Things To Ponder

x-ray

Flashlight Enthusiast
Joined
Jul 1, 2002
Messages
1,941
Location
London
If Jimmie cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

Why do they call it "getting your dog fixed" if afterwards it doesn't work anymore?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?

Why is an alarm clock going "off" when it actually turns on?

Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?

If love is blind, how can we believe in love at first sight?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat?

Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why is it that cargo is transported by ship while a shipment is transported by car?

What's the opposite of opposite?

If you try to fail and succeed, what did you just do?

What do you call male ballerinas?

Where in the nursery rhyme does it say humpty dumpty is an egg?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

Why is it that when a person tells you there's over a million stars in the
universe you believe them, but if someone tells you there's wet paint
somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?

Why do you get on a bus and a train but get into a car?

I know you can be overwhelmed, and I know you can be underwhelmed, but can
you just be whelmed?

Why does Donald Duck wear a towel when he comes out of the shower, when he
doesn't usually wear any pants?

Do one legged ducks swim in circles?

If a cat always lands on its feet, and buttered bread always lands butter
side down, what would happen if you tied buttered bread on top of a cat?

Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?--
 

TrevorNasko

Flashlight Enthusiast
Joined
Jul 23, 2001
Messages
1,500
Location
Atlanta, GA>> The Flashlight that was broken shall
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat?

thats for when you are sick and the toast must be black.


If a cat always lands on its feet, and buttered bread always lands butter
side down, what would happen if you tied buttered bread on top of a cat?

an object that never stops moving.


** Some inappropriate text removed.
 

X-CalBR8

Flashlight Enthusiast
Joined
Apr 14, 2001
Messages
1,098
Location
TN, USA
"I know you can be overwhelmed, and I know you can be underwhelmed, but can you just be whelmed?"

Well, apparently you can. I just looked it up in the dictionary and here was an example of it's usage in this context: It says that you can be "whelmed by misfortune".

There is one down with a definite and provable answer. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif
 

TheBeam

Enlightened
Joined
Jul 18, 2003
Messages
365
Location
Seattle
In the Humpty Dumpty rhyme, it says "all the kings horses and all the kings men couldn't put Humpty back together again".

What made them think that horses could put anything back together?
 

brightnorm

Flashaholic
Joined
Oct 13, 2001
Messages
7,160
What do you do if you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

Brightnorm
 

Stanley

Flashlight Enthusiast
Joined
Jul 10, 2003
Messages
1,531
Location
Canberra, Australia
How about...

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif
 

Wits' End

Flashlight Enthusiast
Joined
Nov 27, 2001
Messages
2,327
Location
Remote NEast Minnesota, next to Lake Superior
"As much wood as a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood"

How about-
Even perfection has its limitations. For example, a perfect square can hardly roll.

Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool??

Why is the man who invests your money called a broker??

What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?? (I'll know the answer to this one in 4-8 years would be my guess /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/icon23.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif )
 

KC2IXE

Flashaholic*
Joined
Apr 21, 2001
Messages
2,237
Location
New York City
[ QUOTE ]
Stanley said:
How about...

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

A woodchuck could chuck as much wood as a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood
 

_mike_

Flashlight Enthusiast
Joined
Aug 14, 2003
Messages
1,198
Location
Wa. State
Who was the first person to watch a chicken plop an egg out it's backside and then think it would be a good idea to eat it?

Is it still a compliment if someone tells you that your "one in a million" and you live in China?

Mike /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/thinking.gif
 
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