With April fast approaching, my mind begins moving towards the start of BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking sport, as it's the only type of cooking a real man will do, probably because of the significant element of danger involved.
When a man volunteers to do the Barbeque, usually on a Saturday or Sunday, the following chain of events are put into motion:
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1) The woman buys the food.
2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert, etc. etc.
3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils, seasonings, and sauces, and takes it to the man who is pensively lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.
Now here comes the important part:
4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.
5) More routine....the woman noticeably glances at her watch, then dutifully wanders back inside, taking the meat tray to wash it off.
6) The woman goes about organizing the plates, glasses, cutlery, napkins, chairs, etc.
7) The woman comes out to supposedly present a clean meat tray, and suggests that the meat may be done.
Rolling his eyes, he thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.
Next important part:
8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.
9) More routine things continue....the woman does final adjustments to table arrangements, brings meat, beers, sauces, and other foods to the table.
10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes, while the man discusses important issues over more beers with guests.
And most important of all:
11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off."
Upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women....2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert, etc. etc.
3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils, seasonings, and sauces, and takes it to the man who is pensively lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.
Now here comes the important part:
4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.
5) More routine....the woman noticeably glances at her watch, then dutifully wanders back inside, taking the meat tray to wash it off.
6) The woman goes about organizing the plates, glasses, cutlery, napkins, chairs, etc.
7) The woman comes out to supposedly present a clean meat tray, and suggests that the meat may be done.
Rolling his eyes, he thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.
Next important part:
8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.
9) More routine things continue....the woman does final adjustments to table arrangements, brings meat, beers, sauces, and other foods to the table.
10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes, while the man discusses important issues over more beers with guests.
And most important of all:
11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off."
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