I'm "selfish" because I don't want to have kids.

I've heard this over and over from several co-workers, some who have 6 kids. One guy I work with, the janitor that cleans my cubicle, has 12 kids!

I, myself, am 30 years old and have been married for a couple of years, which by virtue of popular opinion up here at work means I should have at least 2 children by now. This is just my opinion, but it seems to me, choosing to have kids is really what's selfish.... and rather selfindulgent, especially when there are so many children right now that need to be adopted.

I've known for quite some time that parenting isn't for me. Simply going to Walmart to observe all of the screaming, misbehaving, prepubescent brats and selfabsorbed, narcissistic teens demanding their parents provide them with cellphones and MP3 players, is for me, the ultimate birthcontrol.

From an environmental point of view, having children is the single worst thing you could do. Assuming you have 3 kids and each of your kids has 3 kids, how many generations until there are literally thousands of your descendants consuming resources and releasing polution, until you get Easter Island on a global scale. I could drive a hummer 16 hours a day for the next 10,000 years and still have less of an overall environmental impact that having even 1 child.

I would never suggest the government past laws to limit family size like China has but I wonder how much longer humanity can continue to expand itself. Even if the Earth can sustain 50 billion people and still somehow leave some habitat for other species, the human race will still have to limit it's own numbers eventually. When that day comes, how will it be done? I can't see people voluntarily choosing to abstain from reproducing. The genetic drive is too strong, just ask the Janitor I work with.

Amen brother. My wife and I feel the exact same way. We get all the child experiences vicariously thru our friends and we are fine with that. Our children can be locked up while we are at work, and never say they hate us. They are dogs. And we are happy.

Edit: I guess I should clarify that we love and care for our dogs. It is just a perk that you can kennel them while at work. Also I would never lock up a child should I have one. My wife and I would be perfectly competent parents. We simply choose not to be.

If it is any comfort I will pray that you never have any children.

I couldn't have said it better myself!!!!
Stick to your guns. I you want, and can support them and have the willingness and drive to make it work, good for you, but a lot of people shove their opinions down others throats and assume because one is married (or together for a long time)it is expected that kids are part of the plan. I know too mant people that are pulling their hair out trying to make it work. They end up miserable and angry, which in turn just messes the children up! On the other hand I know people that have been together for a while with NO kids and they say thing like "I just don't know how people with kids make it work". Its hard in todays world and in my opinion, not the same place today in which a safe, stable, child friendly envirnment SHOULD BE had. Thats my 2 cents. Stay strong and happy....don't have kids.

Only down side: No one to pass down my cool flashlights and sweet firearms to.

:mecry:

Simple solution.....use the HECK out of 'em!!! then sell 'em when you don't need 'em anymore and spend the money to go to the playboy mansion for one last HURRAW!!!

cchurchi said:

Only down side: No one to pass down my cool flashlights and sweet firearms to.

:mecry:

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Sure there is.. send them to me!

If you wanna not have them, then for heaven's sake, don't have them!

Keep a few practical things in mind:

1. this should be a consensus between husband and wife (or significant other). If you agree fine, if not then it is an issue which should definitely be worked out before you commit either way (or change partners).

2. If you have a wife/significant other, then child bearing has a time window for her (and for you to a degree - don't want to be tossing toddlers into the air in your 60's...). Understand that delaying past a certain time removes the option.

If both 1 and 2 are go for no kids, then your only decision is whether to take transient birth control steps or a permanent one (vasectomy) given that the permanent one is much more convenient, if you're willing to commit to this decision. Vasectomies may be reversible, but the process is expensive at least.

Your call. Good luck and a good life to you.

I accept and respect those who chose not to have children, especially when they are cognizant of not being cut out for the task. I also don't think they should feel presured by others to have them.

That said, I have raised a child and had one pass on, and don't like anyone telling me that todays world is not worth bringing a child into. After all the children of today can be the ones to make the world the place it should be. :shrug:

carbine15 said:

Sure there is.. send them to me!

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Thanks for the offer, however, I don't plan on dying anytime soon.

I was thinking of including in my will a provision that all my personal belongings be auctioned off with the proceeds going to the VA and some to St. Judes hospital.

I wonder how much your most valued flashlight will go for at a charity auction. $5.00?
Good luck resting peacefully.

cchurchi said:

I've heard this over and over from several co-workers, some who have 6 kids.

