Codeman
Flashlight Enthusiast
- Joined
- Nov 26, 2004
- Messages
- 2,690
Wellcum to Hillbilly RayBob's Cow Tippin' Flashlite Comparison – Surefire U2 and the CPF SL LionHeart! Y'all stay awhile – and beehave!
Today we's gonna look at the usefulness of two partiklur lites in the gurand sport of cow tipping. If y'uns don't know what cow tipping is, it's tipping over cows at night – duh! A real hoot! Sometimes beer or alkyhol might be involved, but that's not advisable for first timers. As you'll see, you need to keep your wits about you…
First, in order to tip a cow over, you first have to find a cow. They won't stand still for you in the daytime, so you have to do yur tippin' at nite. "But you can't see um in the dark, Uncle RayBob!" says Bubba, the less-than-well-lit cousin of RayBob. "Don't you worry none, Bubba, I got us some elektrik lites!"
Now, for we git any further, all you CPFer's needs to know sumptin. All yur fancy, high-faluting millyamps, and whatts and volts don't mean a hill o' beans when yur in a field full of half-asleep, half-blinded, running-around-crazed bovines. You ain't a gonna be thinkin' 'bout whether your light of choice has a .1 mA better current than the next feller or if you've got the right sammich in thar. Trust RayBob - all your gonna be conserned with is "can I see what I need to see and can I blind sumptin a running at me." So that's what we're gonna be lookin' at today.
Now, bafor anyone says sumptin, we hillbillies ain't alltogather dumb. We put togather a nice little chart for you. We also know brand-spankin' new, fresh from the box battrys are a bit stronger for the first minute or so, so we run our 123's a couple minutes befor the test. We even know to fully charge them thar re-chargable battrys and let 'em rest a while – about a day we figgurd.
Here's a chart for yu-uns to ponder:
As you can see, thar ain't much diffrance tween using 123's and them Pila's (except $), but thar's some big diffrance's tween the U2 and the LH.
The U2's gonna be the one you want when you first approach yur cow field. That's cause you wanna see everywhere to figgur out which cows right for you to tip. Overall the U2s a far piece more light than the LH, nice and spreadout-like.
Now, once u think you see a cow to yore likin', you're gonna want the LH cuz it's spot is darn near 25% brighter than the U2. That's important cause you wanna be tipping cows, not bulls, so yous gonna need to be able to see the, uh, diffrance from a distance.
Yore gonna wanna be ready, though, to switch back to the U2 real quick like if u hears heavy stomping a headin' yore way in the dark. Let's say, you find a nice enuf looking cow and start headin it's way. Well, her bull just might be a cheatin' around some off in some really dark corner of the field. Bulls ain't dumb though, so they'll be keepin' a eye out for trouble. Sur nuf, thees bright-as-the-sun lites are a gonna look like trouble to him if his sweetie pie is all lit up like the night Bubba lit a far too close to his still and burnt up all his corn likker! Wheew, talk about bright! But that's another story…
Back to the stomping sound headin yur way in the dark. You ain't gonna want to start searching for that mad bull with the LH. You wanna see all yous can see to first find the bull. That means the U2 on hi. By the time you find the stormin bull, though, he's probably right close. And he's a probly a thinkin' his night is about to be real fun! At that point, you might realize itz too late to run and the bull might be right. That's when you make the switch.
Put the LH on level 5 and catch that bull right between the eyes! Now, you gonna wanna to move off to the side real quick and give him plenty of room. 2000 lbs of blinded and meaner-n-a-pole-cat bull ain't just gonna stop and stand still.
Now, assuming you git away, don't that sound like fun?
At this point, if you didn't follow the warning about beer and alkyhol, you're gonna want to go to truck and pop a top. Go for it! You earned it!
Obviously, neither of this lights is well-suited by itsownself for cow-tippin'. Togather, though, they make a mighty fine pair!
One last warning – at the moment of truth, when the bull is a charging down on u and u're deciding whether to make a stand for true "real man" flashlite testing, or to run, you need to remember a couple of things. First, cows make sumptin called cow patties. Trust me, you'll know what they are when you encounter one - they smell, make a mighty bad mess of fancy lits, and they're slicker greased pigs. None of which are good things if you choose to run. Second, that bull don't car a bit 'bout yur fancy lits. Are you really shur yur up to risking a $200 lit to see if it can withstand the fury of 2000lbs? Coarse, it'd make a right nice story to tell yore visiters while yur in the hospital getting all doktured up from yur bull encounter, so go ahead!
