JOKE

MR Bulk

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Aug 12, 2002
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Hawaii
One Friday, two youths were arrested on misdemeanor drug charges and were brought before the judge. Being they were first-time offenders, he gave them each a chance to work off their charges and instructed them to see how many of their friends they could get to swear off drugs over the weekend. They were to report back the following Monday morning.

On Monday he asked each of the boys to provide their results. The first boy told the judge he managed to convert 7 of his friends. "That's very good", said the judge, "How did you do it?"

The boy borrowed a pen and piece of paper and drew two circles, one smaller than the other, and explained their meaning:

Pointing to the larger circle, he stated, "This is your brain." Then pointing to the smaller circle, he said, "This is your brain after using drugs."

"Excellent, young man! The charges are dismissed!"

The second boy reported he converted 266 people. "That is amazing!" gasped the judge, and asked how he did it.

The second boy also used a pen and paper and also drew two circles, one smaller than the other:

Pointing to the smaller circle, he said, "This is your asshole before going to prison..."
 

The_LED_Museum

*Retired*
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Federal Way WA. USA
That's too funny!!
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Cutter

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Indy500ville
And here after all these years that I've been drawing circles and all I've ever said is....see....this is a smaller circle.....and this is a larger circle. Oh....the time I've wasted.

Pretty funny joke Mr. Bulk
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lemlux

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Joined
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San Diego
The simplicity and graphic linked and symmetrical imagery of the story are precisely what will cause the target audience to remember the story.

It effectively communicates its underlying message while avoiding being blown-off as emanating from an out-of-it and boring do-gooder source.

I, for one, will retell the story, Charlie.
 

geepondy

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Apr 15, 2001
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Massachusetts
If they could ever commericalize that joke (like that would ever happen), I'm serious when I say it would have a much bigger impact on the young generation then the old chiche commerical of the frying egg indication "this is your brain on drugs."
 

Saaby

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Jun 17, 2002
Messages
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Location
Utah
Originally posted by geepondy:
If they could ever commericalize that joke (like that would ever happen), I'm serious when I say it would have a much bigger impact on the young generation then the old chiche commerical of the frying egg indication "this is your brain on drugs."
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Where do you think I got this??

This is your brain...
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This is your brain on drugs
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Any questions?
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But seriously, I never got the commercial with the egg and the frying pan...I'd much perfer a cooked egg (My brain on drugs) over a raw one
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Nope, I'm not on drugs...I've had Lortab (Morphine and Codene) before for legit reasons and personally don't care for the feeling of being loopy!
 

Wingerr

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N 40.711561 W 74.011753
In a similar vein:

Nick the Dragon Slayer was an official in King Arthur's court. He had a long-standing obsession to nuzzle the beautiful Queen's voluptuous breasts, but he knew the penalty for this would be death.

One day he revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio the Physician, who was the King's chief doctor. Horatio the Physician exclaimed that he could arrange for Nick the Dragon Slayer to satisfy his desire, but it would cost him 1,000 gold coins to arrange it. Without pause, Nick the Dragon Slayer readily agreed to have Horatio the Physician arrange it and that he would gladly pay the 1,000 gold coins for the chance to satisfy his desires for the Queen.

The next day, Horatio the Physician made a batch of itching powder and poured a little bit into the Queen's massive brassiere while she was taking
a bath. Soon after she dressed, the itching commenced and grew intense.

Upon being summoned to the Royal Chambers to address this incident, Horatio the Physician informed the King and Queen that only a special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and that tests had shown that only the saliva of Nick the Dragon Slayer had present the antidote to cure the itch. King Arthur quickly summoned Nick the Dragon Slayer. Horatio the Physician then slipped Nick the Dragon Slayer the antidote for the itching powder, which he quickly put it into his mouth,
and for the next four hours, worked passionately on the Queen's voluptuous and magnificent breasts. The Queen's itching was eventually relieved, and Nick the Dragon Slayer left satisfied and as a hero.

