Virgins and lamp oil

I heard this today and have a question for y'all.

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Ten virgins set out to meet a bridegroom ... half took extra oil for their lamps ... half didn't.

Since no one knew when the bridegroom was coming, the virgins had to wait until late at night for him to arrive.

When the unprepared virgins ran out of lamp oil, they asked to borrow some from the other virgins ... who refused to share, because they, too, needed the extra oil ... and suggested those who ran out of lamp oil go purchase some in the village.

While the unprepared virgins were gone, the bridegroom appeared and took the virgins into the party.

When the unprepared virgins returned, they found the door locked and they were unable to enter.

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My question? Which virgins hang out on CPF? Right! Obviously the ones who brought extra oil for their lamps!

And then moral of this story? Be prepared. Always bring extra batteries or oil, depending on which lamp you carry!

Originally posted by I_rv_too:
I heard this today

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<font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Man... where do YOU hang out?

He's a Catholic! That was today's Gospel reading and homile

Hotfoot's right on the money!

I have to admit, usually I sleep during the homily ... but man, when he started talking about virgins and lamps, I perked right up!

And then about putting oil in lamps to make them brighter ... burn longer ... why, I thought I'd died and gone to heaven!

I'm wondering if I should have posted this in the "battery" section, since we have no "lamp oil" section ... nor do we have a "virgin" section!

Nah, this is really off topic... just nice for the Cafe!

Originally posted by I_rv_too:
but man, when he started talking about virgins and lamps, I perked right up!

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<font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Ok, we have a winner. This is the funniest thing I've heard all day.

I'm hereby declaring the Cafe to be the official "Virgin and Lamp Oil" section of the CPF.

Man sometimes you guys are just too much! Enough about lamps and oil, what happened at the party?

Why do I have the feeling that this story used to be "10 strippers and a bachelor party"? I mean, where the heck do you find 10 virgins? What the heck is a bridegroom doing going out to meet them? Doesn't his finance mind? Why aren't his friends tagging along? Do all ten of them need a light? Maybe the guy would bring his own light? If the guy shows up, finds 5 girls, he's going to leave? Like the party will be better?

Like all religious stories, this one falls apart under inspection.

I have to admit - I'd be tempted to blow the lamps out while there's still fuel left, and oil wrestle in the dark.
But that's just me. I'm the athletic type.

There are some circles in which such activity can be an object lesson in drawing out the deepest feelings of those involved with learning of themselves. This isn't one.

The treatment of Jesus' parables in this manner ignores the feelings of those that place them on a higher plane and validates the advice given by him at Matthew 7:6

Originally posted by I_rv_too:
[QB]

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My question? Which virgins hang out on CPF? Right! Obviously the ones who brought extra oil for their lamps!

QB]

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<font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Well if they're hanging out here they ain't virgins anymore. I mean plenty of guys with lights.I mean...aw forget it.

Originally posted by Empath:
There are some circles in which such activity can be an object lesson in drawing out the deepest feelings of those involved with learning of themselves.

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<font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Oil wrestling with virgins?

Your right Empath, this is not the place. This is the "Virgins and lamp oil" thread.

Originally posted by Empath:


The treatment of Jesus' parables in this manner ignores the feelings of those that place them on a higher plane and validates the advice given by him at Matthew 7:6

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<font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Matthew 7:6
Give not that which is holy to the dogs, and do not throw down your pearls before swine, lest these trample them under their feet, and those turn and tear you.

Dear god (DavidW),

Your follower pisseth me offeth by calling me a pig and a dog (via scripture of course). I pray that you are a just god and will ask him not to sinneth in this fashion again. Amen.

Jim

Good grief Empath. Man, you have to lighten up.

I was the one who started this. CPF has 2700 members ... many of whom are going to read this thread.

While it might bring a smile to many faces, it will also cause many to stop and think and understand the consequences of failing to prepare for the Second Coming.

Why do you think Jesus used this parable in the first place? Right ... to reach the masses.

But I'm sure the pharasees had similar reactions to yours when they, too, heard about the parable.

Originally posted by Light-Headed:
Should we just talk about politics........that always seems to go well.

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L-H -

I've never agreed with your sentiment more. I've read your little post three times now and it makes me laugh each time.

Nowhere in the bible does it condone the use of battery-powered lamps. So if your lamp isn't powered by oil, mister you need to mend your ways.

This message brought to you by OPEC.

Dude! Olive oil! First pressing only.

-Jon

Evan you crack me up

Originally posted by Evan:
Nowhere in the bible does it condone the use of battery-powered lamps. So if your lamp isn't powered by oil, mister you need to mend your ways.

This message brought to you by OPEC.

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<font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Nice sacrilege there, Evan.