
(5) If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.
THANK YOU FOR SHOPPING AT WAL-MART
Apologises if it's an old one.
Wal-Mart has everything!
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like h**l. I guess I better see a doctor.
"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money." Mike replies. There's a new diagnostic computer here at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes about ten seconds and costs ten dollars--a lot cheaper than going to a doctor." So Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar & takes it to his Wal-Mart the next day. He deposits ten dollars and the computer lights up & asks for the urine sample. He places the sample into the machine & waits----ten seconds later the computer ejects a printout that says----"You have tennis elbow; soak your arm in warm water & avoid heavy activity. It will improve within two weeks......
............THANK YOU FOR SHOPPING AT WAL-MART.
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife & daughter, & a sperm sample too for good measure. He hurries back to Wal-Mart to test the computer, inserts ten dollars, deposits his concoction and waits for the results--------------The computer prints the following:
(1) Your tap water is too hard; get a water softener (Aisle 9)
(2) Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo (Aisle 7)
(3) Your daughter has a cocaine habit; get her into rehab
(4) Your wife is pregnant with twins---they aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
(5) If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.
THANK YOU FOR SHOPPING AT WAL-MART
