My Darling Angel

Last night I lost the best part of my life my darling Sheona passed away.
Sheona suffered from a Liver illness that meant she would need a transplant due to the liver fighting itself and killing it slowly.
My baby went through a lot of pain and procedures and fought every battle with all her might. She is the strongest and bravest person I've ever been graced to meet.
Unfortunately her latest battle was just too much she was a tired girl and she fought as much as she could. My selfishness to keep her was soon outweighed by the love and peacefulness of her leaving.
I'm thankful she waited until I was ready to let her go before she went to sleep. I know she was thinking of me and knew I never left her.
My life and future will never live up to what we had planned and at 24 I shouldn't have to feel as empty as I do. Life is cruel and unfair and unjust.

This has taught me to cherish every waking moment with your loved ones. Take photos, film stupid family gatherings that you can't be arsed going to and make happy memories. Once someone is gone that is all that will be left to fill an empty space in your heart.
It will not make that hole go away but it will help you remember the happy times.

I know my Angel will always guide me through life and keep me safe.
My love for her will last forever as her love for me does too.

Sheona was the kindest and most beautiful girl on the Planet and I'm thankful for our time together.

R.I.P Angel.

I'm so very sorry for your loss, broke my heart reading your story. I can't imagine what it would be like to lose my girl so early.
My deepest condolences, friend.

R.I.P.

CheepSteal said:

I'm so very sorry for your loss, broke my heart reading your story. I can't imagine what it would be like to lose my girl so early.
My deepest condolences, friend.

R.I.P.

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Thanks. I just hope people spend time with their loved ones a little more and tell them how much they mean to them by reading the story.
All the cliches are true.
You can never truly appreciate the precious things in life until they aren't there.

This post brought tears to my eyes. My deepest sympathies to you, friend, in this time of great sadness.

nbp said:

This post brought tears to my eyes. My deepest sympathies to you, friend, in this time of great sadness.

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Thanks bud.
I've made some friends on CPF and the friendly vibe allows people like me to release and vent feelings.

My deepest sympathy and condolences go out to you and yours. May your angel rest in peace.

Words never seem to convey the emotions and meanings they're intended to, but....my sympathies to you and all that were close to her.

:candle:

Prayers for you and your family... :candle:

Sorry to hear acid...I really am speechless...at such a young age...please, hang in there...a prayer coming your way.

I remember going on a "TDY" / business trip with one of my troops...he played the cool guy in front of us all, but he would come and talk to me when he had heart issues to work out...cause he knew I was sincere? Or I actually gave a crap? Dunno, but I was one of the few to see the real him, with all that cool guy stuff stripped away. Came back on Wed's, worked 2 more days with him. Came in, and first thing monday morning, our commander came out to "talk' to us...I'm thinking, "Oh great...some-one got a DUI". So, there we are, all standing in formation, and the first words out of her mouth "Airmen ______ died this morning in a house fire". I thought I was tough...my knees buckled, and I cried like a little girl...

True story. Hope that helps ya work some of the stuff I know you must be going through right now. I'm lucky, and have never lost a family member/loved one before their time...and that's a lot, considering I have six brothers and sisters, and 4 kids myself. Hang in there, and again, sorry for your loss :0(.

my deepest condolences and my prayers with you and all loved ones.

Unfortunately there is almost nothing anyone can say that will make things any easier right now.

I lost my daughter to Leukemia when she was 11 months old. This Dec would be her 17th birthday.

The pain & loss never goes away but it does become manageable in time.

If there is anything I can do don't hesitate to PM me.

OCD said:

Words never seem to convey the emotions and meanings they're intended to, but....my sympathies to you and all that were close to her.

:candle:

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Words mean nothing but the time you took to write it means a lot.

scout24 said:

Prayers for you and your family... :candle:

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Thanks Scout.

angelofwar said:

Sorry to hear acid...I really am speechless...at such a young age...please, hang in there...a prayer coming your way.

I remember going on a "TDY" / business trip with one of my troops...he played the cool guy in front of us all, but he would come and talk to me when he had heart issues to work out...cause he knew I was sincere? Or I actually gave a crap? Dunno, but I was one of the few to see the real him, with all that cool guy stuff stripped away. Came back on Wed's, worked 2 more days with him. Came in, and first thing monday morning, our commander came out to "talk' to us...I'm thinking, "Oh great...some-one got a DUI". So, there we are, all standing in formation, and the first words out of her mouth "Airmen ______ died this morning in a house fire". I thought I was tough...my knees buckled, and I cried like a little girl...

True story. Hope that helps ya work some of the stuff I know you must be going through right now. I'm lucky, and have never lost a family member/loved one before their time...and that's a lot, considering I have six brothers and sisters, and 4 kids myself. Hang in there, and again, sorry for your loss :0(.

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Thanks angelofwar, my angel didn't deserve to go so soon but she had a good life and has enriched my life in so many ways.
All I can say is enjoy every second with all your family. Never regret anything and do everything.

Ny0ng1 said:

my deepest condolences and my prayers with you and all loved ones.

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Thanks Ny0ng1.

Lucem Ferre said:

Unfortunately there is almost nothing anyone can say that will make things any easier right now.

I lost my daughter to Leukemia when she was 11 months old. This Dec would be her 17th birthday.

The pain & loss never goes away but it does become manageable in time.

If there is anything I can do don't hesitate to PM me.

