What to do with a thief?

Erasmus · Dec 27, 2007

I am a student and the RA (resident's administrator) in a dormitory of 40 students. Since some months we have problems in 2 kitchens, both on the same floor. Each week people come to me to tell me some of their food is stolen. I have made a list of everything that's stolen, looks like someone of us is living for free. I tried to find who's the thief very discreetly, to not disturb the good family-like atmosphere we have with most students living here. I got him and tomorrow morning I'm going to confront him with the watertight proofs I have. Now I want to know your ideas about what to do with him. Most of the victims think I should terminate his contract immediately, but somehow it feels uncomfortable to me and the landlord does not agree either I guess. He's only a 19-year old kid. In my opinion it is better to not tell everyone who the thief is, and make him pay a contribution to the cultural budget (used to give parties and organize trips) about equal to the value of all the stolen food. What do you think about it? Should his contract be terminated? Should everyone know? How to 'punish' him?

Thanks a lot for your help

Erasmus

65535 · Dec 27, 2007

Erasmus said:
I am a student and the RA (resident's administrator) in a dormitory of 40 students. Since some months we have problems in 2 kitchens, both on the same floor. Each week people come to me to tell me some of their food is stolen. I have made a list of everything that's stolen, looks like someone of us is living for free. I tried to find who's the thief very discreetly, to not disturb the good family-like atmosphere we have with most students living here. I got him and tomorrow morning I'm going to confront him with the watertight proofs I have. Now I want to know your ideas about what to do with him. Most of the victims think I should terminate his contract immediately, but somehow it feels uncomfortable to me and the landlord does not agree either I guess. He's only a 19-year old kid. In my opinion it is better to not tell everyone who the thief is, and make him pay a contribution to the cultural budget (used to give parties and organize trips) about equal to the value of all the stolen food. What do you think about it? Should his contract be terminated? Should everyone know? How to 'punish' him?

Thanks a lot for your help

Erasmus

I would say approach him from the side of him not having enough money to support himself (be it poor choices or otherwise) and see what his reasoning might be, obviously robbery should not be tolerate, but circumstances could play some role, you'll have to be the judge, depending on his tone of the matter an immediate cancellation of his contract may be the correct route to go. Just out of curiosity, how much food did he steal? If it was just snacks I wouldn't be to concerned on the other hand, if he was stealing steak and lobster dinners, I would wave any rights you might deem him worthy of.

AlexGT · Dec 27, 2007

Stealing is stealing, now it's food, after he gets tired or fat he will probably go for Ipod's laptop's, clothes etc. You have to draw a line somewhere.

Erasmus · Dec 27, 2007

65535 said:
I would say approach him from the side of him not having enough money to support himself (be it poor choices or otherwise) and see what his reasoning might be, obviously robbery should not be tolerate, but circumstances could play some role, you'll have to be the judge, depending on his tone of the matter an immediate cancellation of his contract may be the correct route to go. Just out of curiosity, how much food did he steal? If it was just snacks I wouldn't be to concerned on the other hand, if he was stealing steak and lobster dinners, I would wave any rights you might deem him worthy of.

Well last week his mother picked him up in a nice Mercedes, I don't think he's a poor kid but I'll ask him anyway, good idea by the way, thanks!

I don't think you will see lobster or steak dinners over here, we're just students and most of us have to live on a budget, or don't mind much about good food. He mainly stole microwave or oven meals like pasta, pizza, rice dishes. And one of our Czech residents brought some special meat from his home to share with all of us, that was also stolen. Plus a lot of different drinks and so on.

Lightraven · Dec 27, 2007

On a small law enforcement team, one of my crazier coworkers, who is now an NCIS Special Agent, would take anybody's food or lunch out of the refrigerator and eat it. Everybody grumbled (and would threaten to bring disgusting "bait" food for him to consume to teach him a lesson) but it was more of a running joke. You just couldn't leave your lunch in the refrigerator unguarded.

Edit to add: Threats to bring bait food were understood by all as jokes, and even then, I don't remember any specific jokes about drugs, just unappetizing food. I left Sara Lee chocolate cheesecake bites in the fridge that I couldn't stand and told my coworkers they could take what they wanted. Nobody touched them.

this_is_nascar · Dec 27, 2007

Don't take this the wrong way, but throw his a** out. A thief is a thief and can not be trusted, just like a liar. As he's on his way out the door, give the opportunity to the folks effected, by telling them "here's the a**hole who stole your food". Let them "assist" in walking his sorry a** out the door.