Well, that's about all Hillbilly RayBob and cousin Bubba have to say bout lits and cow-tipping. Wall-chasing and a measurin' stuff is all well n good, we dos it too. We just think cow tippin' is a fur more exciting way to measure yore lits!
Today we's gonna look at the usefulness of two partiklur lites in the gurand sport of cow tipping. If y'uns don't know what cow tipping is, it's tipping over cows at night – duh! A real hoot! Sometimes beer or alkyhol might be involved, but that's not advisable for first timers. As you'll see, you need to keep your wits about you…
First, in order to tip a cow over, you first have to find a cow. They won't stand still for you in the daytime, so you have to do yur tippin' at nite. "But you can't see um in the dark, Uncle RayBob!" says Bubba, the less-than-well-lit cousin of RayBob. "Don't you worry none, Bubba, I got us some elektrik lites!"
Now, for we git any further, all you CPFer's needs to know sumptin. All yur fancy, high-faluting millyamps, and whatts and volts don't mean a hill o' beans when yur in a field full of half-asleep, half-blinded, running-around-crazed bovines. You ain't a gonna be thinkin' 'bout whether your light of choice has a .1 mA better current than the next feller or if you've got the right sammich in thar. Trust RayBob - all your gonna be conserned with is "can I see what I need to see and can I blind sumptin a running at me." So that's what we're gonna be lookin' at today.
Now, bafor anyone says sumptin, we hillbillies ain't alltogather dumb. We put togather a nice little chart for you. We also know brand-spankin' new, fresh from the box battrys are a bit stronger for the first minute or so, so we run our 123's a couple minutes befor the test. We even know to fully charge them thar re-chargable battrys and let 'em rest a while – about a day we figgurd.
Here's a chart for yu-uns to ponder:
As you can see, thar ain't much diffrance tween using 123's and them Pila's (except $), but thar's some big diffrance's tween the U2 and the LH.
The U2's gonna be the one you want when you first approach yur cow field. That's cause you wanna see everywhere to figgur out which cows right for you to tip. Overall the U2s a far piece more light than the LH, nice and spreadout-like.
Now, once u think you see a cow to yore likin', you're gonna want the LH cuz it's spot is darn near 25% brighter than the U2. That's important cause you wanna be tipping cows, not bulls, so yous gonna need to be able to see the, uh, diffrance from a distance.
Yore gonna wanna be ready, though, to switch back to the U2 real quick like if u hears heavy stomping a headin' yore way in the dark. Let's say, you find a nice enuf looking cow and start headin it's way. Well, her bull just might be a cheatin' around some off in some really dark corner of the field. Bulls ain't dumb though, so they'll be keepin' a eye out for trouble. Sur nuf, thees bright-as-the-sun lites are a gonna look like trouble to him if his sweetie pie is all lit up like the night Bubba lit a far too close to his still and burnt up all his corn likker! Wheew, talk about bright! But that's another story…
Back to the stomping sound headin yur way in the dark. You ain't gonna want to start searching for that mad bull with the LH. You wanna see all yous can see to first find the bull. That means the U2 on hi. By the time you find the stormin bull, though, he's probably right close. And he's a probly a thinkin' his night is about to be real fun! At that point, you might realize itz too late to run and the bull might be right. That's when you make the switch.
Put the LH on level 5 and catch that bull right between the eyes! Now, you gonna wanna to move off to the side real quick and give him plenty of room. 2000 lbs of blinded and meaner-n-a-pole-cat bull ain't just gonna stop and stand still.
Now, assuming you git away, don't that sound like fun?
At this point, if you didn't follow the warning about beer and alkyhol, you're gonna want to go to truck and pop a top. Go for it! You earned it!
Obviously, neither of this lights is well-suited by itsownself for cow-tippin'. Togather, though, they make a mighty fine pair!
One last warning – at the moment of truth, when the bull is a charging down on u and u're deciding whether to make a stand for true "real man" flashlite testing, or to run, you need to remember a couple of things. First, cows make sumptin called cow patties. Trust me, you'll know what they are when you encounter one - they smell, make a mighty bad mess of fancy lits, and they're slicker greased pigs. None of which are good things if you choose to run. Second, that bull don't car a bit 'bout yur fancy lits. Are you really shur yur up to risking a $200 lit to see if it can withstand the fury of 2000lbs? Coarse, it'd make a right nice story to tell yore visiters while yur in the hospital getting all doktured up from yur bull encounter, so go ahead!
Well, that's about all Hillbilly RayBob and cousin Bubba have to say bout lits and cow-tipping. Wall-chasing and a measurin' stuff is all well n good, we dos it too. We just think cow tippin' is a fur more exciting way to measure yore lits!
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