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Thread: I'm about to become a statistic ... And why you should enjoy every day!

  1. #31

    Default Re: I'm about to become a statistic ... And why you should enjoy every day!

    My current girlfriend is a cancer survivor (15 years so far clean.)

    She cannot have children, part of the deal was a removal of... that.

    http://www.ibtimes.com/medicare-frau...-chemo-1996596
    This is absolutely horrible, I'm highly surprised nobody "did something" to that guy. 175 years is a slap on the wrist for what he's done.

    In the middle ages, it was solid advice to stay away from doctors and hospitals. I truly hate each example I see day-to-day that even implies that this would be valid in the 21st century.

    The Oath of Hippocrates is not hypocracy. It's life and death. Grrr!

    Anyway, Martin, totally glad things are going well. Get that MMJ and tell cancer that it is a little 6 yo girl fighting Mike Tyson (or that Mayweather punk.)
    Last edited by more_vampires; 07-11-2015 at 11:36 AM.

  2. #32
    Flashaholic* bdogps's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm about to become a statistic ... And why you should enjoy every day!

    You should read this book called "super freakonomics" it
    has a great chapter on this very subject you are talking about.

  3. #33
    Flashaholic* martinaee's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm about to become a statistic ... And why you should enjoy every day!

    Yeah. Humans are NOT all the same. I understand the basic human urge to take things when you have no resources/money/help and are desperate, but I can't even begin to understand the mind of somebody who is willing to literally poison hundreds upon hundreds of people just to make more money. And I'm assuming he wasn't "poor" to begin with I mean he was an established practicing doctor. Just so disgusting.

    When I read that article I was thinking really? Of course I'd have to read this right now... lol . But everybody at the main Cleveland Clinic campus is super awesome and professional. And multiple specialists saw my CT scan so no shenanigans for my case lol. I kind of don't understand how this doctor got away with having people go through chemo without the patients going to other specialists and what not. Surely much earlier along the line somebody would have wondered about biopsy surgeries, etc. and noticed this guy was full of *@#%?

  4. #34

    Default Re: I'm about to become a statistic ... And why you should enjoy every day!

    ...I feel that the information age has contributed to this greatly.

    The medical slang term: "Quack."

    It is from the old word, quacksalber, an archaic name for elemental mercury. Once upon a time, docs thought it was a great idea to dose people with this. Related term: "mad as a hatter." Yeah.

    Drinking liquid mercury is no treatment for the bubonic plague, third stage syphilis, or trying to have a stylish hat.

    With today's communication, the "quacks" don't last as long as they used to before public humiliation and possibly jail time.

    It's a little like people highly recommending Ultrafire counterfeit batteries on CPF. Won't take long.

  5. #35

    Default Re: I'm about to become a statistic ... And why you should enjoy every day!

    Hey, you're NOT "being a baby" about it. We all have the "why me?" reaction when faced with something like this. We "up our capacity" for crap when this happens & we realize what's really important in life & we stop sweating the small stuff. Seven years ago, I had similar thoughts when I found out I had diabetes. Life went from "simple" to "complicated."

  6. #36

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    Default Re: I'm about to become a statistic ... And why you should enjoy every day!

    Quote Originally Posted by martinaee View Post
    Oh this is awesome. Maybe some of you heard about this story. Such good timing for me to read.... *rolls eyes* I think I read it either the day before surgery or the day I came back. Apparently a doctor somewhere ordered chemo for over 500 people who didn't need it just to make more money ... I've heard of some messed up stuff, but that's probably one of the most *@#*%* recently. That's beyond depraved.

    http://www.ibtimes.com/medicare-frau...-chemo-1996596
    Small world. I have a stop every day in a lab at a hospital...they told me about this fraud months ago. They were really upset...the lab techs had worked with that doctor on occasion, and were VERY angry and saddened that the doctor had made them part of the fraud. Part of the reason he was able to get away with it for so long is that he was substituting blood-work and other tests from patients who really did need chemo...so another doctor looking at the test would agree that the treatment was necessary. The fraud was intentional and malicious...it wasn't a matter of simple neglect or carelessness.

    Being informed and seeking a second opinion if you have any doubts goes a very long way to preventing these kinds of abuses. It seems like you are tackling this process head-on, educating yourself, and staying positive. All that will help you immensely!

  7. #37
    Flashaholic* martinaee's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm about to become a statistic ... And why you should enjoy every day!

