According to most religious beliefs, good people who die go to one or another kind of heaven, where it is presumed they'll eventually meet their loved ones again (the ones who don't end up in hell, anyway) when they die.
So if a religious person loses a loved one the result should be nothing more than an extended stretch of time without them, after which they'll see each other again. Sad, yes, but hardly worth grieving for, especially if one believes in eternal afterlife.
Most atheists, instead, believe there is nothing after life, so a lost person is actually lost forever. That's definitely worth grieving for.
And yet, whenever someone dies, the ones who cry the hardest and suffer the most are always the religious ones, at least in my experience.
I don't get it. The only rational explanation I can come up with is that deep down they fear that what they believe in might, in the end, not actually be true, and they're afraid they've lost their loved one after all. But most of them say their faith is absolute, so I don't know what to think.
I don't want to offend anyone or start flames, mind you, I'm just trying to understand the reasons behind this behaviour.
What do you guys think?
my mother passed away last summer (Sat. 14jul2007 - my father 9yrs earlier). i was there in the ICU as she died. it was ~1440 when she was pronounced.
the next morning, at 0915 i was in meetings at our little Bible chapel, rejoicing in the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ and worshipping Him at the Lord's Supper.
my mother's physical pain was gone. she was "absent from the body and...at home with the Lord" (2Cor 5.8 cf. Phil 1.21, 23). though not being brought up in a religious Jewish home, she, as did i, years earlier, placed our faith and trust in the saving work of Moshiach Yeshua (Messiah Jesus).
did i miss her? sure. i could shed no tears for her blessing - that, would be illogical (as you aptly point out if i understood your Post correctly). i don't indulge in self-pity, and so could shed no tears for my loss. perhaps others could express their sorrow w/tears and it would be appropriate, but for *ME* it would have been self-pity. indeed, while there was sense of loss, there truly was no feeling of sorrow. in my case, from my perspective, how could there be?
self-pity, in this case is quite understandable, IMO, and perhaps the feeling of PRESENT LOSS, ...of things left unsaid, ...of hard feelings NOT made right, etc. cause some, even so-called "religious" persons to reflect too deeply within. is it wrong to do so? for some, like me, perhaps. for others, i would not be swift, myself, to pass any judgment upon their motives or grief - only weep with them who weep and comfort them in their affliction with the comfort wherewith i myself have been comforted of by God (cf. 2Cor 1.3-4).
as the saying goes, "look around and be stressed; look within and be depressed; look up and be blessed!" perhaps, in some (all???) cases, it is simply a matter of FOCUS [i.e., focus of our thoughts and affections of the heart]. but, perhaps this is too simplistic an answer to your query of "why...?" though, undoubtedly, in some cases IMO, it is the correct assessment.
[Note: in some cases, i, personally, don't like the term "religious". though my objection is partially mere semantics in nature. i prefer to speak of God, not in terms of "religion", but in terms of "relationship" - something, which Biblically speaking, God has sought to have with his people from Genesis through Revelation.]
being so-called "religious" should never be misconstrued to be "perfection" - such a state, for some, awaits a future time (cf. 1Jn 3.1-3)
my faith, and more importantly HIS faithfulness, has sustained me through many things, including the loss of my dear mother.
this is my "take", so to speak, on the issue you raised. not sure if anyone else will be able to relate or understand.
however, more important than my opinion on this subject would be the Lord God's opinion as expressed in Psalms 116:15, viz. "Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of His godly ones." from God's perspective, not a time of grief, apparently. personally, i would strive in all things, as much as is possible with His help, to view all things as God views them - obviously, only possible with His help and with a correct understanding of His Word.
well, i need to head out on the road soon. feel free to PM me if this is something that you feel the need to discuss further.
sincerely yours because of HIM,
pj aka half-watt
