Best Good/Lame excuse you ever heard?

LifeNRA

Flashaholic*
Joined
Jan 29, 2004
Messages
1,453
I worked with a guy a couple of years ago that came up with the best, or worst, excuse to get out of work I have ever heard. He never was much of a worker anyway. We were surveying out in the woods and he excused himself to answer the call of nature. Well he was gone for a good bit and when he came back he was limping. He stated that he needed to go to the hospital and we asked what happened of course. He said he hurt his back. Now it is not uncommon to trip or slip while surveying, especially in rough country as we were in. I have twisted my ankle more than once myself. But this guy claimed that after he had done his business that he accidently stepped in his "business" which caused him to slip and fall into said "business" causing him to hurt his back. Well to be honest he did stink and we took him to the emergency room which eat up the rest of the day getting him out of the woods and to the hospital which was 45 minutes away. He never did come back to work and he actually sued the company. We all had to go to court and testify. But the judge ruled in favor of the surveying company. When the judge made his ruling he said the following. "When you step in your own **** dont expect someone else to compensate you for it". /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smoker5.gif
I will add that none of us really believed him and I found out later that he had sued his last 2 employers before working with us. One of them was the US Army. Guess what he had sued them for. A hurt back /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/help.gif.
 

Gandalf

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Jul 3, 2001
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USA
The voices in my head told me to stay home and clean my assault rifle today.
 

Sub_Umbra

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la bonne vie en Amérique
Years ago a guy was pulled over for drunk driving. They gave him a Breathalizer test and it showed that he had something like three times the amount of alcohol in his blood needed to be considered legally drunk.

At his trial he tried to use the results of the Breathalizer test to establish that he was way too intoxicated to give informed consent to take the test, and he wanted the results excluded from the evidence against him.

I don't think that he was successful.
 

JackBlades

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Joined
Aug 20, 2002
Messages
675
Location
Yorba Linda, California, U.S.A.
This is a story I heard from a former boss.
A guy called into work and said, "I can't make it today. My wife's going to have a baby!"

When he showed up the next morning the boss asked if it was a boy or a girl.

"We won't know for another nine months." was the reply........
 

prego

Newly Enlightened
Joined
Nov 30, 2004
Messages
184
i heard this from a friend of mine. not sure if it was true though.

"I wasn't sleeping. I was trying to pick up my contact lenses without using my hands."
 

turbodog

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Joined
Jun 23, 2003
Messages
6,425
Location
central time
[ QUOTE ]
Sub_Umbra said:
Years ago a guy was pulled over for drunk driving. They gave him a Breathalizer test and it showed that he had something like three times the amount of alcohol in his blood needed to be considered legally drunk.

At his trial he tried to use the results of the Breathalizer test to establish that he was way too intoxicated to give informed consent to take the test, and he wanted the results excluded from the evidence against him.

I don't think that he was successful.

[/ QUOTE ]

That is an interesting line of reasoning.
 

fuelblender

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Joined
Dec 30, 2003
Messages
297
Location
Midlothian, Va.
Once upon a time I asked an co-worker (a young kid) to go outside to move a pallet of 55-gallon drums of gasoline, which was one of his job descriptions. His reply? "Dave, it's raining! Just pretend you didn't ask me and go ask someone else"!

Needless to say, he didn't last too long.
 

UncleFester

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Joined
Apr 28, 2004
Messages
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Location
Desert Hlls,AZ
[ QUOTE ]
Gandalf said:
The voices in my head told me to stay home and clean my assault rifle today.

[/ QUOTE ]

FOUR STARS
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/xyxgun.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/xyxgun.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/xyxgun.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/xyxgun.gif
 

Sub_Umbra

Flashlight Enthusiast
Joined
Mar 6, 2004
Messages
4,748
Location
la bonne vie en Amérique
[ QUOTE ]
UncleFester said:
[ QUOTE ]
Gandalf said:
The voices in my head told me to stay home and clean my assault rifle today.

[/ QUOTE ]

FOUR STARS
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/xyxgun.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/xyxgun.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/xyxgun.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/xyxgun.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

That is really good.
 

AlphaTea

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Joined
Jan 30, 2003
Messages
571
Location
right behind you. LOOK!
Once when I was working the Sunday afternoon shift, my relief was late (45 mins). He swore he got stuck behind a school bus /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/whoopin.gif
 

kongfuchicken

Flashlight Enthusiast
Joined
Dec 21, 2003
Messages
1,570
Location
Santa Cruz, CA
From some old movie:
"Mom and dad were yelled at each other and mom took the car and drove off and dad went chasing after her and the the lady who was dressing dad didn't want to drive me to school." /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif
 
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