Dantor · Dec 27, 2007

Who will trust him in the future? (even you) word always gets out; and if something else comes up missing, who will be blamed first? whether innocent or not.

If you have solid proof, their are consequences in our actions, termination is one.

carbine15 · Dec 27, 2007

Listen to his side of the story. Maybe he's not clear on what's up for grabs, maybe he doesn't care. My guess is that he'll lie to you to try to cover his ***, at which point you show him the door.

NeonLights · Dec 27, 2007

I'm one for giving secind chances, especially on something as small scale as food in a community fridge. I'd suggest confronting him with the evidence, let him know if he wants to stay he is to make restitution in a timely manner (one week max maybe), and is never to do it again, or he is out the door.

chibato · Dec 27, 2007

carbine15 said:
Listen to his side of the story. Maybe he's not clear on what's up for grabs, maybe he doesn't care. My guess is that he'll lie to you to try to cover his ***, at which point you show him the door.

+1. First the benefit of the doubt, but once he lies...:banned:!

monkeyboy · Dec 27, 2007

I don't think the issue is as black and white as; "stealing is stealing". There is a big difference between taking someone's can of coke and stealing a laptop. If he's only stealing a little food every now and again, then perhaps you could just give him a chance to replace the food that was stolen. On the other hand if he just steals because he can't be bothered to buy his own food then he should be kicked out straight away. He may seem young to you but this is not acceptable behaviour from a 19 year old.

mossyoak · Dec 27, 2007

guys, you have obviously never lived in a dorm, food is purchased typically by the parents, with the expectation of everyone eating it. eating others food isnt like stealing a car. ive come back to the dorm after a weekend at home to find my pantry completely cleaned out, and all my coffee pods used. you just have to laugh it off, ive also ate others food when i was to hungry to wait on pizza delivery, its like a big family in a dorm.

also RA is Residents Assistant. or Resident ***., as we called them

BB · Dec 27, 2007

Think of the downside if this is not out in the open and fixed... It will probably destroy the current atmosphere of the house.

Trying to give the guy any other way out that lets him avoid responsibilities will probably, in the end, reflect badly on you... Along the lines of "Eramus covered up for XYZ because they were friends, Eramus called XYZ a crook because he hated XYZ, Eramus lied about XYZ--just talk with XYZ's friends, Eramus is a jerk making a federal case out of poor XYZ, etc...

You need to meet and show the information to at least, a few of the others (the person who is legally responsible for the dorms, administrator, local student reps, etc.) and try to not be the judge, jury, and executioner.

As an RA, what you can do "properly" depends on your responsibility and how well you are supported by the "upper management" types. I am sure that if it gets ugly, you would be hung out to dry in almost any university (PC) environment.

-Bill

Coop · Dec 27, 2007

The guy is a thief, make him pay for the food and/or break his kneecaps... did I say that out loud? I meant kick him out...

If someone ate my food and I found out, they'd have a serious problem... But then again, it's a known fact that it's a bad idea to mess with a fat kids food.... :grin2:

this_is_nascar · Dec 27, 2007

I know it's your opinion and you're entitled to that, but you "give him a 2nd chance" guys have me floored. I really don't know what else to say without blowing my flippin' lid, so I should probably hit enter and submit this message and stop typing.

TedTheLed · Dec 27, 2007

had that problem in the dorm at college, nothing a little Ipecac couldn't handle.
soon enough the spewing vomit revealed the guilty party..and reformed her behavior too! all in one little bottle :thumbsup:

(she tried to get me in trouble, but, nothing..)

iced_theater · Dec 27, 2007

We have a guy like that at my job. He isn't poor by any means, he's just extremely cheap. The fact that he's dumpster dived for pizza in front of another fellow co-worker proves that.

There's been a couple instances where someone else would take his food to prove a point and he would nearly lose it.

InTheDark · Dec 27, 2007

IF you have ABSOLUTE proof that he is the thief, then identify him to everyone else and let them determine what to do. A trial by his peers. After all, it was their stuff that was stolen, not yours, they should have a say in the punishment. If he's 19, then he's an adult, and should know right from wrong. I'm assuming everyone else is of similar age? Then they're old enough to handle this on their own.

By giving him a second chance, what kind of message is that sending to everyone else?

TOOCOOL · Dec 27, 2007

A thief is a thief get rid of him :poke:

JimmyM · Dec 27, 2007

Removed per admin's recommendation

What to do with a thief?

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