Just venting...My sister is gone...

shankus

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Feb 16, 2003
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Mojave, CA
On the 22nd, a lunatic killed my sister.

I found out this morning, that he had three people hostage in his trailer sitting on his couch, and the two boys ran out the door. He executed my sister, then went out on the porch, and shot one of the boys as well. He is in ICU, but stable. He was hit in the shoulder, in an artery, and was bleeding pretty badly, I understand.
Then the lunatic shot himself in the forehead, saving me the trouble of some prison time.

The shot boy, an 18 year old, went back in to check on my sister. She was breathing, but, shot in the forehead as well. The boy and sis went by helo to the hospital.

I swear, I'm not usually violent, but I would be in Texas now, lying in wait for him if he hadn't snuffed it himself.

I've been fantasizing about the torture I'd put him through. I guess the usual "wisdom" says that this does me no good, but tell me that once you've been here.

This guy had done some time for a killing before, as well.
My sis met him because she did some kind of visiting nurse or hospice thing. She took care of his wife's needs as she was dying a year or two ago. They became friends, and she moved in. She took care of the place, cooked for him, kept the place clean, etc., in exchange for rent.

Last week he hit her in the head with his gun, something about the phone bill, we hear.

The two boys were with her, helping her get her stuff moved out, and that's when this happened.

If the $%&^%&$# had still been in jail, you know? #@%$@#$% !!

Our system of justice is an illusion, and a facade of justice.
I'm disgusted. I'm disappointed, loathful, hurt, furious and I feel a loss.

I'm only venting here. My family is halfway across the country, and I've friends here, but only one visitor so far. Do they stay away because it's awkward for them?
I have emails and phone calls. That's good. But a friends face is better, huh?

My friend Ron came over last night. We talked about other things, and I got my mind off of this. We went out in the yard and shined flashlights around, and "bullshat".
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So, I miss her already. She made me laugh. I value people that make me laugh. She was very straightforward & honest about what she thought, and I admired her for that.

She was actually my niece, my brothers child, but he was 16 when she was born, my parents adopted her, and I was raised with her, she was like my sister.
She turned 24 last month, 13 Aug.

I love her, and I miss her.
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If this is too grim or gruesome, then delete it. The important thing to me, is that I took the time to write it.


faff6b9c.jpg

Amanda
 

raggie33

*the raggedier*
Joined
Aug 11, 2003
Messages
13,546
sir i dont even no what to say that is so sad.sending peacefull thoughts ya way
 

The_LED_Museum

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I'm very sorry to hear this, /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/frown.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/mecry.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/frown.gif and I send peaceful thoughts your way too.
 

x-ray

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Very sorry to hear of your tragic loss, It's hard to find anything helpful to say at times like this.

If you do want to talk I'm sure you have many friends here who will listen.
 

Empath

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Shankus, you'll find that most of us don't know what to say. That's because we can't speak the language that comes only to one during their darkest times. It's a unique language that likely only you possess in this group at this minute, though some of us have known the language at times in our life. Right now, only you can speak it. All we can do is listen. Believe it or not, we can pick out bits and pieces of what you say, and can actually identify with bits and pieces, but not all. The circumstances are alien to us.

Please be understanding as we stumble around looking for something that may make you feel better, yet knowing that we can't. There's our pain. Knowing that we can't.

I won't even begin to act like I'm in a position to advise; how could I be. I think at this time though, if circumstances were the same for me, I'd probably seek an outlet through offered support to all those affected by the tragedy. They are the ones at this time that need it as much as you. But then what do I know. I can only guess.
 

_mike_

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Wa. State
Prayers and thoughts for you and your family.
I too have a sister and would feel exactly as you do.
Sincerely,
Mike
 

Rothrandir

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wow john, that's terrible! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/frown.gif

i can't even imagine what that would be like...

i totally agree, our justice system is completely corrupt! things like this just prove that to be true /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/frown.gif

so you're saying the 2 boys just made a mad dash for it...?
 

js

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Joined
Aug 2, 2003
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Upstate New York
shankus,

My God that is horrible! I am so very sorry . . . so very sorry.

When I was 19 my best friend since 7th grade committed suicide. I was in shock for a long time and no one knew what to say to me or how to help me, and for some reason I couldn't get across to them that even if they just sat in uncomfortable silence with me and didn't know what to say that that was something. That was OK. But they didn't know this and I suffered a double agony: the tradgedy itself, and the isolation that followed in its wake.

I don't know how it is with you, and I, like Empath, feel clumsy giving any advice, but perhaps you could tell your friends that you WANT them to come over, that you don't need space at this time, but support.

My heart and prayers go out to you. I can only imagine how I would feel if I lost my brother or sister in such a brutal and senseless way. I am truly sorry. We do not know each other, but if there is anything I can do or if you just want to talk send me a PM.
 

