Iraq At A Glance - Hilarious

PeterM

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For those in need of a geography refresher /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif

NAME: Republic of Iraq

KEY FACTS: 437,072 sq km of barren desert wasteland. Sworn enemy of the United States and white people everywhere. Inhabited exclusively by Arabiac terrorists and unsaved Islamoids, who shamelessly conspire to withhold the vast reserves of American oil held hostage deep beneath their worthless nation.

POPULATION: 23,331,985 (July 2001 est.)

RACE: Arabiac/Brown

RELIGION: Our Lord and Savior His Holiness Jesus Christ is not welcome in Iraq. Worship of the moon god Allah is compulsory. Bibles are used routinely by the populace as fireplace logs and toilet paper.

HYGEINE: Like cats, Iraquians bathe primarily in dust, and groom each other's hair with their tongues.

SPORT: There is no football, baseball, basketball or hockey in Iraq. As with most inferior nations, "soccer" is popular, though notably less so than "martyr ball," in which opposing teams of fifteen players compete on their hands and knees to nudge a semi-decayed goat testicle across a scorpion-infested minefield.

GOVERNMENT: Republic. Prime Minister SADDAM Hussein (since 29 May 1994); Deputy Prime Ministers Tariq Mikhail AZIZ (since NA 1979), Hikmat Mizban Ibrahim al-AZZAWI (since 30 July 1999), Ahmad Husayn al-KHUDAYIR (since NA July 2001), and Abd al-Tawab Mullah al-HUWAYSH (since NA July 2001)

GEOGRAPHY: Iraq consists of little more than tens of thousands of square miles of sun-baked dirt mountains, in which reside countless muslamic savages, who engage in ferociously indiscriminate breeding to fill the ranks of Iraq's vast armies of pre-teen terrorists.

FOOD: The dietary staples of Iraq include camel meat, lentils, and yogurt. In addition, 53% of Iraquians are practicing cannibals. Stillborn and female infants are routinely barbecued whole and served with turshi, a popular mixture of pickled vegetables.

HISTORY: Present-day Iraq occupies the greater part of the ancient land of Mesopotamia. History tells us that the Mesopotamiacs were ACLU'er practitioners of bestiality, who - millenia before the discovery of the United States by the gentle and pluralistic Christopher Columbus - labored intensively to weave American flags from human hair and tumble weed fibers, and BURN THEM!

ARCHITECTURE: Inspired primarily by the design of Donald Trump's "Taj Mahal" casino in Atlantic City, New Jersey, most Iraquian structures are built of kiln-dried bricks of human excrement, and adorned with the desert-bleached bones of Christian children.

LANGUAGES: English (though they pretend not to understand it), Arabiac

ARTS: Though roughly 75% of Iraquian men are artistically-inclined homosexual types, the country produces no original art of its own. Reproductions of foreign art are popular though - best sellers including Andres Serrano's "**** Christ" and Chris Ofili's elephant dung-smeared "The Holy Virgin Mary."

HOLIDAYS: Public: New Year's Day, Mustard Gas Day (6 January), Al Gore Day (31 March)
Religious: Ascension of the Moon God, Feast of the 10W-40 Geyser, Pontius Pilate Appreciation Day
Highest of the High: September 11th, when the entire country enjoys smug smiles hidden under burkas and filthy beards and secretly celebrates its cunning ingenuity in making the world think that the Saudis, Osama bin Laden and Al Qaeda were responsible for what your President now knows was a 100% Iraqi plot.

ECONOMY: Iraq's economy is dominated by the oil sector, and while a decade-long United Nations embargo has done much to weaken the Iraquian economy, a $73 million deal with the Texas-based Halliburton Corporation has successfully buoyed the country's ambitious doomsday weapons programs.

For photo's & more: Go to The Whitehouse
 

Lurker

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I find the above post racist and disgusting. I hope it is deleted by a moderator.

A fear of the attitude expressed above is why a significant part of the world is opposed to the US's recent initiatives. Actually the US has no quarrel whatsoever with the Iraqi people and no claim on Iraqi oil. This is about enforcing a UN declaration to disarm one very dangerous man. And a possible positive side-effect may be the liberation of the Iraqi people.
 

