PK ~vs~ Chuck Norris

angelofwar · Apr 4, 2011

Allright...let's here all your best one-liners telling how much a bad-arse Paul Kim is compared to Chuck Norris...and give some props to the father of the modern flashlight as we know it.

EDIT: For those that don't know who Paul Kim is, he is SF's lead engineer, and designs most, if not all, of their lights. He has about 40 patents on flashlights dating back to the 80's, and many of his ideas are seen on just about every modern flashlight, in one form or another.

For those that don't know who Chuck Norris, ask Paul Kim!

-Paul Kim is so bad-ar$$, he eats CR123's for breakfast (so do his early flashlights :ohgeez:

)...this of course isn't a problem, since his stomach is lined in Type-III HA.

-PK is such a bad-a$$, he can melt a DX light just by looking at it.

-PK's is such a bad a$$, he can accurately tell you the lux, lumens, and throw of a light, just by looking at the design.

-The Beast prototype was originally called "The Paul Kim", but they changed the name at the last minute, to correctly reflect the engineer that designed it.

-Chuck Norris went to Shot Show one time, but left immediatley, once he found out Paul Kim was there.

Let's hear some orginal one-liners...be creative and funny!

Larbo · Apr 4, 2011

Who is Paul Kim?.....

Kestrel · Apr 4, 2011

Who is Chuck Norris?

Kestrel · Apr 4, 2011

angelofwar said:
...and give some props to the father of the modern flashlight as we know it.

Pics are worth a thousand words:

The PK- Universal Handle

Kiessling said:

srfreddy · Apr 4, 2011

paul kim is so awesome, he doesn't need lumens.

angelofwar · Apr 4, 2011

Kestrel said:
Pics are worth a thousand words:

The PK- Universal Handle

These were orignally designed for the Egyptian Sun God, Ra, to blind his enenmies in battle prior to dispatching of them; but after seeing PK's first flashlight, Ra became jeaulous, and proceeded to mock him. Ra hasn't been seen or heard from in 2500 years.

276 · Apr 4, 2011

I haven't seen that PK Universal Handle in along time, almost forgot about it.

angelofwar · Apr 5, 2011

Larbo said:
Who is Paul Kim?.....

BANNED!!! LOL!

Meganoggin · Apr 5, 2011

- And the Lord said 'let there be light' and PK sorted it out for him!

angelofwar · Apr 5, 2011

Nice Mega Noggin'!

Chuck Norris was caught in a black-out in a local mall in L.A. one-time. He politely asked the Mall Cop for his 4D M@g-Light. After refusing, Chuck round-housed the Mall Cop and took it anyway. PK promptly round-house kicked Chuck Norris from behind, and replaced it with a 6P. Realizing his mistake, Chuck Norris has carried an EDC ever since.

PCC · Apr 5, 2011

Meganoggin said:
- And the Lord said 'let there be light' and PK sorted it out for him!

No, no, no, the Bible's got it all wrong. It should have read, "And the Lord said 'let there be Paul Kim'", but, the translaters mistook that to mean "light".

Biker Bear · Apr 5, 2011

"Mifune" is Japanese for "Badass"

Hrmf. I'm totally over Chuck Norris - who is a whimpering babe next to Toshiro Mifune!

Toshiro Mifune facts (feel free to try to add your own):

1. Mt. Fuji was formed when Toshiro Mifune piled up all the bodies of his enemies.

2. The attacks on Pearl Harbor were not Toshiro Mifune's idea. If they had been, the plans would have only consisted of Toshiro Mifune cutting the tops off the Hawaiian volcanoes.

3. Toshiro Mifune loves corrupt military regimes -- he eats one for breakfast every morning.

4. What you call 'orbit' is actually the force of Toshiro Mifune's charisma drawing objects closer at the same time as he intimidates them away.

5. You do not have a girlfriend, you have a woman Toshiro Mifune hasn't met yet.

6. Jail is where they put criminals to be safe from Toshiro Mifune.

7. All truly evil people in the world have already been cut in half by Toshiro Mifune -- it was just such a clean slice that they haven't noticed yet.

8. Toshiro Mifune does not sleep, he graciously gives the world time to recover.

9. Toshiro Mifune is so fast, people have yet to notice we're not born bald, or Toshiro Mifune's hobby of shaving the scalps of newborn babies.

