I just can't find a woman for a date

I have different dating problem than Jhereg. I can't find any woman to go out on a date. I tried different online dating sites such as www.plentyoffish.com and www.lavalife.com without any success.

The women want too much from the men. They want really tall guy, earns very high income, look like brad pitt etcc... I never seen any of the guys on those sites manage to get a date with any woman. Are women too choosy? There are many of them over 45 yrs old but never found a guy. What the heck are they looking for anyway?
Yet, I notice that many women at my work place are married. How do their husbands found them in the first place. I work hard in finding the right woman for a date but they all dismiss me as unsuitable. I need you guys help on this issue. :mecry: :sweat:

I don't know how big your town is but you should consider volunteering some time with your local community theatre. There are always a great many women around and like most of the guys there, they're looking for a boyfriend. There are far more women there who are looking for guys than there are guys who are looking for women.

There are probably already things you could do as a Techie. You could start out as a stagehand and you'll come in contact with lots of people. If you're interested they can often teach you how to run sound or lights. The Prop Master meets lots of people.

In addition to being in close proximity to many eligible women at the theatre there are times when everyone gets together socially and your whole involvement won't cost you an arm and a leg like downhill skiing or some other activities that guys do traditionally to meet women. Maybe just some black clothes and some time -- heck, you've already got the flashlight.

I wish I'd have known this myself thirtyfive years ago. I met Mrs. Umbra in technical theatre in ~1990.

And to paraphrase someone on another thread, 'Vash is no good for you, Picard.'

Is the issue meeting people or finding the right one? One is maybe easier to remedy than the other.

That's good advice, Sub. There are lots of bright, creative and eligible people in theatre.

A similar idea - join a local computer users group. They've got them for every platform and there are special interest groups for all of the popular applications, and there are always people who need help with their machines.

Take a college class, depending on your age there may be adult continuing education classes that would be more appropriate than standard classes. Join the local church even if you are not over zealous about your religion. Hang around the library and read books there. See if there is a local "internet" cafe or coffee shop where singles congregate. The key is exposure, get yourself out and involved in the community. Most of those women you refer to probably got married right out of HS or in college. Time is in your favor, women live longer, the older you get the better your odds get.

Is that you on your Avatar? Maybe they prefer them younger!

I don't know why, but some are anxious to get in (marriage) and some are desperate to get out! :shrug:

I think all previous member suggestions are worth doing, helping around the community is a good way to meet nice good looking girls. May I suggest taking dance classes?

What is your age? Hang around where your age goes

AlexGT

Im not much of a dating person nor do I want to know what exactly arousez the ladies...

So...

I put my love on lights...


Tho theres that special someone whom I cannot get my mind off of...

Datingsites are one of the worst places to look... Many of the nice women there are fat sweaty 40 year old guys anyway...

Like Radio said, the key is exposure. Real life exposure. Volunteering is a great way to get you out there. But if someone asks you why you are volunteering, just don't say you're doing it for the chicks...

You'll find the best chicks at church. A nice big church with a young people's ministry or whatever age/group is suitable for you.

cheers

AlexGT said:

Is that you on your Avatar? Maybe they prefer them younger!

AlexGT

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Captain Kirk always seemed to do well with the ladies!

We don't pick them, they pick us.

There are usually adult continuing education classes in most areas, even social type classes like wine tasting etc. those would be good places I think. Churches, theatre troupes like mentioned, any place that offers any kind of adult interaction will usually have more than its share of single women trying like you, to meet others, or simply find somethign interesting to spend their time on. There are even some places that have euchre teams, chess, or other leagues, bowling even.

There are women everywhere. I see them everywhere I go. I don't understand all these topics about not being able to find one.

Just ask them out. It is that simple. See one in the suprmarket, Wal-Mart, on the street, etc.., approach her, check her fingers for engangment or wedding rings, and start talking. It is that simple. Don't be shy. A woman can say yes or no. I would hate to know that I did not even try.
When I asked my wife out I was scared to death. I just knew that she would say no. Now 19 years later, 16 of those married, I am glad I at least tried.

I wonder how many woman are having the same thoughts right now about not being able to find a man. I wonder how many times men and women pass each other on the street who think they can't find someone.

:nana::nana::nana::nana::nana::nana::nana::nana::nana::nana::nana::nana::nana::nana::nana::nana::nana::nana::nana::nana::nana::nana::nana::nana::nana::nana::nana::nana:

picard said:

I have different dating problem than Jhereg. I can't find any woman to go out on a date. I tried different online dating sites such as www.plentyoffish.com and www.lavalife.com without any success.