    Yeah. I mean I'm not really worried about something like that happening. People THAT evil can't be that common. But still I guess maybe I could have another oncologist look at results and see if I get matching opinions on what kind of treatment regimens I should get.

  8. #38

    Default Re: I'm about to become a statistic ... And why you should enjoy every day!

    Quote Originally Posted by AA#5 View Post
    Seven years ago, I had similar thoughts when I found out I had diabetes. Life went from "simple" to "complicated."
    The hard core Paleo diet is very much like learning how to be a diabetic. Lost 61 pounds (as of July 2015) and feel absolutely awesome.

    Diabetic diet has very much to do with a Paleo concept called "glycemic index." It's supposed to heavily influence your dietary choices.

    Dinner tonight? Low carb whole wheat wrap with baby spinach lining with baked julienne sweet potato, chicken, kielbasa, and sauteed onion. Dessert last night was a medium rare ribeye! My girlfriend absolutely loved it! She converted to Paleo, as well. The main problem is that she just didn't have time to study it properly.

    Everything I know makes me less worried about cancer and diabetes with this diet!!
    Last edited by more_vampires; 07-12-2015 at 01:26 PM.

  9. #39
    Flashaholic* martinaee's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm about to become a statistic ... And why you should enjoy every day!

    All righty.. well it's Monday 7/20 and things are moving along just dandily... (I type that with a dry and sarcastic, but optimistic smile on my face).

    So I have a type of Hodgkin's Lymphoma. Still strange because I don't feel drastically or classically *sick* outwardly yet besides seemingly being more tired/getting more tired more quickly and maybe starting to feel a little pain in my chest when I breath really deeply, but I guess there is at least one big happy little tumor growing in my chest and it's probably in lymphocytes and lymph nodes in other places. I'll find out about that. Apparently its not nearly as common as a lot of other cancers overall, but that doesn't really matter. This seems to be fairly straightforward as far as this type of cancer goes, but I can't help but be scared *%#-less when it comes to the terms "mortality" and "long-term-survival" just like anybody always is concerning cancer. Day by day I guess.

    So today was my first actual appointment in the cancer center at the Cleveland Clinic. I also had a PET scan done. I have the pleasure of having a bone marrow biopsy done on Thursday as well. There is a slight chance in 2-3% of cases that the cancer can sometimes be in bone marrow which I guess they can't see with PET scans. Sounds scary, but I think it won't be that bad. I'm already becoming way more accepting of procedures than I would have been before. I hope that doesn't hurt too much though. Ugh... They said they numb the heck out of the area then use a drill that sounds like a dentist's drill to go into the bone towards the back of my pelvis and extract a sample of bone marrow. AREN'T ALL THE NEEDLES ENOUGH ALREADY... NOW YOU HAVE TO DRILL INTO MY BONE ? .... lol ... I won't be asleep for that one so it's probably just going to be a mental thing more than anything. LOL every time somebody in my family inadvertently but not in an ill-meaning way says "no... that will probably hurt... sorry baby" or "It's probably going to be a rough year" I just want to scream "SHAD-UP SHAD-UP SHAD-UP... Just let me do it!!!" LOL I think you kind of just have to put yourself into a "let's do this" game-face kind of mind set and not even think about it too much. It's kind of a weird reality and probably more of a coping mechanism than anything else. I still keep having those weird reality moments where I forget this is real.

    I'll actually start my first chemotherapy next Tuesday. It sounds like I'll be doing 12 sessions where a session is once every 2 weeks. So 6 months or so. I think midway through they check with another PET scan how things are going and whether they need to change/modify treatment based on how the cancer is responding.

    My wife needs a break... she's had painful digestive issues ever since I've known her (her whole life really) and I feel like she never truly has caught a break. I feel so bad though because in a weird way now I'M the one getting sympathy when in reality she should be. We don't know what she has still (it's so hard to pinpoint) and it's the brutally honest truth that people don't give sympathy to something you can't say 100 percent medically what it is. And also to things that society have "deemed" not that big a deal when in reality they have no idea. I've always worried about her and now she has to deal with this on top of everything. We got married on June 5th and were going to take a long road trip if we could but didn't because we didn't want her to be in pain the whole way because she needs a very careful diet. Now this as well a month later. Sometimes I just feel like I want our lives to "start" but there is always something else. I guess this is life right? We're both artistic types and I guess you could probably classify me as the "plastic bag---there's so much beauty in the world" guy from the movie American Beauty, but I think it's harder for her to see things the same way and I don't blame her.

