Recommending a computer for others

Yeah, it happened again.

My father in law called me asked my opinion on his computer purchase.
If the person were not him, I wouldn't hesitate much though, I told him I will call him back.

I told my wife, "I don't want to do this."
The wife said, "honey. I know. just tell him what you think and be done with it."

It's his style. He asks and listens all the time, but never takes what others said seriously. He takes whatever he think is cool regardless what others said. Doesn't matter if you're one of the world best guy who knows the stuff. Whatever great opinion you gave, it will go down to drain. All other family members knew it.

Anyway, I took my time, gave him my best and the honest recommendation that works very well for his purpose within his budget. Honestly, I really hoped him listen to me at this time, becasue I don't like to see my family getting a crap by paying king's ransum.

So, what he ordered?
He paid kings ransum for the computer I would never buy at that price.

Well.. I felt kinda sad and ignored.
But, its ok. I don't use that. I don't pay for that. I don't have to take any responsibility for that. That's his choice after all.

That's pretty much just how it works; my mother uses the computer a few minutes a day to read e-mails and do the occasional look-something-up, so when she needed a new PC, rather than ask my advice she got a $1200 Quad Core.. It's a bit like hauling a push mower with a semi, but at least now that computer problem is taken care of for years to come..

seaside said:

But, its ok. I don't use that. I don't pay for that. I don't have to take any responsibility for that. That's his choice after all.

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But you'll probably be the first one he calls when something goes wrong with it.

I've been there, done that as far as having advice ignored. In fact, more often than not that's what happens. People who have made up their minds already ask me for advice. And then despite me mentioning the pitfalls of what they want to do, they go ahead and do it anyway, perhaps just to spite me if I gave them an earfull about the pitfalls of what they were planning. Or maybe they wanted to show me up, and say hey, it worked even though you said it never would. Now you might think not my problem any more, except then sometimes I get asked for "tech support" anyway when things inevitably go bad. And of course such help must be immediate, meaning they expect me to drop everything I'm doing just to help them. I usually politely decline to help at that point on the grounds that they wouldn't be in the spot they're in if they had listened to me in the first place. Their failure to plan or to listen to my advice shouldn't become my emergency. I remember someone who kept picking up spyware and other junk. After cleaning out their system about 3 or 4 times, only to find it even worse than it was before next time around, I gave up. They had obviously not taken my advice to not download music from questionable sites, and to avoid clicking on spam email links to porno sites. Not to mention doing probably 15 other things I advised against. And then each time I undid the mess they made, they played the innocent "but I have no idea how this stuff got here" routine. Funny thing is the folders full of mp3s and porno told me otherwise.

Sometimes I question the value of giving advice at all, even when others ask for it. Often they don't want advice, but rather simply an affirmation that what they plan to do anyway is OK.

jtr1962 said:

Sometimes I question the value of giving advice at all, even when others ask for it. Often they don't want advice, but rather simply an affirmation that what they plan to do anyway is OK.

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Holy Jesus, jtr1962. You met him before?
He's been doing exactly the same thing.

I feel the same way you do too.
What they want could be affirmation or advocation, not recommendation or advice.
It could be us that's giving them something they don't need to hear.

Whenever I told him not to do, he does. After I wiped hundreds of viruses and adwares out of his computer, I printed out a not-to-do list for him. His computer messed up the next day, and as you've been there, I found he did every single thing in that list right after i left his place. Looks like he thought he can deny what he did if he hides icons from the screen, but he can not hide it from me.

I shouldn't have given him not-to-do list at the first place. Looks like the list triggered his curious mind, and my warning was not strong enough for him stay away from those sites. And what the heck, he knew there's a backup (which is me) if something goes wrong.

I can understand ignoring my advice one or two times, out of their curiosity. But it being meaningless because I am there for them is not. I hate to think this way though, I could be the reason why they play like that.

From now on, I will be extremely busy reading this site, when their computer goes . Someone else can fix it for them. He can call you if I am not available. So what's your number again?

My Father in Law used to ask my advice then make the wrong choise. It took years but now he listens to me and takes my advice. It is just the nature of some people to ask then disreguard. I have another family member that is constantly using me for tech support. Then after fixing his computer he does what he pleases and gets right back in a jam. That is real annoying. Finally at a large family gathering he decided to make me Mr. Fixit again. He asked his question on how to fix his computer. My response to him was "Do what i've told you a hundred times, stay off the porn sites". That cause a collective sucking in of breath from the whole family. He was squirming like a worm. The best part is he hasn't asked for my help again. And the truth be known. I have no idea if he surfs the porn or not.

seaside said:

Holy Jesus, jtr1962. You met him before?
He's been doing exactly the same thing.

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Actually, it's a family member, actually two family members (my brother-in-law and my niece) but our stories are so exactly alike it's eerie. Funny how these things are usually family.

From now on, I will be extremely busy reading this site, when their computer goes . Someone else can fix it for them. He can call you if I am not available. So what's your number again?

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Nah, I'll be too busy playing Train Simulator.

gorn said:

He asked his question on how to fix his computer. My response to him was "Do what i've told you a hundred times, stay off the porn sites".

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I almost fell out of my chair laughing. Great comeback line! :twothumbs

So he received his new computer

And he called me to show me what he got.
When I got there, there's a slim computer. I was like "WTH...so slim computer is what he wanted? Why he haven't told me of that?"
I asked him why he choose this over my recommendation.

The CPU is better than i7 thingy you said. It has better VGA. 9500GS is higher model number than what was that? 4870? Highter number means better part. And it has high-def audio in it. Is yours high-def too? He said.

Uh oh... This is clear victory of intel numbering system. Marketing wins again. I can't beat that.

Everything is clear now. He played the same game, that is checking me out if I agree on what he already set his mind on. It was foolish of me giving him my honest opinion for the best out of his budget. That never was what he wanted. By doing that, I become a disagreeing SOB to him. I should've given all the flatteries he ever wanted and let him waste his money for craps... to be a good son in law.

Well... It's all good because he will be able to enjoy internet porn with HIGH-DEF screams.