Quickbeam

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Definately satire.

Main Entry: sat·ire
Pronunciation: 'sa-"tIr
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle French or Latin; Middle French, from Latin satura, satira, perhaps from (lanx) satura dish of mixed ingredients, from feminine of satur well-fed; akin to Latin satis enough -- more at SAD
Date: 1501
1 : a literary work holding up human vices and follies to ridicule or scorn
2 : trenchant wit, irony, or sarcasm used to expose and discredit vice or folly

Among other things, it pokes fun at what people mistakenly perceive to be the culture and level of civilization of the Iraqi people.
 

Max

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I agree with Skyline. The joke, is at the wrong people's expense. Badly aimed satire. Burkas are Afghanistan, not Iraq. Besides, the Iraqi people have enough problems as it is from Saddam Hussein without us needing to heap scorn on them.

Now, a satirical "France At A Glance" -- that I want to read. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/popcorn.gif
 

Quickbeam

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The joke does not "heap scorn" on anyone except those who would percieve that the Iraqi's are accurately represented by the joke itself. It's scorning those who think the Iraqi people are evil, back-assward people who need to be exterminated.

"trenchant wit, irony, or sarcasm used to expose and discredit vice or folly" /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif

http://www.tomveatch.com/else/humor/paper/node30.html
 

Max

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Oh, I see the context now. It's anti-Bush, anti anti-Iraq satire.

I still don't like it.

If you want good satire, I recommend The Onion.

gulf_war_2.jpg

Above: Donald Rumsfeld debriefs reporters on the upcoming Gulf War sequel, scheduled to hit Iraq March 22.


And one of my favorites:
northern_irish_hutus.jpg
 

Quickbeam

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"Northern Irish" ROTFLMAO! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/yellowlaugh.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/yellowlaugh.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/yellowlaugh.gif
 
D

**DONOTDELETE**

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I thought Maplethorpe did "**** Christ" ? maybe something like it..
in either case; /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/yellowlaugh.gif
 

iddibhai

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no offense, but if that's satire, it's pretty darn bad /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/frown.gif
 

Albany Tom

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Well, in the Cafe now we have satire, and we have irony.

The post was satire, of course.
That some knew it was satire, and agreed with parts of it anyway is irony. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif

In any event, I think people in general these days need to lighten up. If you're too worried about being non-offensive, you often exclude the core parts of serious problems, and end up discussing the window dressing.
 

Albany Tom

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[ QUOTE ]
2dogs said:
More, more, more! If this hacks off the PC types then good.

[/ QUOTE ]

That's easy... Pretty much any original thought will p*&* off a PC type.
 

Monsters_Inc

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If it were a satirical "USA at a Glance", would it have been as easily dismissed as a joke?

It's in bad taste, in that it doesn't promote better understanding of the Iraqi people by those already ignorant. You can't go around offending people and hide behind the facade that it's just a joke.
 
D

**DONOTDELETE**

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Bill,
thanks for the correction re: Mapplethorpe..but how can one be mentioned without the other? /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif
I'm always getting the sacrilege mixed up with the homo-eroticism .. sheesh! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/icon3.gif
 

2dogs

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I can, I do, and it is a joke. It is a joke about an enemy of the American people. After the war the Iraqi people will attempt to be our friends while sucking up as much aid (that is money my wife pays in taxes) as possible. In the mean time they are our ENEMY. Joke about them all you want.

The leftist crowd can only joke at the expense of America or George Bush. You will know a tree by the fruit it bears.
 

Greta

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Guess I'll weigh in...

I read this before anyone had a chance to reply. I found it offensive and stupid. I found no humor or satire in it at all... let alone hilarity.

I sat on my hands and did not hit the delete button and I even went so far as to advise the other moderators and administrators to leave it alone.

I find it very disturbing that some here are trying to play this off as a joke. It's not a joke. This was not written tongue in cheek. This was written by an ignorant, hateful person. But hey, even ignorant hateful people have rights in this country.

So that's the only reason I haven't closed this down and deleted it. But I'm close... real close.
 
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