    I know I should be so grateful for all the positivity, amazing medical treatment, and overall support I'm getting through this, but cancer is still b***-s***, It just isn't fair and it weasels it's way into whatever you are doing whether you are a good or bad person, a child or an adult .... I totally *get* the phrase now I wouldn't wish this upon my enemies. I truly hope cancer is actually "cured" long-term in the future. I really can't complain as I know what I have is a "good" cancer compared to what a lot of people have or had. I'll get through this and hopefully what doesn't kill me will only make me stronger. Once I do ... hopefully it doesn't come back (even if it does... I'll deal with it)... And regardless I want to be able to talk to other people who might want to talk who go through the same thing.



    Holy cow this is a depressing post for you all. Don't feel like you need to read this thread more if you don't want to. Thanks for letting me use this place as a mental dumping ground. I like it here and also I can pretty much guarantee nobody else I know is on CPF so it's kind of a public-nonpublic place to get this out. Not common on the internet of 2015. Please if anybody does want to talk about these kinds of topics in your own lives pm me or something.
    Last edited by martinaee; 07-21-2015 at 09:21 AM.

  10. #40

    Default Re: I'm about to become a statistic ... And why you should enjoy every day!

    I read every last word. Praying for a total recovery.

    ~ Chance
    Never point a flashlight at anything you don't intend to illuminate! Never buy a flashlight you have to make payments on.

  11. #41
    Flashaholic* martinaee's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm about to become a statistic ... And why you should enjoy every day!

    Thanks so much. It's somehow cliché sounding to past-me, but it really does mean a lot that other people are reading this.

    Last edited by martinaee; 07-20-2015 at 08:42 PM.

  12. #42

    Default Re: I'm about to become a statistic ... And why you should enjoy every day!

    Hang in there, martinaee, get the best medical advice you can and follow it. Ask questions and do your research to be sure you understand your situation and your options. There's lots of good information on the web from first-rate sources like Sloan-Kettering, Mayo, Hopkins, UCSF, et al.

    This can be one of the best gifts in your life, if it helps you to become fully present to the present moment. Look for the blessings and you will find them. For instance, this can be a powerful positive force in your relationship with your wife, if you deal with it together.

    As a survivor of stage 3B prostate cancer (five years and counting), I speak from personal experience.

  13. #43
    Flashaholic* KITROBASKIN's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm about to become a statistic ... And why you should enjoy every day!

    You have done us a favor, more than a favor, by writing and sharing this. Thank You.

  14. #44
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    Default Re: I'm about to become a statistic ... And why you should enjoy every day!

    Impressive how you are dealing with this already Martin. Alot of times life is not fair and when it all piles up the way you deal with it depends the outcome.

    Good luck with all your coming test/scans!

  15. #45
    Flashaholic* bdogps's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm about to become a statistic ... And why you should enjoy every day!

    All the best to you mate. The thing with your wife digestive system, do she eat wheat? Some people are gluten sensitive and do not realise it. I would strongly recommend reading this book called "Brain Maker." I know there is not much science yet, into what roles your gut flora plays in your bodies system. I read there is around 10,000 species of organisms that live in your gut. Imbalances of good bacteria and bad can do havoc to your system. It might be worth a shot reading the book and giving it a try. Once again, all the best to you mate and thank you for sharing.

  16. #46
    Flashaholic* martinaee's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm about to become a statistic ... And why you should enjoy every day!

    Quote Originally Posted by bdogps View Post
    All the best to you mate. The thing with your wife digestive system, do she eat wheat? Some people are gluten sensitive and do not realise it. I would strongly recommend reading this book called "Brain Maker." I know there is not much science yet, into what roles your gut flora plays in your bodies system. I read there is around 10,000 species of organisms that live in your gut. Imbalances of good bacteria and bad can do havoc to your system. It might be worth a shot reading the book and giving it a try. Once again, all the best to you mate and thank you for sharing.
    Hey, yeah she's been thinking about gluten intolerance for a long time, but I'm not sure that's it. Now she's thinking possibly gall bladder issues, but who knows.

    Like I said it's kind of unfair somehow, because at least with what I have we know exactly what we have to do to work on curing me, but with digestive issues there are SO SO SO many unknown things and problems still. It could definitely be a food type/group intolerance or allergy or it could be an actual problem with an organ function or something. She's been to so many doctors over the years and it never seems to solve anything.