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Thanks Lucem Ferre,
I'm sorry for your loss too. Time will tell how I manage. I really want to make something for myself to make my wee Angel proud but on the other hand I don't want a future without her.

Have been planning the funeral today and last night. In the years I was with Sheona I always refused to talk about her wishes because we were young and I didn't believe the time would come.
It's been really hard being with her family and mine so soon after although we need each other there is the overwhelming pain in us all. I promised Sheona I would look after her family and I know I'll keep that promise forever.

There's part of me that feels guilty I never listened to her about the details but at the same time It's a day more for us to say goodbye.

Her family want Sheona to be cremated but there is a huge part of me that feels doing this means Sheona isn't there anymore. If you get me?
Whereas if she was buried she is still physically here with me but she had a fear of old people and maybe being cremated means I can take her somewhere more peaceful and quiet.

I never anticipated having the feelings I do about this and it's going to be a hard few days.

Thanks for letting me talk again folks.
Steven

I am so sorry for your loss. It broke my heart reading your deep emotions!- clearly you two are one, and she is now watching over you

Your advice regarding photos and the like are so true. I lost my brother to cancer this summer. We all miss him so much, and the photos bring smiles, tears, joy, sorrow, and memories.

My the Lord be with you and your family as you make these difficult decisions. Let your heart guide you - it is your Angel speaking to you

God bless you


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

I really have no idea how or what to say; my wife died on June 25/10 and I can feel your pain because it must be the same. Everyone keeps telling me it will get better but I do wonder when.
Be strong, keep family close.
Take care.
Karl

Acid87 said:

Her family want Sheona to be cremated but there is a huge part of me that feels doing this means Sheona isn't there anymore. If you get me?
Whereas if she was buried she is still physically here with me but she had a fear of old people and maybe being cremated means I can take her somewhere more peaceful and quiet.

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Your child. Your decision. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. It isn't up to the family it is up to you and your wife.

Lucem Ferre said:

Your child. Your decision. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. It isn't up to the family it is up to you and your wife.

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She was not the child, she was his love.




I wanted to tell you too Steven, that I think that it is a beautiful thing that you stuck with her despite these challenges, knowing that this was a possibility. Being that you and I are the same age, I can imagine the plans you had with her, a whole life ahead of you two. Many young people would have bailed, figuring that they would be better off with someone without health problems, that they should be with someone who didn't need so much care, who could do all the things young people do. I personally think that is what a weaker man would do. I am impressed and inspired by your courage and devotion to your girl, even as a young man. Sheona sounds like a very strong woman, and I think that you too are a strong man to stick by her, rather than quitting when the going got tough. You have my respect sir. :candle:

nbp said:

She was not the child, she was his love.

I wanted to tell you too Steven, that I think that it is a beautiful thing that you stuck with her despite these challenges, knowing that this was a possibility. Being that you and I are the same age, I can imagine the plans you had with her, a whole life ahead of you two. Many young people would have bailed, figuring that they would be better off with someone without health problems, that they should be with someone who didn't need so much care, who could do all the things young people do. I personally think that is what a weaker man would do. I am impressed and inspired by your courage and devotion to your girl, even as a young man. Sheona sounds like a very strong woman, and I think that you too are a strong man to stick by her, rather than quitting when the going got tough. You have my respect sir. :candle:

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Thanks NBP,

Never once did I ever even dream of leaving my Sheona.
You have summed up what's so hard in that I had planned my future around the two of us. On the other hand we experienced parts of life some people could never appreciate and we done it together.
Sheona and I achieved so much together and done so many fun things too. All very fond memories and very dear to my heart.
Sheona was so so strong she never let anyone or anything tell her she couldn't do it. I'm so proud of her and what a positive impact she has left behind.

She will always be in my heart.

run4jc said:

I am so sorry for your loss. It broke my heart reading your deep emotions!- clearly you two are one, and she is now watching over you

Your advice regarding photos and the like are so true. I lost my brother to cancer this summer. We all miss him so much, and the photos bring smiles, tears, joy, sorrow, and memories.

My the Lord be with you and your family as you make these difficult decisions. Let your heart guide you - it is your Angel speaking to you

God bless you

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

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Thank you run4jc,
It's strange how one snapshot in your time with a person can hold so much feeling. I have one of Sheona which I've found tonight and she looks amazing. Sheona was naturally beautiful and her eyes are looking right down the camera lens and when I look at it I can't help but feel our love.

savumaki said:

I really have no idea how or what to say; my wife died on June 25/10 and I can feel your pain because it must be the same. Everyone keeps telling me it will get better but I do wonder when.
Be strong, keep family close.
Take care.
Karl

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I feel your pain Karl,
You try and think about life after but it only hurts and it leaves you stuck in the past. It's a strange but comforting feeling which is hard to move on from.
No comfort is ever enough as I'm sure you well know and I'm certain we would do anything for the one last day.

Lucem Ferre said:

Your child. Your decision. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. It isn't up to the family it is up to you and your wife.

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Sorry Fred, I've gotten you mixed up. Sheona was my partner of 7 years. I realise text doesn't convey that idea especially when using baby and wee so often. I'm a young man the same age as my Sheona at 24.
Your help and advice has been really great over the last couple of days buddy. The things you said are so so true.


Thanks Everyone for your support and prayers.
Steven

Acid87 said:

Sorry Fred, I've gotten you mixed up. Sheona was my partner of 7 years. I realise text doesn't convey that idea especially when using baby and wee so often.

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Sorry for the confusion on my part.