Anger management?

Have a bit of a hair trigger temper, usual problem, lose control and bawl at everyone and sundry, then calm down and feel a bit sheepish about it.

Giving up cigarettes just over a year ago does not seem to have helped a lot.

Any advice from the panel on techniques that might help?

Thanks
Adam

Don't feel alone. I keep checking back here for tips. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/popcorn.gif

[ QUOTE ]
... feel a bit sheepish about it.

[/ QUOTE ]

Go with that... apologize for your "outbursts"... offer a peace offering. You'd be surprised at how humbling yourself like that can make you think twice the next time you "mouth off".

I went off (just a little bit... /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/blush.gif) at my job on Tuesday. Later, I realized that I let the wrong person have it. Sheepish? Yeah... that's putting it mildly... I felt downright STUPID! So yesterday I went and bought a Hershey bar and brought it to the woman I went off on. I gave it to her and apologized for my behavior. It's not something I want to make a habit of doing... I really can't afford all the Hershey bars... /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif

Also... go to your local gym or even community college for yoga classes. Hatha yoga is very calming and "cooling". It has done wonders for me... truly. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grinser2.gif

This suggestion is made half in jest: head over to the Underground and start reading and posting. You'll either have a heart attack/stroke or learn not to get mad at little things.

Adam,

Although I have no expertise in this area I do know that anger is a common problem that can have multiple causes including unresolved psychological issues, PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, biochemical imbalance, alcohol/substance abuse, neurological condition, accumulation of life's pressures, specific difficult circumstances/relationships, chronic pain, any combination of the above, etc, etc.

Have you spoken with friends, family, ministers etc about this problem? Since the only remedy you mention is quitting cigarettes you might consider consulting counselors who are trained to deal with this and other issues..

Here's a Google page on the subject.

ANGER MANAGEMENT


Good luck,
Brightnorm

If you are serious about controling your anger- Give your heart to Jesus. I had a very bad anger problem. Nothing worked to help control it. When I got saved, it just disappeared. And believe me, I have been put thru some very testing moments in my life- and passed all the test.

Adam
Sasha is right. Exercise, particularly aeorbic, makes a huge difference. This is expierence talking, not conjecture.
Sasha
You could yell at me anytime you want, even /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/twakfl.gif if you bring me a Hershey bar afterwards. (I'm easily bribed)
Keith

[ QUOTE ]
UncleFester said:
You could yell at me anytime you want, even /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/twakfl.gif if you bring me a Hershey bar afterwards. (I'm easily bribed)
Keith

[/ QUOTE ]ohh..so, could i bribe you w/ a Hersey bar for you to forget that i called you eldery /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/blush.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif

I probably won't forget, but will forgive. Something tells me that from your perspective I am elderly, young'un. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/poke2.gif

[ QUOTE ]
Kanai said:
If you are serious about controling your anger- Give your heart to Jesus. I had a very bad anger problem. Nothing worked to help control it. When I got saved, it just disappeared. And believe me, I have been put thru some very testing moments in my life- and passed all the test.

[/ QUOTE ]

I second this.Before I got saved I had an AWEFUL temper.It runs in my family,BAD. I still deal with it,but I RARELY "lose" my temper now.You have to remember that getting "angry" in itself is not wrong.It's what you allow anger to make you do.Just my 2 cents and remember,this is not coming from someone that doesn't understand anger.Believe me!

[ QUOTE ]
UncleFester said:
I probably won't forget, but will forgive. Something tells me that from your perspective I am elderly, young'un. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/poke2.gif

[/ QUOTE ]aww /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/mecry.gif...how about i bribe you w/ 5 Hersey bars? will you forgive and forget? /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grinser2.gif and no, i dont think you're elderly. i was just teasing /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif i'm not too much of a young'un to call you elderly /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif

Dip that Hershey bar in Baileys's Irish Creme and you got a deal.

PM Sent.

deal! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Exercise works great for stress/anger management, ive been doing it for the past month or so. After work every night (around 11.30pm - 12am) i get out on my bike and ride until my leg muscles begin to boil. Then a nice soak in a hot bath afterwards, and all the stress just melts away.

Its not just the physical side thats good for you either, being on your own out on a bike after midnight gives you lots of time for contemplation.

LED-FX,
If the problem started because of quitting smoking, there is a possible chemical connection.
If you learned to deal with anger by having a smoke to calm down, your brain chemistry may not be able to properly adapt to the stress of anger right now.

Everybody has offered their best advise, but unless you have experienced this you can't even comprehend it.

A doctor or psychiatrist might be able to help.

Theepdinker

heres what i do...

every times somoene says or does something stupid, or something doesn't go right, or whatever, imagine a little bottle, and put your anger in the bottle.
so now, rather than getting angry, just keep putting the anger in the bottle to contain it /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif

Do you think you may not be one of the brainwashed lab rats, and have become a bit stressed over the lack of wide open green spaces and hills, that are lacking in your area?

(Did I ever mention that cities remind me of those science labs where they stuff way too many rats in a cage...)

[ QUOTE ]
Rothrandir said:
heres what i do...

every times somoene says or does something stupid, or something doesn't go right, or whatever, imagine a little bottle, and put your anger in the bottle.
so now, rather than getting angry, just keep putting the anger in the bottle to contain it /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

Not to start an arguement,but this is VERY dangerous.Because EVENTUALLY that bottle gets "full" and when it does......WHOA MOMMA! I pray daily about my temper,but I also make a VERY conscious effort to not get upset over ever little thing.Especially the way people drive.And I notice that it carries over to everything else in my life.

Its not directly from quitting smoking, that has helped in fact, the short temper thing from quitting smoking is pretty short lived matter of days really.

Think what started me thinking was strangely enough a driving confrontation, with a taxi, long story short , ended up facing off with one of us having to reverse out the other`s, and beginning to queue traffic, way.

Afetr sitting for a minute the taxi driver climbs out taps on my window, am expecting full blown argument, nope, he very calmy says,

"well we have to get the traffic flowing, and as long as you accept responsibility for your part in blocking it up, I will reverse out of the way"

Theres no reply to that, you can`t start shouting, you just sort of nod and drive on. Regardless of the rights and wrongs of the original driving disagreement, and it pains me to say a taxi driver, won in the end.

Another reccomendation for yoga, thanks Sasha, just dunno if I`d look good in lycra ;-)

Adam