Why do people always expect you to remember them?

This happens to me all the time, including last night. I'm at work where I meet thousands of people. Some guy comes up to me and starts talking to me and insisting that we know each other. He knows my name, but doesn't introduce himself. So I say, "I'm sorry, I have no idea who you are. Where did I meet you? How do I know you?" Then he finally introduces himself, and it's someone who worked at my job many years ago. Well, I don't remember everyone, and I didn't remember him either. I put more effort into remembering the names of the people who don't quit, so I know who I'm working with. Once you're gone consider your name forgotten (for some). OK?

I got so tired of this happening to me that I started a new approach: I sometimes repeat my name to people who I've met but might not remember my name. They always say, "Oh, I know", even if they don't, to save face. Seems to work.

I can hardly ever remember anyone's name. Where I worked, they all went by numbers. I like the number way of doing things. Never any doubt as to what the spelling of the person's number is, or how it is pronounced. Numbers also fit nice in spreadsheets/databases.

After all, a number is a number... Hey, number 263-..-.... what time is it? Just makes sense although, a bit impersonal. I guess "the man" wants it that way.

Beware of people that pretend to know you (it just may be a con artist's approach).

cyberhobo said:

...Where I worked, they all went by numbers...

Click to expand...

Prison? :thinking: Hey, that's cool I know prison "residents" and employees as well!

Folks want to feel good about themselves, that they were important enough to have left a good impression on you. I've surprised some folks by remembering their names - made them feel good. I've also "insulted" a few by calling them someone else (who left enough of a negative impression to remember their name -oops!-)...

Bottom line - I also announce my name to folks as well "just in case" - doesn't hurt.

As I've told my teenage sons..."Your neural pathways aren't even close to being complete yet"....and they respond that mine are disintegrating! Too true indeed!

Wait a minute, I couldn't remember my own name if people didn't shout it at me all the time!

Larry

I am terrible with names. People always seem to remember me though and it drives me crazy that I do not remember them. I usually know I have seen their face somewhere but that is usaully all my brain will let me remember. Now my memory is even worse.

To be honest I usually just go along with them like I remember them. Then when they leave I will ask my wife who they were. I know that is wrong to do and I should just be honest. I guess I don't want to hurt their feelings.

I can't rememer names, and frequently have trouble with faces. At this rate I'll be drooling in a wheelchair by the time I'm 50.

Im 19 and I dont remember who I graduated high school with [that was only 2 months ago] except three...

A friend who works at a bank, a neighbor who bothers the living @#$% out of me..

And the girl I love....

I was legally blind for most of my life and get that too.

I just spoke to someone on the phone earlier about a job lead. Said they remembered me. Said I was the blind guy in a wheelchair. Told her I am not blind nor use a wheelchair.

once at a wedding, i recognized this person, went over to her table and started talking to her. after a while, she said, sorry, i dont remember you. frankly, i couldnt remember where i met her, so i started asking questions to what was her major, courses she took, so forth. her boyfriend kept on thinking i was someone else. finally, it dawned to me that i saw her around the library. since i practically lived in the library doing reseach, her face imprinted in my mind and i thought she was a friend... embarrassed, i said, nice meeting you then left to go back to my table :laughing:

..thought this recent post from caterpillarforums might have some relevance..


`Who are YOU?' said the Caterpillar.

This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. Alice replied, rather shyly, `I--I hardly know, sir, just at present-- at least I know who I WAS when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then.'

`What do you mean by that?' said the Caterpillar sternly. `Explain yourself!'

`I can't explain MYSELF, I'm afraid, sir' said Alice, `because I'm not myself, you see.'

`I don't see,' said the Caterpillar.

`I'm afraid I can't put it more clearly,' Alice replied very politely, `for I can't understand it myself to begin with; and being so many different sizes in a day is very confusing.'

`It isn't,' said the Caterpillar.

`Well, perhaps you haven't found it so yet,' said Alice; `but when you have to turn into a chrysalis--you will some day, you know--and then after that into a butterfly, I should think you'll feel it a little *****, won't you?'

`Not a bit,' said the Caterpillar.

`Well, perhaps your feelings may be different,' said Alice; `all I know is, it would feel very ***** to ME.'

`You!' said the Caterpillar contemptuously. `Who are YOU?'

I have the begging stages of CRS (Can't Remember S&^&) and at bowling last night I couldn't type the name of the first bowler that I've only been bowling 8 weeks with!

I am liable to run into any number of folks who know be but not likewise.

Oh well....

Just pee on their shoes......be amazed at how many people remember you then.

dragoman

The older I get, the fewer names I can remember.

Every once in awhile someone asks me "Where do I know you from?". Sometimes I know and other times we work it out. Once I get a clue, I frequently surprise them with their name. Since they don't recall mine, I am frequently told that I have an amazing memory. I think it is more likely that I am just not that memorable. ;(

There is something very affirming of our humanity in being remembered. I suppose it also affirms our humanity to forget.

I'm pretty useless when it comes to remembering anything important, names included. Birthdays are the worst, the only one I can remember is my own (seriously, I can't remember anyone elses birthday, not even my closest family).

I'm very good at remembering useless information though. Like every line in movies I've only seen a few times, specs on everything from flashlights to computer parts and various facts that are only useful when playing trivial pursuit :laughing:

My problem is that I recognise..and am recognised regularly out and about...(off duty)...

and I have to start thinking...."Do I know that guy socially...or have I busted him at one time"....

Can be very difficult...

I have said for years that I think I have face dyslexia. I literally cannot recognize somebody I've known for years in a setting outside of where I would expect to see that person. It's like I can only truly remember about 2 dozen faces anywhere, but after that I have to associate known faces with places or activities.

Drives me nuts sometimes.

I have a photographic memory but I don't have any film.

It's frustrating to be able to recognize a face but not remember their name. Sometimes it helps to come up with some sort of association to remember them by. Pick out something about their appearance or behavior and give that quality a nickname that you keep to yourself.

For instance, Bush has a nickname for Rove that probably has something to do with his abilities at spin control - "Turd Blossom." I am NOT making this up.

Maybe it's there feeling of inflated self-worth and importance... Just a shot in the dark.