"How to Win Friends and Influence People."
By: Dale Carnegie
Sorry that this recommendation took longer than expected. I honestly wasn't sure what tone to use in making it. But you know what?.... Screw it! I'm not even going to try to sugar-coat it or be at least a bit diplomatic about it. The book itself is not very diplomatic towards the reader. Honestly, unlike all of my recommendations in Part 1 of this topic, this particular book is not one I even
want to recommend. But it is so important, that I have too. Despite the fact that chapter 1 put me into a horrifically angry mood.
This isn't a nice tome. In fact you have to accept certain unfortunate and downright nasty truths about Humanity in general in order to get the most from this book. Early on in the book, these truths are presented. And, historical examples are then given to drive home the fact that these truths are indeed fact. To be honest, a better title would have been "How to manipulate most people into doing what you want them to do, whether or not that manipulation is beneficial to them."
Making friends? Oh no. You will find nothing in its pages that teaches how to seek out like-minded individuals of good morals (or similar morals to yours) and become life-long friends. You WILL learn how to manipulate some to think of you as a good friend.
One example of dealing with people: Someone screws up at their job. You as boss, can either confront them or treat them with understanding. Openly and honestly confronting them for screwing up, expect one of two responses. One, just denial. Refusal on their part to accept the reality that it's
their fault. Refusal to admit they did anything wrong! Or, best you can hope for, they'll just say "I don't know what else I could have done better."
That's it. The book recommends confronting no one. Trying a gentler approach. That may or may not work, but the idiot who screwed up will at least think well of you. Just one of many concepts shown in the book. And what's pointed out in the book are proven techniques that work much of the time. That's the sad part. They work! So if you want to use them, you'll likely succeed. You just have to pretty much pretend to be someone you're not. But you'll likely get results! (Now you guys know why I was so angry at the end of chapter 1.)
Again, don't want to recommend it. But if you buy only one psychology book on the market, get this one. And, that was just the first couple of chapters in the book. Didn't want to spoil the rest. It's one of those books you don't just read, but re-read and study. Highly recommended.