Upon returning to his chamber, Nick the Dragon Slayer found Horatio the Physician requesting his payment of 1,000 gold coins. With his obsession
now satisfied, Nick the Dragon Slayer couldn't have cared less, and knowing that Horatio the Physician could never report this matter to the King, shooed him away with no payment made.

The next day, Horatio the Physician slipped a massive dose of the same itching powder into King Arthur's loincloth. King Arthur quickly summoned
Nick the Dragon Slayer...

MORAL OF THE STORY: Pay your bills
 

Wingerr

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The World\'s 22 Thinnest Books

Circulating the joke rounds:

22. FRENCH WAR HEROES - by Jacques Chirac

21. HOW I SERVED MY COUNTRY - by Jane Fonda

20. MY BEAUTY SECRETS - by Janet Reno

19. HOW TO BUILD YOUR OWN AIRPLANE - by John Denver

18. MY SUPER BOWL HIGHLIGHTS - by Dan Marino

17. THINGS I LOVE ABOUT BILL - by HILLARY CLINTON

16. MY LITTLE BOOK OF PERSONAL HYGIENE - by Osama Bin aden

15. THINGS I CANNOT AFFORD - by Bill Gates

14. THINGS I WOULD NOT DO FOR MONEY - by Dennis Rodman

13. MY WILD YEARS - by Al Gore

12. AMELIA EARHART'S GUIDE TO THE PACIFIC

11. AMERICA'S MOST POPULAR LAWYERS

10. DETROIT: a Travel Guide

9. A COLLECTION of MOTIVATIONAL SPEECHES -by Dr. J. Kevorkian

8. EVERYTHING MEN KNOW ABOUT WOMEN

7. EVERYTHING WOMEN KNOW ABOUT MEN

6. ALL THE MEN I HAVE LOVED BEFORE - by Ellen de Generes

5. MIKE TYSON'S GUIDE TO DATING ETIQUETTE

4. SPOTTED OWL RECIPES - by the EPA

3. THE AMISH PHONE DIRECTORY

2. MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS - by O. J. Simpson

And the world's Number One Thinnest Book ........

1. MY BOOK OF MORALS - by Bill Clinton/with introduction by The Rev. Jessie Jackson
 

ewick

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Feb 26, 2003
Messages
252
Location
Kentucky
A woman stopped by unannounced at her recently married son's house. She rang the doorbell and walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"I'm waiting for my husband to come home from work," the daughter-in-law answered.
"But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.
"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained.
"Love dress? But you're naked!"
"My husband loves me to wear this dress," she explained. "It excites him to no end. Everytime he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He can't get enough of me."
The mother-in-law left. When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and lay on the couch waiting for her husband to arrive. Finally, her husband came home. He walked in and saw her laying there so provocatively.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"This is my love dress," she whispered, sensually.
"Needs ironing," he said. "What's for dinner?"
 

flashfan

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Aug 2, 2001
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USA
Snipped from ewick's post: "Needs ironing," he said. "What's for dinner?"

Guess who's sleeping in the dog house for the next six months?
 

Stanley

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Jul 10, 2003
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Canberra, Australia
Ok, here's one... (this isn't me by the way...)


I was happy. My girlfriend and me were dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me, quite much indeed, and that was my mother-in-law to be.

She was a career woman, smart, but most of all beautiful and sexy, who sometimes flirted me, which made me feel uncomfortable.

One day she called me and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. So I went. She was alone, and when I arrived, she whispered to me, that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. So before I got married and committed my life to her daughter, she wanted to make love to me just once.

What could I say? I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word. So, she said, I'll go to the bedroom, and if you are up for it, just come and get me. I just watched her delicious behind as she went up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, and then turned around and went to the front door......

I opened it, and stepped out of the house. Her husband was standing outside, and with tears in his eyes, hugged me and said, we are very happy and pleased. You have passed our little test ! We couldn't have asked
for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family !

> > Lesson learnt : Always keep your condoms in your car. < <
 
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