Have you ever felt invisible?

Have you ever made a significant change to your personal appearance and no one noticed?

I used to have a full mustache and beard. I had it for six months. With the weather getting warmer, last week I decided to shave it off. Since then I have spent time with 14 different people that I see on a regular basis, and no one noticed. I must be invisible. Or something.

EssLight said:

Have you ever made a significant change to your personal appearance and no one noticed?

I used to have a full mustache and beard. I had it for six months. With the weather getting warmer, last week I decided to shave it off. Since then I have spent time with 14 different people that I see on a regular basis, and no one noticed. I must be invisible. Or something.

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Perhaps they were around you before you had your beard and are used to seeing you without it.

Some people don't like to mention stuff even if they notice. Why so bummed? I noticed your sad sig line in a different thread. Don't worry so much. Life is too short. Look for the positive in things. Smile. :laughing:

Invisible? No. I thought I could move super fast once. I was going around tapping people on the shoulder and running away before they could turn around. It really was quite amazing. I'm sure I was under the influence of something not quite legal. I recall a bonfire.

Who said that?

Must be a ghost or something?

Yep - confirmed, you are invisible.

Well, yes. I think we all do.

sorry, I could not resist. Just highlight it.

Yeah, it happens. The one that usually makes me second guess myself is when i say somethin in a car to someone or in a group of people and not 1 person reacts. It puts my brain into emergency 'wait, I DID just say that, right? I didn't just think it??!' mode. Nomatter how many times it happens, it still gets me. It is usually most unsettling when it happens 1 on 1 with someone. Usually I end up asking 'you did just hear me, right?' and the other person's response is usually something like 'yes. i was thinking about it.' or something along those lines.

Where near Philly are you from?

Sometimes I think people will detect something different about you, but not really notice what it is, so no comment is made.

I know to YOU the beard/mustache shaving was a big deal, but maybe others couldn't put their finger on exactly what had changed. I say this because I've done that very same thing to my brother. He has had a goatee for a number of years, but there have been easily 3 times in the last 4 years where he shaved the goatee and I "didn't notice". It wasn't that I didn't notice ANY change in his look, but my mind didn't register that it was the facial hair. When he finally told me he shaved his goat, it was like his feelings were hurt a little as well. He just couldn't understand how I didn't notice exactly what had changed.

Maybe it's a function of the busy world we live in...we are all so concerned with the tasks we have on our plate and what's going on in OUR OWN WORLD, we forget to notice the changes in others.

Has anyone asked if you got a hair cut or lost weight or anything? Sometimes that will be a manifestation of their noticing a change but not knowing exactly what has changed.

Either way, don't let it bother you...after all, regardless of what issues you have swimming in your head, maybe the others have equivalent or bigger things to deal with. I think that's why we gravitate towards people who are empathetic and want to sit down for 15 minutes and talk about what's going on in OUR world.

No disabled people replied to this? Amazing how invisible you can be in a 400 lb electric wheelchair thats 26 inches wide 47 long and the user sits just shy of 5ft with led lights when around other people. Whats equally amazing is how visible you become when you are within inches of someones car.

Yup, being a hairy guy I would do stuff out of bordom like shave my head, face or both and see who notices what or nothing at all. I would even switch wheelchairs too to mix it up. So I would sit 14 inches from the ground vs 30 or so from the electric to push wheelchair.

What equally amazing is how much people notice I own a new toyota car vs a classic mercedes benz. THe homeless people never let me forget what I drove as they walked up to me knocking onthe windows asking for change on broad street in the city of richmond when I drove the benz. I would tell them I was a student and just had a debit card. Havent met any homeless people who take debit card. But man, I am the talk of the work place with my entry level rice burner from toyota. Even hard core American made car supporters are asking me about fuel economy, ride, etc.

I never feel invisible when I have my air horn with me

Sometimes it takes two or three sightings before it clicks with the other person and they say something. It could be that they're not exactly sure what looks different and they're afraid of looking foolish if they mention the wrong thing (i.e. did you cut your hair?). It could actually speak more about their own insecurities than anything else.

When I changed my haircolor from dark blonde to flaming pink or bright green, you'd think that would get noticed...but it was kind of the opposite. :green:

Thanks for the replies. So at least my post is visible.

Yes, the most likely explanation is that people are used to seeing me both with and without a beard. But, people commented when I last cut my hair. And back when I started growing the beard. And when a friend of mine shaved his beard, almost everyone said something. So it just seemed strange that no one noticed my beard was gone. It shouldn't bother me so much. But it did for some reason.

prof, I found your reply amusing.

Some of you in wheelchairs feel invisible? Ooof. My complaint is minor by comparison.

It's strange when you are standing around near your firneds and they act as if you don't exhist. Unfortunately everyone else seems to notice, being stealthy is multi facited.

What was amazing for me as I went from using a blindness cane to walking cane, crutch, walker and finally wheelchair was how people viewed and or respected you or lack their of. The wheelchair you got the least. The other walking instrunments most people helped or did not hinder you. The wheelchair they walk all over you and it was faily common to look at something and have someone get between you and what you are looking at like a painting, items on a store shelf or the bus.

Still, being 6 ft 3 and weighing 322 lbs, its amazing how invisible I can be.

I went from long hair to short hair in 2005. People still don't recognize me.

Yep, I KNOW I'm invisible. Women seem to NEVER see me.. LOL

Dennis Miller (SNL ect.) once said, "The only thing worse than being constantly interupted in a resturaunt having dinner by a fan asking for a autograph...is when they stop."

I think we all (or at least most of us) want and need recognition and acceptance. It drives a great deal of what society does. And it sucks when we do not feel that we are getting it. Not totally sure what the solution is though....

If you were a woman, I'd say folks were afraid of a sexual harassment charge. That's why I _never_ remark about any changed or remarkable characteristic of any woman, because I just can't afford it. But, if you had full mustache and beard, then, well, wait, I don't think it would be "fair" or "sensitive" of me to even make a guess on your gender. Because that would draw a distinction and be "judgmental" !! Distinctions of any kind are not allowed, you know. It's not fair to distinguish. Even distinguishing the same person today from yesterday might be "incorrect" behavior these days. Maybe that explains it!!!! (sorry about all that)

Galiphrey said:

If you were a woman, I'd say folks were afraid of a sexual harassment charge. That's why I _never_ remark about any changed or remarkable characteristic of any woman, because I just can't afford it. But, if you had full mustache and beard, then, well, wait, I don't think it would be "fair" or "sensitive" of me to even make a guess on your gender. Because that would draw a distinction and be "judgmental" !! Distinctions of any kind are not allowed, you know. It's not fair to distinguish. Even distinguishing the same person today from yesterday might be "incorrect" behavior these days. Maybe that explains it!!!! (sorry about all that)

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That's ridiculous. Women WANT to be told that they look good/pretty. Even if it is a lie. Giving a complement is not sexual harassment (keep 'nice rack' between you and your buddies).