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Thread: Best lawyer story in years

  1. #1
    Flashaholic
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    Default Best lawyer story in years

    THIS HAS GOT TO BE THE BEST LAWYER STORY OF THE YEAR, DECADE AND PROBABLY THE CENTURY:


    Charlotte , North Carolina


    A lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured
    them against, among other things, fire.


    Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars
    and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy,
    the lawyer filed a claim against the insurance company.


    In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost "in a series of
    small fires."


    The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason, that
    the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion.


    The lawyer sued.. and WON!


    (Stay with me.)


    Delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company that
    the claim was frivolous. The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer
    held a policy from the company, which it had warranted that the cigars
    were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable fire"
    and was obligated to pay the claim.


    Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance
    company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss
    of the cigars lost in the "fires".


    NOW FOR THE BEST PART..


    After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him
    arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!!


    With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being
    used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his
    insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000
    fine.


    This is a true story and was the First Place winner in the recent
    Criminal Lawyers Award Contest.

  2. #2
    Banned
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    Default Re: Best lawyer story in years

    Sounds made up but if it is true that is the best story ever!

  3. #3
    *Flashaholic*
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    Default Re: Best lawyer story in years

    I love it when lawyers try to pull a fast one, and then get screwed over by other lawyers. This story sounds like urban legend, but if true it's a great ending.

  4. #4

    Default Re: Best lawyer story in years

    Who cares if it's true, it made me laugh. Had a rough day and a good laugh is much appreciated!

    Got Biodiesel?

  5. #5
    Retired Administrator Norm's Avatar
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    Default Re: Best lawyer story in years


  6. #6
    Flashaholic*
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    Default Re: Best lawyer story in years

    God I love lawyers...

  7. #7
    Flashaholic
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    Default Re: Best lawyer story in years


  8. #8
    Flashaholic goldenlight's Avatar
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    Wink2 Re: Best lawyer story in years

    Looks like it's not true (unfortunately...) but it is a very good story, anyway.

    And let's not forget the recent TRUE STORY about the JUDGE who sued a Dry Cleaners for $54 MILLION dollars over the loss of a pair of pants.

    He lost. (Duh....) Ahole judge....
    "Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with important matters".
    -Albert Einstein

    "La vengeance est un plat qui se mange froid"
    Pierre Ambroise Francois Choderios de LaClos (1741-1803)

  9. #9
    Flashaholic*
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    Default Re: Best lawyer story in years

    Reminds me of this one someone emailed me a few days ago...
    ---
    Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one.

    Reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in our jobs.

    After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.

    The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

    Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.

    Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

    By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever had an accident.

    P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
    S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

    P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
    S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

    P: Something loose in cockpit
    S: Something tightened in cockpit

    P: Dead bugs on windshield.
    S: Live bugs on back-order.

    P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent
    S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

    P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
    S: Evidence removed.

    P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
    S: DME volume set to more believable level.

    P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
    S: That's what friction locks are for.

    P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
    S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

    P: Suspected crack in windshield.
    S: Suspect you're right.

    P: Number 3 engine missing.
    S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

    P: Aircraft handles funny.
    S: Aircraft warned to: straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

    P: Target radar hums.
    S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

    P: Mouse in cockpit.
    S: Cat installed.

    And the best one for last..................

    P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
    S: Took hammer away from midget.

  10. #10
    Flashaholic* greenlight's Avatar
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    Default Re: Best lawyer story in years

    gotta love a good sense of humor...

  11. #11
    Flashaholic*
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    Default Re: Best lawyer story in years

    The lawyer story is false according to http://www.snopes.com/crime/clever/cigarson.asp

    WOuldn't that be insurance fraud, not arson? Isn't arson specifically the burning of real property? I guess according to this definition it usually is. But also "personal property" of ANOTHER. In this case, it was his property. I think I tend to overthing things, sometimes. THen again, I'm a lawyer.

    "Any willful or malicious burning or attempt to burn, with or without intent to defraud, a dwelling house, public building, motor vehicle, or aircraft, personal property of another, etc. Some jurisdictions define "arson" as the intentional setting of a fire to a building in which people live; others include as "arson" the intentionally setting of a fire to any building."

    THe aircraft ones are really, really funny, though.

  12. #12
    Flashaholic*
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    Default Re: Best lawyer story in years

    That is a really good lawyer story. I love to hear stories where lawyers get some of the sh(t that they dish out. Thanks the Fuzz.

    Thanks Scott.cr - those are really good!
    Last edited by LED_Thrift; 07-07-2007 at 11:02 PM.

  13. #13
    Enlightened WhatMACHI's Avatar
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    Default Re: Best lawyer story in years

    Even though it may not be true. These stories involving wit and someone getting their own medicine are a great read

    I only with more stupid cases like this would fail.

  14. #14
    Flashaholic* Carpe Diem's Avatar
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    Default Re: Best lawyer story in years

    Scott.cr....great post. Thank you!
    Proud custodian of Tvodrd`s Tungsten Larry Light, a CR2 LL, some NLS's, a 14430 LL, a CR2 LL head on Don's modded Arc AA; Peter`s Arc`s and Brass Arc AAA; Mike Jordan`s gems; some really great lights from Enrique, Fred and Tain ...and *several* of Don`s creations.

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