    Thanks for the book recommendation. I'll have to look that one up. I know she knows a lot about intestinal bacteria and stuff. She's obviously always reading tons of info about these subjects online trying to work on getting herself better.

  17. #47
    Flashaholic* martinaee's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm about to become a statistic ... And why you should enjoy every day!

    Quote Originally Posted by Dragfree View Post
    Hang in there, martinaee, get the best medical advice you can and follow it. Ask questions and do your research to be sure you understand your situation and your options. There's lots of good information on the web from first-rate sources like Sloan-Kettering, Mayo, Hopkins, UCSF, et al.

    This can be one of the best gifts in your life, if it helps you to become fully present to the present moment. Look for the blessings and you will find them. For instance, this can be a powerful positive force in your relationship with your wife, if you deal with it together.

    As a survivor of stage 3B prostate cancer (five years and counting), I speak from personal experience.

    That's great to hear you are doing so much better from your own experience with prostate cancer. Being present in reality and "awareness" are definitely in the big words I'm starting to constantly think to myself about. Acceptance is another one. You just have to move past the why me stage and get into the: "okay, this is what is so let's deal with it" stage.

    I do feel I'm dealing with it well, but I also have to admit I have SO much support that is making dealing with this almost seem unfair to me. By that I mean I think about so many people in the world who probably are by themselves and have to go through this or even worse illnesses completely alone and that just makes me sad.

  18. #48
    Flashaholic* martinaee's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm about to become a statistic ... And why you should enjoy every day!

    I remember briefly hearing about this, but now my wife pointed out that Michael C. Hall, the actor in Six Feet Under and Dexter, had Hodgkin's Lymphoma too around 2009-2010. He seems to be doing very well now though I guess.


  19. #49

    Default Re: I'm about to become a statistic ... And why you should enjoy every day!

    We're pulling for you man! Keep us posted!

  20. #50
    Flashaholic* martinaee's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm about to become a statistic ... And why you should enjoy every day!

    Hey guys. I had a bone marrow biopsy today. This is a video (NOT ME) that is pretty similar to what I had today. I think the man doing my procedure used an electric drill through instead of a manual tool you turn to drill with. Overall this is basically the same thing though. Just slightly different tools.



    Also here is where they go into the bone. Into the top of the Iliac crest. (see picture) imagine sliding a really thick needle into the side of a pancake. So from that angle.



    Not so bad overall. It was pretty quick. The numbing part hurt a bit but not too badly. And only a few seconds of really sharp pain when they took out one of the first more liquid-y samples from the bone. In the video you can see the last sample is a small sample of more solid spongey bone marrow. Overall it's not too bad. Outpatient and quick with only a few really uncomfortable moments. Definitely better overall than my neck lymph node biopsy where I was put under.

    -Martin

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    Flashaholic* bdogps's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm about to become a statistic ... And why you should enjoy every day!

    Looks painful! I hope everything works out mate.

  22. #52
    Flashaholic* martinaee's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm about to become a statistic ... And why you should enjoy every day!

    Quote Originally Posted by bdogps View Post
    Looks painful! I hope everything works out mate.
    The worst part was the first of three samples they removed which was the more liquid of the 3 samples. There was a nurse on the opposite side kind of holding my arms a bit and I gripped her hard on that one. It felt like somebody grabbed a nerve in there with their fingers and squeezed hard, but it only lasted for a few seconds.

    For anybody who ever has to get it done I'll say it's very doable. Especially by people who know what the are doing. Definitely not fun, but nothing to mentally destroy yourself over leading up to it. I think I had an Ativan before the procedure which is supposed to relieve anxiety a bit, but beyond that nothing. I have to watch the bandaging for 24 hours, but I seem to be doing fine. There was a miniscule chance of internal bleeding with this procedure, but I'm totally fine.

    Overall not such a biggy. You've gotta do it in this situation so just don't mentally psyche yourself out going into it and just get it done!

    -Martin

  23. #53
    Flashaholic* bdogps's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm about to become a statistic ... And why you should enjoy every day!

    From my experience, pain can always get worse from your previous experience. For example, I had a ingrown toe nail removed. I heard people screaming in pain and thought they were soft. Then it was my turn, the foot doc stuck the needle the first time, it was okay. Then he just kept poking for couple more times and I was ready to yell in pain myself. I thought that was the worst experience in pain I ever had. Then post kidney removal, the area where they removed my kidney gives me trouble for some reason. If I stretch or turn the wrong the pain can bring me to my knees.

    Hopefully you do not have to through that again.