BF Hammer

Enlightened
Joined
Feb 15, 2003
Messages
481
Location
Wisconsin, USA
Shankus, I am very saddened by your loss. Death of a close family member is always tragic, a murdered family member is doubly so. Grieve for you sister and try not to let anger tear you up inside. Reach out to your remaining family and grieve together, it helps.
 

this_is_nascar

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Messages
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Gloucester, New Jersey
[ QUOTE ]
Empath said:
Shankus, you'll find that most of us don't know what to say. That's because we can't speak the language that comes only to one during their darkest times. It's a unique language that likely only you possess in this group at this minute, though some of us have known the language at times in our life. Right now, only you can speak it. All we can do is listen. Believe it or not, we can pick out bits and pieces of what you say, and can actually identify with bits and pieces, but not all. The circumstances are alien to us.

Please be understanding as we stumble around looking for something that may make you feel better, yet knowing that we can't. There's our pain. Knowing that we can't.

I won't even begin to act like I'm in a position to advise; how could I be. I think at this time though, if circumstances were the same for me, I'd probably seek an outlet through offered support to all those affected by the tragedy. They are the ones at this time that need it as much as you. But then what do I know. I can only guess.

[/ QUOTE ]

I can not express my thoughts any better than Empath just did, so I'll just say... sorry for your loss.
 

James S

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on an island surrounded by reality
I am also so very sorry. You're amoung friends here, feel free to vent or rage or whatever you feel the need to do. Although we can't possibly understand, we understand.

Call your friends and ask them to come. They don't know what you want. I know they will be there if you ask.
 

Saaby

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Utah
Wow. I have nothing to say other than I'm here to hear anything you have to say.

If your family does an obituary feel free to post it here. :speechless:
 

Sigman

* The Arctic Moderator *
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Empath has a way with words. Once again/always you know that we as a "CPF Family" have only but the best positive thoughts and wishes to you and your family!

A women I work with, her husband had a heart attack in bed and passed on. It was very traumatic for her. Indeed many at work didn't know what to say, it was awkward for sure. She asked me why they weren't saying anything - sort of acting "like nothing happened". I told her it was because we didn't know what to say. I have emotions over your situation, though I don't know what to say that would bring comfort.

I will certainly agree about our justice system. It's all we have though. If an individual is indeed proven guilty of a crime that warrants capital punishment, then I still think the punishment should be carried out in public!

You see a one handed man walking around in Iran (or whatever country that practices cutting off hands for stealing) and find out that he got caught stealing...is that a "motivator" not to steal? It sure is for me!

When my father passed, though it wasn't sudden (cancer related - happened about 1 1/2 years after finding out he had it...), it was still traumatic. I still certainly miss him and wish he could see his two grandsons that he never met. But I believe that he's watching somewhere and someday they will meet.

The brain is a terribly complicated organ, so many things, defects, chemical imbalances, etc. cause folks to do stupid things. The "switch" that keeps most of us "normal" just wears out in some folks and they snap. Who knows was happening in the jerks head.

I believe, though it may not be understood now, that there has to be a positive message in your sister's death. A positive message has got to go to someone over it so that she did not die in vain! We may never know who that person or persons are, but that there is a message in her passing to someone! Who knows, it may even be someone here that's not a member, just "lurking" and reading...I do believe in a "Master Plan", but don't know what it is.

I'm babbling, I'm sorry - but want you to know that yes you are family to us and we do care!
 

tsg68

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Breukelen, NY established 1646
Shankus, a few months ago my wife and I lost a friend, a truly generous, gentle, and humorous soul, to domestic violence. They were beaten and stabbed to death and their killer was a 10 year romantic aquaintance who is still at large (possibly abroad too). I can't even begin to tell you how saddened this news makes me, I can only say that these magnificent human beings who are lost to such absolute madness, never truly leave you, that you will remember them at the oddest moments, find yourself thinking about what they would do or say at any given moment or even feel their presence or strength in a time of your own personal crisis, and that is their legacy, to have known them. My deepest and most heartfelt condolences.

TSG
 

shankus

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Joined
Feb 16, 2003
Messages
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Location
Mojave, CA
Guys, thanks.
I appreciate the encouragement. And please believe, it is encouraging.

Empath, you are very eloquent and thoughtful, as always.
I don't want to take away from the other comments at all, All of you guy's words are meaningful to me.

Bart, thanks for the smile. Just a picture (again). A man of few words? /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grinser2.gif


[ QUOTE ]
js said:
...even if they just sat in uncomfortable silence with me and didn't know what to say that that was something. That was OK.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yes, I agree.

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The forum I've found to be a decent aversion, for a couple of days, I've nothing else to do, other than sleep. And I've not been sleeping much.
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Roth, yes, they ran for it. I wish she had as well. Perhaps she would just be hit, and in the hospital too.

If I were there in Texas, I just left about 4 months ago, I would have probably been there with her, getting her stuff.
I have been there a few times.
I wonder what would have happened. I always will, now.


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Your words are not clumsy, guys, they're honest. And how could I ask for anything more...
 
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