Just need to vent... Cancer

As some of you might know, my mother in law was diagnosed with lung cancer back in February. The cancer has spread to various other parts of her body too. The doctors say they cant cure her, they can only buy her more time, and try to keep her quality of life as good as possible.
She has had radiation therapy, medication and had her first session of chemotherapy last week. So far she's doing pretty well under the circumstances. With a bit of luck we'll have her with us for a couple more years, but everything is so uncertain.

A couple of months ago, we were also told that one of my mother in laws sisters was also diagnosed with cancer, it has also spread throughout her body, and we know she wont last long.

One of my aunts, and the ex-wife of one of my wifes uncles have been in an ongoing struggle with this horrible disease for a few years now, and they both know the end is coming closer fast.

And a few weeks ago, my 88 (89 in 2 months) year old grandmother was diagnosed with a tumor near her stomach. She had surgery today, and as far as I know she's doing ok, but the surgery has been very hard on the old lady.


It's pretty hard on us too. On one side you want to keep up the positive thoughts, and don't think about the inevitable things that are coming. But on the other side, you want to start to say goodbye now it's still possible.
It's just too much. So many people close to me, all at once.

just needed to vent, thanks for reading...

Vent away all you would want. Everyone here has either been there already or will be some day.

Hence, forgive me for offering a bit of advice...

I find that it's a good philosophy to not waste too much time worrying about the problems in life and/or wasting too much energy fretting about death. Once you start down the road it will eventually come to an end, so maybe it's better for everyone to enjoy the ride and try not to mind the bumps too very much.

Never fail to take the time to tell the people that you love, that you really do love them.

Finally, take strength from the kind thoughts of friends.

coop! We are here for you dood. :candle:

I sincerely offer my condolences as well. My mom died of lung cancer a year and a half ago, 14 months after being diagnosed. I can't offer much advice as I think everybody deals with it in their own way and there are times still I don't really do so well. I think it helps to be spiritual and having a supportive family. One thing we did for which I was glad that was in the early months when she was still getting around pretty good, we had lots of family get togethers. Another thing in which a close friend pointed out was to be thankful you'll have time to state your feelings and say your good byes. Her mom died suddenly of a heart attack before her 50th birthday and my friend said she would have given anything to be able to see her and say goodbye before she died.

MayCooper said:

As some of you might know, my mother in law was diagnosed with lung cancer back in February. ...snip....

Click to expand...

Man, you got it hard - feel sorry for you. We lost my Mom on July 31 to lung cancer - 1 year exactly after her first visit to the oncologist.

Dad is battling both prostate cancer and skin cancer right now

Sigh

I'll keep you and your family in my prayers. I used to work in the Intensive Care Unit and it is always important to communicate your feeling with those that are going through the illness. One of the biggest regrets people have told me they experience is not saying things when they had the chance. It is difficult but it helps the entire process.

:candle: for you and your family, May.

We just lost a family member to cancer a week or so ago.

:candle:

I hear ya.

I lost one of my favorite uncles to lung cancer 2 and a half years ago.
It's a very serious disease.
And yes, it does often spread.
The chemotherapy is no fun,
even when it does make progress on the cancer.

:candle: Thoughts and prayers to you and all those whose lives have been affected by this terrible disease.

Most definitely thoughts and prayers to you and your family Maycoop

vent away as posted many people have been in your position. I do not know how you feel. I know how I have felt when members of my family have passed on.

will say a prayer for you and maybe you can say one for me.

jim

I know the pain you feel. I lost my mother to lung cancer last year. One of my best friends and mother inlaw died of cancer within the past 2 years. It sucks royaly.

I was lucky to be able to see them at least once a week while the inevitable occurred. And I was extremely blessed to take my Mom to Spain during her brief remission state. Don't fight it, go with the flow and roll with the punches. Your wife will really need you.

Stay strong. Tell them you love them everytime you see them! And if it is truely the end, carry out their final wishes. Let them die with dignity. The hardest thing I have ever done was to instruct the doctor to pull my Mother's life support.

kelmo

Thanks for all the sympathy, advice & prayers. we went to visit the inlaws yesterday, and the post-chemo nausea (did i spell that right?) finally kicked in, so mom in law was a bit grumpy. But we all sat down for a nice dinner. This weekend my father in law is going away for 2 days with some friends. He can really use a little break as he's under a lot of stress too. So I'll be cooking dinner for mom in law on friday. She always loves it when I cook, so lets hope the nausea is gone by then...

Sorry to hear about it all MC. It is a terrible disease in any of its forms. MY wife and her mother were diagnosed with cancer, different types within a month of eaach other, so I know how you feel. Both went through chemo and radiation, and my mother in law had surgery also. It is hard on them and on the family, and it takes a lot of stamina even for the family members who help them through it. I had to sleep in the easy chair (closest thing to her in case she needed something in the night) for a month because the chemo made my wife sick and very sensitive to any movement.

Please know our prayers are with you and your family. The good people here were a big help with all the prayers and best wishes during our time, I hope it helps you a bit also like it did us.

Hello MayCooper,

Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family as well.

I mentioned this thread to my wife and she reminded me of the work of O. Carl Simonton. You may want to pick up a copy of his book "Getting Well Again" and share it with your family.

Tom

My mother beat her first one about 3 years ago. She had a great attitude and came out clean. She finished radiation about 6 weeks ago for two new ones and will go in for a scan in a week or two to find out how well the treatment went. All three are primaries as best as we know. The double whammy radiation this time took a toll on her. The radioligist/oncologist has already told us that she couldn't tolerate chemo and she's big about quality of life vs time. BTW, she's 89.

My GF's mother had breast cancer surgery last week and just got news today that all is well. The nodes that they took away from the site were good. No guarantee that it hasn't spread, but very, very good indications that it hasn't.

The not knowing and waiting is almost as bad as the cancer itself. I wish your family the best.

Cancer runs in my family, too. What a drag. Enjoy every day you have.

I've been cancer free for nearly 5 years now, but I expect it to come back some day. Maybe not tomorrow, maybe not even in 10 years, but I know it's coming back to me. That's life! I know it sucks (and in this case the cure sucks worse than the disease!), but it's quite natural.
I keep blaming Tchernobyl (played in the sandbox after the fallout when I was a little kid - when people didn't know the rain was radioactive because the sovjets didn't admit there was an accident!), but cancer has been among us for a very long time, before we played with radioactive stuff.

Just keep up your strength. You have my best wishes.

And just when you think things cant get worse, one of my wifes uncles is in the hospital awaiting heart surgery. And one of my pet rabbits has an abces on its lower jaw....