Let My Dad Go Today...

After years of illness and suffering, I let my old man slip away this morning. It was the first time I ever actually watched someone take their last breath, and was a very strange experience...it's one of those things that I wish I hadn't witnessed, yet I was very glad I was there when it happened for his sake. I don't know know whether to be happy, or cry my eyes out...

I did this with my Mom in 2009. We moved her in our house for her last days. It's hard but things do get better. It was nice to say good by and her last days was with family. My Dad passed in 2008 he lived alone and died alone, that still haunts me to this day. I wish I had the chance to say that I loved him one last time. Hang in there.

My condolences.

My dad passed away in 2007, two months before my son was born. He was at a care home and he passed away in the night. None of us told our mom, who passed away a few years ago. This time, most of the family was there when she passed. In both cases it was one of the most painful things that I've ever experienced, but, it gets better with time. Almost a year ago one of my brothers passed away and pain in my heart returned again. In time things will get better, I know it.

You have my deepest condolences. Be strong for your family and loved ones. A shoulder to cry on can go a long way.

I found out the other day my oldest aunt was taken off life support, shes on morphine and her last breath.

I just read a post about flashlights to a wedding and this post. The circles of life are just astounding. Communities like this are just as much so. My condolences and best wishes for you. That you find such fraternity and comfort here is humbling. Being a member of this community is a special thing. I'm new here but I feel the love.

Toohotruk said:

After years of illness and suffering, I let my old man slip away this morning. It was the first time I ever actually watched someone take their last breath, and was a very strange experience...it's one of those things that I wish I hadn't witnessed, yet I was very glad I was there when it happened for his sake. I don't know know whether to be happy, or cry my eyes out...

Click to expand...

Our sincere condolences in your time of loss. You will never forget that you were able to be there; in this you are truly blessed.

Toohotruk said:

After years of illness and suffering, I let my old man slip away this morning. It was the first time I ever actually watched someone take their last breath, and was a very strange experience...it's one of those things that I wish I hadn't witnessed, yet I was very glad I was there when it happened for his sake. I don't know know whether to be happy, or cry my eyes out...

Click to expand...

I experienced this in 2005. Its a haunting memory that will be with me until I take my last breath too.

Did this with mom and dad. With mom I was pretty young and it was tough, didn't like seeing dad cry. Dad tho, he was in such pain and his last words essentially were "let me go as quickly as possible", so I did. Buy hey, I hear the worst thing in the world is for a parent to lose a kid and neither of mine did so that's good. You were there for him, that is all you could do and I'm sure it was appreciated.

My prayers are out to you and your family.

My condolences also............... I lost both parents last year along with two uncles and another close friend I had known for 25 years or so. I wasn't there when Dad passed although some of the family was. I knew Mom was going to pass, I had to take a break but I talked to her and told her it was okay to go be with Dad and that we would be alright. But several family members were with her so she wasn't alone. It isn't goodbye, you WILL see them again. As others have said time does make it easier too. Hang in there and cry away if you need to, no shame there. :ironic:

I am sorry for your loss. I lost my mother in 2004. Fortunately we knew about a year in advance of her terminal condition and I was able to spend a lot of quality time with her. And a lot if time at the hospital for various reasons. I shed a lot of tears that year as I watched her health deteriorate. I dont think I have really been able to cry since she died.

Thanks so much to all of you that took the time to post here...it really does help when other people share their experiences.

I am glad I was there when he passed, even though I too will be haunted the rest of my life by the experience of watching, and listening to him gasp for breath. I had always heard about the "death rattle" and now that I've heard it for myself, I pray I never have to again. It was fitting that it was just him and I when he passed...I was always the one sitting alone with him in the countless marathon ER visits over the last few years, being witness to the endless medical horrors that he had to endure. I am really grateful that he is gone...in a way, I feel the weight of the world has left my shoulders. I no longer have to worry about him, or be stressed out, fighting with doctors, insurance companies, and Social Security. But I will REALLY miss him, life isn't going to be the same without him.

My condolences go out to those of you that have had to deal with similar circumstances, and losing those that are close to you. Once again, I really do appreciate your support. lovecpf

So sorry for your loss

My condolences, I lost my mom in 2004 due to illness and I know how you feel.
My prayers are out to you and your family.

I'm so sorry for your loss, Toohotruk. But those words seem so shallow and ineffectual.

I lost my Dad in 1988 after a long, two year stint in hospital, where he had to be after a series of strokes paralyzed him and rendered him almost mute. I think he lived in a dream state for those two years (at least I fervently hope so) and when he slipped away it seemed to us like it was a blessing he didn't go on any longer, such was he a shadow of his former self.

I don't entirely think I came to terms with his death, actually. I have felt sad and I miss him, but I never cried at all, not even at the funeral. Just a kind of melancholic numbness and a feeling of having misplaced something very important and the loss of which impinged upon my daily consciousness without me realizing what it was. Which sounds like what you are going through now.

Many years later me and my wife (she never met him) took our new baby daughter to his graveside and put fresh flowers on it - then I introduced our lovely girl to him. It was a lovely Summer's day and I was with my family who I love more than life and the tears finally came.

Maybe it was just some grit in my eye.

I wish I could have been with him when he died. As others have said you will find great comfort that you were there. Don't rush the grieving or lack of it, it will come when it needs to. Be strong and I wish you all the very best.

So sorry for your loss - the pain doesn't go away, but it becomes more manageable with time.

I believe you will be grateful, later, that you were there. I was.

My condolences to you and your family, Toohotruk. Like many others here I've been in your shoes and know how you feel.

Peace and light,
PW

Sorry to hear that man, I have lost both my parents and was there at the end for both of them. Its a tough thing to go through and something that will always be in your memory, but you'll also always be glad you were there for him.

I've been wondering how you have been getting along since your post about losing your beloved cat during the holidays at almost the same time I lost mine... I'm sure this doesn't make things any easier. The grief never goes away, it just continues to lessen little by little over time. Hang in there, I do know what you are going through and of course you have my sincerest condolences.

I am so sorry for your loss. I too know the feeling of grief. I dropped flowers off at my parents house the night before Mother's Day this year, and I did not expect my father to be calling me Mother's Day morning to tell me that my beloved mother was gone. She was only 67 and this was very unexpected. I just wonder if the pain and heartache will ever ease?

Very sincere condolences. Never know what to say at times like this. I know when my dad died, it really hit me hard for a long time. He was the best man at my wedding to give you an idea of how close we were. I hope you remember all the great things about him, and that the pain you feel is not too great.