Geronimo Log

Hogokansatsukan

Flashlight Enthusiast
Joined
Aug 14, 2006
Messages
5,243
Location
Tucson
Geronimo Airborne Fallonfloor was born December 7th, 2017. She was quite literally "airborne" as she jumped from the mother ship while the mother ship was being carried (not by me) and landed on the carpeted floor. Hence her name.

This is her diary.

Day 21 of my continued confinement. I am constantly being woken up by my captors. It's terribly difficult to get the 23 and 3/4s hours of sleep I need a day with these people around. I think the fat man is here again. I can feel him watching me.
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Geronimo log... Day 32 of my lifelong incarceration. Haven't seen the fat man for nearly a quarter of my life then he decides to show up. Get me OUT OF HERE!!!
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Geronimo Log day 39... fat man was back again today. I think my puppy powers are working. Soon I'll have him feeding me and picking up my poop.
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Geronimo Log Day 40. The fat man was back again today. He brought me a leather chew toy with my middle name on it. This guy obviously doesn't understand... I chew what I want, when I want... as long as nobody is there to stop me. The fat man is going to take a lot of training.
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Geronimo Log... still day 40... THE GREAT ESCAPE! I escaped twice today, but got captured both times. Damn these guards, and they are using dogs too!
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Geronimo Log Day 42. Again with the fat man. He's actually pretty tasty. When he dies, I'm going to eat him. I will of course start with his shoes and other personal effects as soon as possible.
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Geronimo Log, Day 43. The fat man is mine. I now have a slave to do my every bidding. No one can resist my puppy powers! Hahahahahahaha!
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Geronimo Log, day 54. I've got my Chewbacca on.
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Geronimo Log day 72. I forced the fat man to take me out of my prison, but I think I made a horrible mistake as he had his own prison for me at his home. He is a total hypocrite. He gets to pee in the house but I have to go outside. What the hell? And while I can't prove it, I'm pretty sure he is pooping in the house as well, but if I try that, I'm snatched up and taken outside as well. This double standard has to stop. I will be chewing on the edges of his leather couch, and anything else within my 6 inch range in protest.
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Geronimo Log day 74. I have definitely made a huge mistake in deciding to own the fat man. He is a sadistic son of a human. He water-boarded me today. I'm not sure just what information he was trying to extract from me as all I could understand was "Geronimo blah blah blah Geronimo blah blah blah". The fat man is a hypocritical sadist. I will get my revenge tonight when he sleeps. I'm now saving my urine for the middle of the night.
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Geronimo Log Day 76. The fat man took me to see my parents. Dad was very depressed and didn't run around. He just laid in his bed growling at everyone. I heard he had a bad day at school. From what I gather the professor and him didn't get along. I know it was a professor because everyone called him "Doctor". Apparently, the professor tutored him, presumably in "catch" and dad wasn't so smart because from what I heard, he lost two balls, and then was sent home.
The fat man said I don't have to go to school, but when I'm old enough, I will get sprayed. I'm looking forward to getting my new perfume. Mommy got sprayed too, but she didn't smell any different.
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Kenzie Log Day who the hell cares. One game of slap and tickle and YOU do THIS to ME? You humans are a sick bunch. I hate you all. I gave you puppies! PUPPIES! And this is how you repay me? I'll trade this cone for my nuts back. How about just one? Please?
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Geronimo Log Day 76. The fat man has been taking me in the big metal mobile cage. We had an argument about the seating arrangements and he wouldn't let me play with the stick between the seats. The fat man is no good at sharing at all. He then expected me to sit next to him. What a bunch of crap! I couldn't see anything! I climbed right up that selfish fat man, and got the seat I wanted. He's lucky I'm not a male or I would have marked this seat as mine.
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Geronimo Log day 78.
DIBS!!!! Mine!!!
If I catch the fat man in this, there is going to be big trouble. I don't trust him. I'm going to have to hide this somewhere. I'll hide it one piece at a time all over the house.
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Geronimo Log Day 80... The fat man has to go, and this is where I'm supposed to go. 33 degree cement at 0200 in the morning. Are you kidding me? First, I have to wake the fat man up. The only thing I have discovered that works is to chew on the tiny little nose of his. Then that fat ******* CARRIES me out here. WTF? I'm barefoot for crying out loud! Maybe I shouldn't have tried to relieve myself on the nice warm carpeting the couple of times he tried to force march me out here, but that's in the past. I don't see him standing out here to pee on the cold cement. He's even trying to get me to relieve myself on those pointy sharp rocks behind me. Sadistic creep. And he's always watching me to make sure I go before he lets me back in the house. What a pervert.
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Geronimo Log Day 80 part II. I am one sick puppy. I puked. I puked and puked and puked. The fat man chased me around in the yard and kept yelling "NO!" every time I found something delicious to eat. Stupid fat man. I think the stress of it all made me sick. I first felt sick on the fat man's leather couch. He grabbed me and nearly flung me into the kitchen on the hard tile. It was a nice pile of regurgitated yumminess, but he wouldn't let me eat it. I learned. He brought me back to the couch, so this time I was quiet about it. He must have heard just before the explosion because he grabbed me and headed to the kitchen, but I made it just in time to barf on his leather couch, his wool blanket, and one of his pillows while he was swinging me. He put me in jail while he cleaned. I puked on my jail pillow too. I'll have to give the fat man credit, he didn't yell at all, but he still wouldn't let me eat it. He was running around like crazy. I almost felt sorry for him. He let me out of jail to clean my pillow before I could step in it... I tried but he was too quick. I've never seen the fat man move that fast before. After he took my pillow, I went back into my jail on my own and puked twice more. I'm hoping he's learned his lesson about chasing me around the yard yelling "no!" every time I find something delicious to eat. I just don't deal well with the stress. It makes me sick as a dog.
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Geronimo Log Day 89... The hypocrisy continues. The fat man is always eating on the couch, but I try to take a nibble here, and it's like the world is ending. I mean, this thing is soooo tasty! What other reason could this leather couch be here for than for me to nibble on while watching Netflix? The fat man even yelled at me for licking it. Now, I have to wait for the fat man to fall asleep... then, and only then, the couch is MINE!
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Geronimo Log Day 90. Today I visited my bro. His name is Tigger. Since he is older, we were left unsupervised for a short time as he is the responsible one. Responsible for the mess. I had nothing to do with it, but just in case, I decided to stay under the couch as the fat man likes to jump to conclusions all the time and always blames me for every turd found in the house. I mean, he lives in the house too so it's perfectly logical he could be responsible for those brown bombs as well.
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Geronimo Log day 93. The fat man tried to abandon me. He brought me to see my siblings, then left me there probably hoping I wouldn't notice. Well, the chubby girl is bringing me back to MY place. The fat man can't skip out on me so easily... and I've been making him a welcome home present... in my bowels... I own him. He best never forget it. In the meantime, I'm just going to relax and let my lower intestines do their thing on the way back to my home.
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Geronimo Log Day 98.
The fat man left me alone with his computer while he went off to poop in the house in the same place I get water-boarded. I am now taking over every aspect of this fat guy's life. Sleep patterns... check. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner... check. Playtime... check.
I got lonely for Tigger and Luna so I forced the fat man to take me there. I forgot about about the little humans there. What? Am I a toy? Are my siblings dolls? I think not. Dolls don't poop and eat their own barf! Though, I must say I do look good in red! My siblings are so weird!
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Geronimo Log Day 100. The fat man is always full of surprises. I know that every time he leaves the room he is leaving forever and not coming back. I'm not sure why I know this, but deep down in my heart, I know he will never return. I'm even more sure when I hear the garage door and he leaves in the mobile cage. He's gone forever. Then, inexplicably, he returns. It's really messing with me. He left again today. Walked right out of the room and left me on the couch to die of starvation or I could leap 8 inches to my death splattered on the carpeting. I have to think... what would a cat do? I must be more like a cat, and IF he comes back before I die, which is highly unlikely, I'm going to ignore him. That's it. I'm a cat. Wait a second... THE FAT MAN IS BACK!!! THE FAT MAN IS BACK!!! THE FAT MAN IS BACK!!! THE FAT MAN IS BACK!!! Sometimes I hate myself.