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Misery loves company.

carbine15 said:

I wonder how much your most valued flashlight will go for at a charity auction. $5.00?
Good luck resting peacefully.

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Still better than "the state" getting it!

I'm surpsrised this hasn't brought up the religious aspect yet. Is there not some Christian tenet to the effect of "go forth and multiply"? Dude, it's your duty (I said doodie, lol)!

My wife and I feel the same. We have nine "kids" that wouldn't be here if we hadn't adopted them, and their impact on the Earth is pretty dang small.

This might bring the flames but, I actually think that some of the folks that feel the need to bear 4/5/6 children might actually be the more selfish individuals. I honestly think that for many people, it's an ego feed. When there are so many parentless children in the world, why not spread the love to beings already in existence?

Just my opinion and random thoughts, I don't have a problem with folks having lots of kids, just don't agree with it.

I never should have come in here today! Good thread though!

Bringing children into the world is not for everyone, especially those who embrace the misconceptions of what raising a child is really about. I'm not saying that any of you fall into this category, because I don't know you. However, I have plenty of friends who convince themselves to not have children for all the wrong reasons (making a lotta money is one of them). And I have equal number of friends who HAVE children for all the wrong reasons (pressure from parents and friends is one of them).

The underlying truth to all this is the fact that having children is a LIFE-CHANGING decision. IT WILL ALTER YOUR LIFE. Period. There's nothing truer than this. If you have any self-doubt about having a child, don't have them. Children are not dice to gamble with. They are an investment that requires a lot of time, some money and most importantly, love. Lacking any one of these necessities will bring some hardship to the child. I am not saying you need to be rich to have children, however, if you know you cannot provide the basic necessities to the child, then you should think about not having them.

When I see the terms "brat" and "narcissistic" as your initial descriptors for children, then your decision to not have them is a good one!

To say that having children are the worst thing you can do for the environment I think is ridiculous. What is worst for the environment are people like us.... it will be our children who will be the ones fixing it.


WP

We've been married 16 years and don't have children. Our path took a different route then expected so it was a choice we made at the time. Just recently, some distant relatives commented to my wife about us not having children.

Since we don't have children, we compensate. So yes, we do pursue more time together and it includes vacations along with some comforts. To presume it's a lifestyle we chose over children and for a selfish nature...not so.

(rant)

By now, if we were going to have children, we would. These ladies don't know the circumstances but ASSUME. It doesn't take brains to realize that if people are going to have children, they do so. If they don't...it's none of their flippin' business. There are circumstances and it is obviously a decision made....respect it.

We've heard the selfish thing...I want to :whoopin: these people. If a couple chooses not to...it's not for public discussion. Keep their thoughts to themselves.

I dunno, guys don't ask but women seem to be digging for something to chew on. It is one of those mindless discussions that open to pissing matches about kids. Mine did this...mine did that...:duck:

My wife and I are the same way. no kids. It is nice to do what you want when you want without having to worry about dipers, babysitters etc...
Most of our friends have kids, but true friends and co-workers that are worth communicating with would never pressure you to have kids if you don't want them.
It is much better to buy flashlights than to buy dipers...yet another reason I don't want one

Everyone needs to make their own decisions, but must realize that children are PEOPLE and have needs. Responsibility is great--if you do not want children or cannot be good parents, don't have them. That's a good decision for the potential children!

Having said that, my wife and I are blessed with two children. Without going into details, let me say that our children are incredible blessings and I thank God for them every day. I'd trade all my flashlights (and everything else) for them. No hesitation.

Children are reflections of their parents, to some degree. When you talk about brats--look at the parents. Guess what? This is not 100% accurate, but close.

As to saying another person should have kids or not--that's not responsible. Each person should make their own decisions with the potential children's best interests in mind. Read that again--it's not about the parents, it's about the children. As someone said above, they're not bargaining chips, they're PEOPLE.

Anyway, sounds like you made a good decision for you. It's not my decision but I respect it more than you may realize. Now to go see my kids!

Zigzago said:

Misery loves company.

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So very true!

I only have to feed my flashlights every couple of weeks and they don't poop.

Now that the need for children to secure one's own survival in old age is no longer that relevant ... the decision to have as well as the decision no to have children are both purely selfish ones.
This is not bad though.

I myself am not sure wether I want children or not. I am torn ... and so is my girl. Which is a very bad thing that lies heavy on our shoulders. The time window is rapidly closing for us to have children. And we are sitting idly ... in ambivalence.
It hurts.

bernie