The women want too much from the men. They want really tall guy, earns very high income, look like brad pitt etcc... I never seen any of the guys on those sites manage to get a date with any woman. Are women too choosy? There are many of them over 45 yrs old but never found a guy. What the heck are they looking for anyway?
Yet, I notice that many women at my work place are married. How do their husbands found them in the first place. I work hard in finding the right woman for a date but they all dismiss me as unsuitable. I need you guys help on this issue. :mecry: :sweat:

Click to expand...

I hadn't been out on a date in over 2 years until recently. I posted a profile on match.com & started sending out winks to prospective women. I was brutally honest on my profile. This narrowed things down a lot & cut the number of women I had to sort through. I narrowed 20 - 30 down to about 5. In the last couple of weeks I narrowed it down to one, and she has the newly acquired title of "girlfriend." She makes me laugh, and challenges me mentally. She makes my blood boil when I chat w/ her online or see her in person, and the feeling is mutual. I don't know where it is going since it's too early to tell, but I am really impressed so far. I think part of the problem you can get into is a matter of desperation. Women can sense that. Don't play games with them, but don't get too uptight. If in doubt, wait a bit before you contact them. Doing it immediately shows desperation & weakness.

picard said:

I have different dating problem than Jhereg. I can't find any woman to go out on a date. I tried different online dating sites such as www.plentyoffish.com and www.lavalife.com without any success.

The women want too much from the men. They want really tall guy, earns very high income, look like brad pitt etcc... I never seen any of the guys on those sites manage to get a date with any woman. Are women too choosy? There are many of them over 45 yrs old but never found a guy. What the heck are they looking for anyway?
Yet, I notice that many women at my work place are married. How do their husbands found them in the first place. I work hard in finding the right woman for a date but they all dismiss me as unsuitable. I need you guys help on this issue. :mecry: :sweat:

Click to expand...

Every single girl I meet is looking for a Knight in shining armor, someone to bail her out of her miserable existence, trying to make ends meet with a crappy job, extreme credit card debt, its is very rare I meet someone without baggage, and when you do meet someone the woman becomes annoying, eg. telling me why don't I get some curtains for my apt. I quit women entirely here in the USA. Now I travel to Cartagena and Cali Colombia. There are unlimited amounts of 18-35 yo women who are dying to be with a gringo for a couple of hours and the fun part I am not with them long enough for them to become annoying. Brazil excluding Rio and Sao Paulo are also fountains of 18-35 yo women and sex is incredible. I try to travel at least 3 times a year meet tons of hot bodied exotic babes then come home to my meager existence. Any time you leave the USA you will have to baseball bat women to stay away from you.

I am 39yrs old now. I haven't date for over 10yrs. I am wary of approaching women in bookstore because they might think I am some weirdo or stalker.

I am also wary of sexual harrassment lawsuit. Women seem to exploit the law to for their personal agenda. I had been turned down many times that I am at the point of giving up.

I am not bald like my avatar. I have full head of hair and still fit with decent six pack on my abs too. Yet, women want something that I can't figure it out. If they are looking for kinight in shining armor, they should travel to disney world and post a large sign: looking for shining knight in armor to sweep me off my feet. I heard of adage that there is match for every person in N. America but I have to disagree with that statement.

Anyway, I want to thank everyone for their opinions in helping me out.

picard said:

Yet, women want something that I can't figure it out.

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Money.

No, seriously. If you dress like someone's whose seen success in life (ie, nice clothing), act with dignity and respect, people are more likely to see you in a better light (pun unintended).

I would tend to agree with Radio, MayCooper, powernoodle, Lee1959 and LifeNRA (that's almost everyone, isn't it?). Part of it is confidence. Girls can smell your fear! (Overconfidence may be a turnoff to some as well.)

Also, maybe you should look at this guide: "Sex Tips for Geeks" (it should actually be called dating tips... :shrug warning: not particularly PG

A lot of truths said in this thread.

Approaching from a different direction ... what is the common element in all your failed attempts at a relationship? It is you, not "the women" as a general group. Food for thought.

Also ... I agree that every human being, be it male or female, can sense desperation in the other, and this acts as a big red warning sign and usually results in a "no".

I do not know your exact situation, and I would not dare to give you any sort of real advice on how to proceed ... but sometimes an indirect and slow approach or no approach at all in the beginning works way better than going straight for the jackpot. Just a thought.

bernie

You could look at it like catching fish. Any motion in that direction causes the little bass to swin away, but if you leave a lure and wait patiently..... ok, ok, I don't have clue; it just sort of happens.