I wrote this for my own amusement, but I thought it might get me a star on the 'member ratings' (or it might cost me one!) How come I'm not rated, anyhow? I've been writing lots of posts! Doesn't that get me even ONE star??
Well, here it is: you can apply it whatever flashlight you happen to be lusting after.
Top Ten Reasons for Owning a *60* White LED Flashlight:
10) Shine it over your shoulder at the SUV that's tailgating you, and he suddenly drives into the ditch (and flips over, if it's a Ford Explorer).....
9) Airplanes mistake it for a landing beacon..... and land just behind you on the freeway! (Our Lady of Blessed Acceleration, please don't fail me now!)
8) Shine it down the front of a row of houses in (name of bad part of town) from your moving car, and everybody suddenly starts flushing the toilets.....
7) I've almost got it paid for with the money I've made shining it into the sky at night in front of new car dealerships....
6) It came with a *big* tube of SPF #45 Sun-Block.....
5)I shined it at a seeing-eye dog, and now *he* has to use a white cane....
4) I shined it on my solar calculator, and it calculated pi to the last digit......
3) No telltale heat signature from your house when you use it for growing marijuana hydroponically......
2) There's no need to go to the emergency room, if you think you might have broken a bone....
And the number one reason for owning a 60 white LED flashlight:
1) It's bright enough to deflect the solar wind from all of North America!
( Yeah, I know: don't give up my day job....)
Well, here it is: you can apply it whatever flashlight you happen to be lusting after.
Top Ten Reasons for Owning a *60* White LED Flashlight:
10) Shine it over your shoulder at the SUV that's tailgating you, and he suddenly drives into the ditch (and flips over, if it's a Ford Explorer).....
9) Airplanes mistake it for a landing beacon..... and land just behind you on the freeway! (Our Lady of Blessed Acceleration, please don't fail me now!)
8) Shine it down the front of a row of houses in (name of bad part of town) from your moving car, and everybody suddenly starts flushing the toilets.....
7) I've almost got it paid for with the money I've made shining it into the sky at night in front of new car dealerships....
6) It came with a *big* tube of SPF #45 Sun-Block.....
5)I shined it at a seeing-eye dog, and now *he* has to use a white cane....
4) I shined it on my solar calculator, and it calculated pi to the last digit......
3) No telltale heat signature from your house when you use it for growing marijuana hydroponically......
2) There's no need to go to the emergency room, if you think you might have broken a bone....
And the number one reason for owning a 60 white LED flashlight:
1) It's bright enough to deflect the solar wind from all of North America!
( Yeah, I know: don't give up my day job....)
