Killing!

I have a nephew who is involved in a murder. Him and his buddy strangled and shot a 27 year old woman. You know there just isn't much to say. The thing I think of is the terror the woman had to endure until they killed her. All for some stupid BS. It makes me weep knowing her suffering.
I won't divulge details but it was a terrible crime. He is 23 years old. I'm not asking for sympathy just wanting to vent. Moderators remove if this is against the rules. :shrug: Oh and by the way, I'm a happy go lucky guy but in this case I'm not joking it really happened.

Marnav1, your head must be spinning. This is painful and tragic on so many levels. So many lives damaged. Such senseless cruelty we humans seem capable of. My sympathies to all involved.

Unfortunately if he did this crime I have to agree with you. And please guys lets not turn this thread into this vs that OK? I just don't have too many places to share this. I want to contact her parents and apologize but I don't know how to do it. I feel REALLY BAD about this. Does anybody know can I call the police department to get answers or not? I can't afford to travel there.

im sorry my response came from anger . sorry mods please delete my response i cant figure out how to delete it just edit it. and i cant figure anything else to say.

It's okay raggie, we have to be careful what we say so CPF doesn't get into a problem, you can PM if you like.

its ok it will be better .for me to keep my thoughts to my self but i hope youre higher power helps you get thru this.

MARNAV1 said:

I want to contact her parents and apologize but I don't know how to do it. I feel REALLY BAD about this. Does anybody know can I call the police department to get answers or not? I can't afford to travel there.

Click to expand...

While your heart is in the right place I don't think anything good will come from you apologizing to her family. First off, you didn't kill her. Any apology must come from your cousin. Second, people are funny. You'll likely get the family taking out every negative emotion out on you just because you're related. My advice is not to have any contact whatsoever with the victim's family or friends. You may unwittingly become an object for their vengeance if you do. I don't know whether or not the police department there will give you answers. Probably not since they have no proof you're related just by a phone call.

This is unfortunate for all involved. A young woman is dead. The lives of two young men will be ruined even if they get very lucky and get off scott free. In all likelihood they'll spend the rest of their lives, or at least the rest of the part of their lives that matters, in prison. The families on both sides will obviously suffer forever. My sincerest condolences. IMHO something like this is way worse than even a death in the family. Your cousin and his buddy let everyone who cared about them down in a big way. Self-defense, defense of another, or perhaps survival are about the only excuses there really are for taking another human life. All this suffering for a fleeting moment of passion. I'm so sorry for you. I remember how badly my family felt when one of my cousins was arrested for B&E in the late 1970s. This is orders of magnitude worse.

Yes you are probably right. I haven't told the whole story but when I heard it I had a hard time believing a young womans life was so supposedly cheap. I have cried over her death several times already, I guess thats all I can do at this point.

first of all condolances to the victims family. Very sad indeed to lose a loved one in such a horrible way.

Second, I can't imagine what you must feel like. Someone in your family committing such a crime. I really don't know what I'd do if I were in your shoes. I hope that you and your family will be ok. Keep in mind that you are not responsible for what another adult member of your family does.


just a question (don't answer if you don't want to)... Were you close with that nephew?

Sorry such a terrible thing happened. It must be difficult because many people go through life thinking these kinds of things don't happen to them. Hope everything works out. Sympathies to you, your family and to the family of the victim.

I agree with jtr there's nothing you can do for the relatives..

for me it would be important to find out exactly the reason..

if someone 'just did it' -- I'd have to know why, and what motivated them.

jtr1962 said:

While your heart is in the right place I don't think anything good will come from you apologizing to her family.

Click to expand...

I agree 100%. You might feel better if you do, but the victim's family won't.

Thanks for the feedback everyone.

There are just no good words to say in a situation like this.

This does demonstrate the huge reach of such a terrible thing. Not only is a life taken and that family destroyed, but it hurts many other people almost as much.

Most people never understood why I felt sympathy not just for the Colombine kids families, but for the families of the 2 shooters also.

My condolences also.

Marnav1, blood is thicker than water but YOU did nothing wrong. I completely understand why you feel the way you do but just thought that should be said.

Family to most means unconditional love and support no matter what, that being said my thoughts and prayers go out to all on both sides of this awful tragedy and hope that unconditional love can eventually get all through this, and yes that also includes your nephew, he must pay for what he did ( if he did it) but that doesn't mean he must go it alone.

Maybe have a church service offered to the victims (your family and theirs), and I agree with what jtr explained, don't contact them now since the family is probably going thru a very hard time.

yikes.

that sucks,

yikes.

That horrible, and I'm sorry to hear how badly it's made you feel. Just remember your nephews actions are his responsiblity.

I agree with others that you probably should NOT contact her family. You're not directly involved.

I hope both families get through this. :candle:

Damn! .... Not sure what to say. I doubt your nephew had a good reason for what he did. He basically flushed his Life down the toilet.

When he gets to prison, if he's smart he'll....

Actually, no offense towards you, but I think this is one time I won't help out with good advice. (Nothing against you).