Aviation humor for flashaholics

Photon

Newly Enlightened
Joined
Apr 24, 2001
Messages
184
Location
Plano, TX
Scene: Student and instructor are on a dual, night cross country.

Instructor: (Turns down the panel lights) "OK, you've just lost your lights, what are you going to do?"
(Student pulls out a flashlight.)
Student: "I get out my flashlight."
(Instructor grabs flashlight.)
Instructor: "The batteries are dead, now what are you going to do?"
(Student pulls out another flashlight.)
Student: "I get out my other flashlight."
(Instructor grabs next flashlight.)
Instructor: "The bulb is burned out on this one, now what?"
(Student pulls out yet a third flashlight.)
Student: "I use this flashlight."
(Instructor grabs this one too.)
Instructor: "ALL your flashlights are dead. Now what?"
Student: "I use this glow stick."
Instructor: "Sighhhhhh, just fly the plane without any lights, OK?"
 

kongfuchicken

Flashlight Enthusiast
Joined
Dec 21, 2003
Messages
1,570
Location
Santa Cruz, CA
Instructor: "The bulb is burned out on this one, now what?"
Student: "What bulb?"
Instructor: "The bulb in the flashlight!"
Student: "It's diode flashlight."
Instructor: "(...)"
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif
 

danielo_d

Enlightened
Joined
Jul 28, 2003
Messages
359
Location
NorCal
rollin.gif

Awesome!!!
 

Orion

Flashlight Enthusiast
Joined
Jun 27, 2002
Messages
1,613
Location
Missouri
Instructor: "Your battery has gone dead, now what?"
Student: "I pull out my fresh new cell that I always keep in my pocket."

Great humor! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif
 

mut

Flashlight Enthusiast
Joined
Jun 13, 2003
Messages
1,281
Location
OK
That is absolutely great. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/crackup.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/crackup.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/crackup.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/crackup.gif

mut
 

BobVA

Enlightened
Joined
Aug 10, 2003
Messages
416
Location
North VA
I've got a list of aviation quotes somewhere. The definition of "flashlight" is "metal tube used to store dead batteries".

Cheers,
Bob
 

JanCPF

Enlightened
Joined
Oct 17, 2003
Messages
846
Location
Denmark
Student: "I use this glow stick."
(Instructor grabs this one too.)
Instructor: "You forgot that the glowstick has been used before so it doesn't work"
Student: "I open this bag of tritium glowrings an stick them on the instruments"
Instructor jumps out the window. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/banghead.gif
 

KevinL

Flashlight Enthusiast
Joined
Jun 10, 2004
Messages
5,866
Location
At World's End
I can just imagine a flashaholic going for a flight.. cache of lithium batteries, spares carrier, spare lamps and half a dozen lights. What a way to ensure 99.999% ("Five-Nines") availability... /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif
 

JOshooter

Enlightened
Joined
Oct 21, 2002
Messages
544
Location
Alaska
I have a friend who's dad is a pilot.


Scene: Night flight in a cloudless sky.

Back when they had flight engineers in the cockpit the pilot, co-pilot, and flight engineer spent a good 45 minutes unscrewing all the light bulbs, turning off the display screens, and getting rid of any other source of light. When all the light in the cockpit was out both pilots shrunk down in their chairs and the engineer hid in the coat closet. The pilot pushed the call stewardess button and they all waited. The stewardess entered seeing a pitch black cockpit and out the windows was the moon and the ground. All of a sudden the flight engineer grabed the stewardess' leg.


That would have been an interesting flight...
 

Roy

Farewell our Curmudgeon Administrator
Joined
Apr 14, 2002
Messages
4,465
Location
Granbury, Tx USA
......but then it would be only HALF as bright! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/clap.gif
 

fuelblender

Enlightened
Joined
Dec 30, 2003
Messages
297
Location
Midlothian, Va.
[ QUOTE ]
JOshooter said:
I have a friend who's dad is a pilot.


Scene: Night flight in a cloudless sky.

Back when they had flight engineers in the cockpit the pilot, co-pilot, and flight engineer spent a good 45 minutes unscrewing all the light bulbs, turning off the display screens, and getting rid of any other source of light. When all the light in the cockpit was out both pilots shrunk down in their chairs and the engineer hid in the coat closet. The pilot pushed the call stewardess button and they all waited. The stewardess entered seeing a pitch black cockpit and out the windows was the moon and the ground. All of a sudden the flight engineer grabed the stewardess' leg.


That would have been an interesting flight...

[/ QUOTE ]

I nominate this as a classic!
 
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