Geronimo Log, Day 110
The fat man is a BIG FAT LIAR!
I've been working for a month now to get into my Hillary chew toy. I finally got her thumb chewed off, and it wasn't at all what the fat man said it would be. It was full of polyester stuffing! WTF? Totally unacceptable! I kept hearing the fat man say she was full of crap, and I couldn't wait to get into the delicious center, but NOOOOOOOO! Freakin' stuffing. I am very disappointed... at least the polyester stuffing makes my brown land mines look a little more interesting.
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Geronimo Log Day 114 0600. The fat man just doesn't understand when I try to do nice things for him. It's Easter morning and I thought it would be nice to have an Easter Egg hunt. Well, not having opposable thumbs, it is very difficult for me to make Easter eggs, but I did the best job I could, then hid them in the hallway. I expected the fat man to be delighted with my Easter morning surprise, but NOOOooooooo.
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Geronimo Log, Day 119. What kind of devilry is this? I know what he is doing here, and I was just waiting to push the fat man's nose into it... but by some kind of magic I can't fathom how it turned into... ANOTHER WATER DISH! OH HAPPY DAY! Now, how can I get my face down there?
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Geronimo Log, Day 125. The fat man has lost his mind. I am a ninja. When I go out into the yard at night, I blend in like a Marine Corps sniper planting land mines wherever I see fit... generally in high traffic walkway areas. If my poop could explode, the fat man would be legless by now. And how do I get rewarded for my skills? How does he show his appreciation for my cleverness and ninja ability? He attaches headlights to me! How can I go sneaking around like this? If I had opposable thumbs, I would rip this stupid thing off! This is so unfair! I guess I should be happy he isn't a welder or woodworker.
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Geronimo Log, Day 126. I finally got some appreciation for my abilities today. The fat man took me in the hodge-podge dog vehicle, at least that's what he calls it, and we went into the desert. He played with a boom stick while I picked up every little twig, leaf, and seed, and hid it in my coat. I know it impressed him but not sure what "desert duster" means as he kept calling me that, and during the hour he spent stealing those precious twigs, leaves, and seeds from me, he kept calling me son. Son of my mother. He did complement me by asking how I managed to get a bushel of this in my coat. I've got skills!
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Geronimo Log, Day 140. I wish the fat man would be more consistent. At first, I thought what an exceptionally kind gesture of him to put tasty treats in the yard for me. He put the hind quarter of a packrat out there that had been baking nicely in the sun for several day, but then when I went to chew on it, he took it away. What the heck? Living with this guy is just confusing.
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Geronimo Log, day 146. I got to ride in the mobile cage today. The fat man said it is leakier than me and needs to get fixed... but he didn't take it to the doctor like he did mom and dad. I hope he isn't planning on having me fixed by those guys.
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knucklegary

Flashlight Enthusiast
Joined
Feb 11, 2017
Messages
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Location
NorCal, Central Coast
Geronimo,

Hope you plan to have at least one litter. I would drive to AZ to adopt one of your pups!

Btw, Tell fat man he needs to publish a childrens Survivalist book 😁
 
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