Things bad here for loved ones dying, now my turn

Got a call from my Dad tonight. The results of my Mom's xray revealed lung cancer. They will do more tests in a few days but it doesn't look good. The thing is, you don't wish for either of your parent's to die but this wasn't the plan. For years my Dad has suffered from emphysema, with very poor vision and is pretty much house/yard bound. My Mom on the other hand enjoyed comparatively good health, drove, did the grocery shopping etc. and even still cleans houses for a couple people. She is not real old yet, only 67. In other words she could get by without my Dad, I am not sure about the other way around.

Yes, both of them smoke heavily. Neither I nor any of my siblings do and I am grateful for that. But when something like this happens, you don't care how/why/the reason for, etc., you only feel bad because it has, completely forgive them for their sins and only know that you will miss them terrible when they are no longer here.

I don't know how I am going to react as things unfold in the upcoming days and weeks. I of course will hope and pray for a miracle and hope that perhaps readers of this post might do the same but truthfully I've never known anyone to beat lung cancer including three uncles and one aunt. I've never considered myself to be a couragous person in the very least but I will try to take comfort from Jeff's (flashlightboy) post. That has been perhaps the most courageous and eloquent posts I have ever read.

Sorry to hear of this terrible news Gary. At least you realize you are the one who must be courageous for them, for that I give you a big Bravo. Know that all things happen for a reason, and if she beats it that's great, and if she doesn't then there will be a much better place waiting for her - and all of us - one day.

You and yours will be in my thoughts Geep. Take care.

Re: Things bad here for loved ones dying, now my t

My prayers are with you and your family Gary.

I hate to hear that. I have also dealt with loved one passing.It is very normal to "have plans" they do not always work out how we think.I will pray for you and yours.
Be strong for your loved ones and take time to cry alone if need be both things are normal you will do just fine I have confidence in you. I know it is not easy I really do.
Topper

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My prayers are with you and your family.
My Uncle was 64.

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It's such a heart-breaking thing to be told and the consequences are simply unimaginable until you are faced with them. Having walked down that path, I can understand some of what you are going through right now. We'll all hope for the best.

Medical advances in the past few years are nothing short of phenomenal. I don't mean to hold out false hope, but in my father's case, the initial diagnosis and extent of damage was horrible. He lost a lung, but went on to outlive his expected survival by another 8 years (some of which I attribute to his basic oneryness).

Even on the darkest of days, do not abandon hope.

Tough situation. I will pray for your family and I wish yall the best.

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Nothing I can say will make the situation any better for you. Just know that you have a place to vent and talk when you need to and know that people here care about you and your family. Time heals (not quickly) but doesn't make one forget.

Best wishes and good luck with your Mom and Dad.
Rick

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I am sorry to hear the sad news.
My Prayers for you and your family
Ledean

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geepondy, you don't know how saddened I am at hearing that.
my mom was just diagnosed with non small cell lung ca in dec so I know what you're going through, I've been through all the tests. She's going in for chemo and radiation treatment next week. The tumor is too large for surgery and close to the heart, it spread over to the other side. I really wish they could remove it by surgery but they can't, it's too risky. Even the needle biopsy was in a hard place.
Know that my thoughts and prayers are with your mom and your family. If you need to ask anything about my experience, let me know.

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Prayers & positive thoughts to your Mother, family, and yourself. Try to be strong for her and your Dad as well. It's sooo hard to actually express feelings into words...just know that we are here "with you".

Geepondy,

I feel so much sadness for you and what your family is going through. It will be tough however if you ever want to rant, rave or simply blow off steam then we're here for you. Anytime.

By your telling us about how much your love and care for your mom and how you said it with forgiveness in your heart, shows that you are someone she can be proud of and can count on the upcoming days.

Undoubtedly, you are stronger than you think. Use that strength to encourage and support your mom. Courage will come from the strength that your mom brings out in you and will sent back to her with love, caring and kindness.

Take care my friend.

And I'm serious about the anytime offer.

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Geepondy,

It would seem winter has now come to visit your mother. With family and friends, share the simpler and important things at the hearth of your family. There will be seasons for all of us with storms and sunshine. Keep warm and share warmth with your mother and those near and dear. Seek comfort and solice in the fact that we know so little about life and death that our fears and concerns may have little significance or substance in a bigger picture that is not for us to see. When the mind fails, follow the heart. Though my words fail here, please know I mean well....

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Re: Things bad here for loved ones dying, now my t

My sympathies and thoughts are with you and yours in this time of crisis.

Sometimes we are called upon to step up to the plate to do the unimaginable or things that seem so far beyond our means. I pray that you will find that strength in the days to come, and you may discover just as I did that sometimes, just those rare sometimes, we can do so much more than we ever imagined that we could when the call comes through for real and everything hinges upon our actions.

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Thanks everybody for their kind words as I feel a little guilty about throwing my personal affairs out there and causing people to take time out of their lives to write a reply. Perhaps we'll get lucky. I was thinking last night and I do know two people that beat lung cancer, one of them like Mark's (luff) father lost a lung but she is still able to do everyday activities. The CAT scan will reveal more Monday. When I can get out of my wallowing in self-pity, I think that despite the fact that we want all our relatives around forever, a parent would much rather die before their children rather then the other way around. Thanks again.

Dear God, we lift up our friend and his family to you. We ask that you comfort them, protect them from suffering and fear, and help them to increase their faith in you. Please help them to not be afraid. Amen

geepondy, I send you my thoughts and prayers; I wish I could send you something more. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/frown.gif

Chuck

Re: Things bad here for loved ones dying, now my t

[ QUOTE ]
geepondy said:
Thanks everybody for their kind words as I feel a little guilty about throwing my personal affairs out there and causing people to take time out of their lives to write a reply.

[/ QUOTE ]

I think it is the least we can do! It is nice to know that people will take a minute out of their lives to send positive thoughts and prayers. Stay strong and courageous, the battle is not yet lost..... Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

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My father died last October... Sad, but, for him, a blessing. My Mom is getting better now--she had been taking care of him for the last 3-5 years (series of small strokes; Alzheimer's-like symptoms).

What did make it better for everyone was that we had already done the estate planning thing years ago.

Basically, get a "Living Trust" setup for your parents. And, if appropriate, some form of power of attorney (finiancial and health directive) with somebody your parents can TRUST. (the full power of attorney is very dangerous in the wrong hands)

Makes the times after much easier to deal with (no attornies, no courts, no probate, keeps everything private, better tax treatment for survivers, resolve the estate in less than a year, etc.).

A living trust should cost in the $1,000 to several thousand dollar range.

I know it is not anything that anyone really wants to talk about--but is really worth the time to do (and almost always is less expensive than probate and lawyer fees).

Best wishes,
-Bill

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Hello Gary,

You and your family will be in our thoughts and prayers.

Tom