    I did not watch the video, I get squeamish.. It is not the blood, it just the pain.

  24. #54

    Default Re: I'm about to become a statistic ... And why you should enjoy every day!

    Quote Originally Posted by martinaee View Post
    She's been to so many doctors over the years and it never seems to solve anything.
    I wish I could recommend a good naturopath. Doctors really don't know much when it comes to gut stuff. A friend of mine had terrible gut issues. After seeing many specialists, he eventually saw a naturopath who said something about gut flora, and referred him to another specialist where he went through an experimental poo transplant. Not saying that is what is wrong but sometimes the alternative therapists may have a better idea

  25. #55
    Flashaholic frosty's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm about to become a statistic ... And why you should enjoy every day!

    Good luck to you.

  26. #56
    *Flashaholic* Str8stroke's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm about to become a statistic ... And why you should enjoy every day!

    I can't even imagine what or how this feels. So, I don't know what to say. Other than, hang in there and be strong.

    I was a big Dexter fan, and I remember seeing Mr. Hall with no hair and hearing he had some rare disease/cancer. He does seem to be doing well. From what I just read, it looks as though he was diagnosed in early 2010 and its 5 years later. So that is positive.
    Interested in Saltytri lights. Pm me!


  27. #57
    Flashaholic* martinaee's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm about to become a statistic ... And why you should enjoy every day!

    bdogps - Yeah hopefully not. There is a super small chance I'll have cancer in the marrow now, but hopefully not (crosses finger) If I do... I don't know if that means I'd have another one of these down the line...? I don't know. Oh well lol.



    Mr. Floppy - Yeah she has looked into/I think goes to a naturopath. She knows about that experimental fecal transplant. She hasn't had that and I don't know if it would work for whatever she has but maybe she can try that down the line. Thanks. And yeah
    you're right---one of the most frustrating things is that we go to doctors expecting them to accurately be able to diagnose everything, but the reality is they don't know so much. She gets frustrated because in the past doctors have acted like they know immediately or that it's "all in her head". I can guarantee you it's not after seeing her crying night after night sometimes :/ How did that procedure turn out with your friend? I appreciate how much support and sympathy I'm getting for this, but like I said before I feel it's unfair to my wife who has been going though something for so long and often feels like people don't really understand she's going through severe pain/an actual condition because it isn't something common or diagnosed or easily understandable as serious like "cancer" is.



    frosty - Thanks bud!



    Str8stroke - Yeah, Michael C. Hall seems to be doing fine now. This is weird because 2010 is when I graduated from college. I know I'm supposed to feel "grown up" inside, but mentally time has sped up so much for me and if I'm being honest with myself I still feel more like a college age kid than "adult" Hall seemed to have basically exactly what I have so it is reassuring that he seems to be doing fine (at least from the few videos I've seen). It's remarkable that he kept filming for a while while he knew he had it initially. I don't know if he stopped working on TV shows while getting chemo/treatment, but I'm going to assume so.

  28. #58
    Flashaholic* martinaee's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm about to become a statistic ... And why you should enjoy every day!

    Just realized this will be my 1000th post so I thought I'd use it to say thanks to everyone on CPF. I almost wanted to make a separate thread in a different CPF forum, but I guess I'll put it here since this will be a long-term meaningful thread to me.

    I think I started looking at CPF in 2008 or so when I was still in college and got my first "real" flashlight which was a Fenix LD20 q5. LOL I lost that light photographing a wedding along with a Streamlight Microstream a few years back.

    I think I only started posting in 2012, but this has been an awesome place to be a part of as everyone is nice and the forums spans the super technical to the general use and use philosophies to fun things and everything else not even related to flashlights/led emitters.

    THANKS EVERYONE AND CPF!!! KEEP IT GOING FOR YEARS TO COME

  29. #59

    Default Re: I'm about to become a statistic ... And why you should enjoy every day!

    Quote Originally Posted by martinaee View Post
    How did that procedure turn out with your friend?
    he's gone for a world trip and haven't seen him for ages. I am guessing it worked out. I'm not a close friend so I don't know the full details.

  30. #60
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    Default Re: I'm about to become a statistic ... And why you should enjoy every day!

    Hi Martinaee, I wish you the best. Its important to keep a positive attitude. Try to hang out with people who treat you normally and make you laugh. And try to stay away from the downers the doom and gloomers, you don't need to hear about other peoples crap when you have your own to deal with. Also this will be, in some ways, just as hard on your wife as you.

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