10. Japan needs no nuclear weapons, Japan has Toshiro Mifune.

11. Horse tranquilizers were actually first made to slow Toshiro Mifune down so Akira Kurosawa could catch him on film.

12. Toshiro Mifune's dojo is in the Bermuda Triangle -- mystery solved.

13. Toshiro Mifune invented sushi after a great white shark tried to attack him.

14. An attack on Toshiro Mifune is considered 'assisted suicide'.

15. Toshiro Mifune needs no blender to prepare his smoothies.

16. If you see a video tape of Toshiro Mifune angry, you will die in seven days (note -- you are safe to watch movies that have Toshiro Mifune, he was only ACTING like he was angry).

17. When things travel fast enough to break the sound barrier, the sonic boom is actually Toshiro Mifune grunting in approval.

18. Japan never had an emperor, that was actually just Toshiro Mifune's personal assistants.

19. Toshiro Mifune has had only one pet his entire life -- perhaps you have heard of it: Godzilla.

20. The power rangers are actually just piloting Toshiro Mifune's childhood toys.

21. Toshiro Mifune will cut you so bad -- your tombstone will split in two after they bury you.

22. Only blood would dare to rain on Toshiro Mifune.

23. All the world's confetti was made when Toshiro Mifune was attacked by a forest.

24. There was no Big Bang, that was when Toshiro Mifune hatched.

25. Contrary to belief, the word 'Justice' came from the name of Toshiro Mifune's sword.

26. Dinosaur meat tasted good to Toshiro Mifune; 'nuff said.

27. All nails come from when Toshiro Mifune takes a ****.

28. Toshiro Mifune makes his tea by first chopping the water from the tea leaves, then boiling the water with an angry stare.

29. Toshiro Mifune's blade can occupy the same quantum space as other matter.

30. There are no real pine trees -- only oak trees that Toshiro Mifune practiced his billion-leaf-cuts technique on.

31. The word 'bullet' is actually the Babylonian word for when Toshiro Mifune pokes you.

32. All heavy metal music is the accumulation of musicians trying to emulate the sound of Toshiro Mifune sharpening his blades with his teeth.

33. Technically, Toshiro Mifune does not cut anything -- reality simply gives way to his sword.

34. There is no Global Warming. It is simply the heat simmering from Toshiro Mifune's rage at your polluting/non-recycling bullshit. Seriously, ride a bike or carpool to work before he kills us all.

35. Taco Bell gets all their shredded fixings from driving animals and produce trucks through Toshiro Mifune's driveway.

36. Stonehenge was formed when a meteorite almost fell on Toshiro Mifune's head.

37. All steel is the product of the world's iron ore being fed to Toshiro Mifune... I'll skip the details.

38. The world's first samurai were actually the sperm of Toshiro Mifune.

39. Lightning is just God's way of warning you where Toshiro Mifune is.

40. Toshiro Mifune has only three settings: drunk, disapprove, dismember.

Also -- Toshiro Mifune is not dead, he is just lying in wait for an opponent who is good enough.

gswitter · Apr 6, 2011

Re: "Mifune" is Japanese for "Badass"

Jean Claude is feeling left out.

LEDninja · Apr 6, 2011

Re: "Mifune" is Japanese for "Badass"

Larbo said:
Who is Paul Kim?.....

This is Paul Kim:

angelofwar · Apr 6, 2011

Re: "Mifune" is Japanese for "Badass"

Jean Claude Van Damme once criticized PK for merely being a "Flashlight Engineer"...the key word being "once", as PK promptly blinded him with his prototype L5 and served him a round-house kick to the NECK and face (hence the bloody nose). Chuck Norris tried to intervene on Jean Claude's behalf. He then had to resort to filming Walker Texas Ranger for the next few years due to the injuries sustained during the encounter. Jean Claude no longer makes movies, having suffered permanent eye and neck damage.

jch79 · Apr 6, 2011

Larbo said:
Who is Paul Kim?.....

oo:

fisk-king · Apr 6, 2011

Re: "Mifune" is Japanese for "Badass"

gswitter said:
Jean Claude is feeling left out.

Awesome.

Paul Kim was at a rock concert years ago. No one attending could see the band perform because the spotlight was on him.

dealgrabber2002 · Apr 6, 2011

God created night just for Paul Kim's amusement.

There is no such thing as shooting star; a lighting bug went into Paul Kim's mouth and he spits it back out.

angelofwar · Apr 6, 2011

Black Holes are actually Paul Kims prototype lights that were too powerful for the law of physics. The U.S. Govt/NASA secretly jettisoned them into outer space from Edwards AFB CA, to prevent them from sucking all the energy (light/matter) from the earth.

GLOCK18 · Apr 6, 2011

Didn't Chuck Norris knock out PK with all of the used batteries he saved from his SF light?
:laughing::laughing:

PK ~vs~ Chuck Norris

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