I think that most everybody has seen the thermal flares that our aircraft drop to spoof off missiles.Here is my idea.Mount a device on the back of ambulances that dispenses dollar bills every 300 ft or so when the lights and siren are on.Might throw the lawyers off the scent! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif
Lawyer countermeasures
- Thread starter MrTwoTone
- Start date
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ACMarina
Flashlight Enthusiast
Bwahahahaha!!!
PhotonWrangler
Flashaholic
...must...resist...lawyer...jokes...
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/banned2.gif
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/banned2.gif
TRC
Newly Enlightened
- Joined
- Jan 19, 2005
- Messages
- 124
[ QUOTE ]
PhotonWrangler said:
...must...resist...lawyer...jokes...
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/banned2.gif
[/ QUOTE ]
NO! Go for it!
Lawyer jokes are among the best jokes around. Mostly because there is so much truth in them! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif
PhotonWrangler said:
...must...resist...lawyer...jokes...
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/banned2.gif
[/ QUOTE ]
NO! Go for it!
Lawyer jokes are among the best jokes around. Mostly because there is so much truth in them! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif
Guy walks into a bar and to no one in particular exclaims:
"Lawyers are all {bad word}!"
A guy at the end of the bar stands up and says:
"Hey bud! I resent that statment!"
"Why, are you a lawyer?"
"No, I am a {bad word}"
***********************
Q: Know what's worse than a bunch of blood sucking lawyers?
A: The society that brought them into business!
***********
The first one is funny if you can bridge the word substituion. The second one isn't funny. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/frown.gif
"Lawyers are all {bad word}!"
A guy at the end of the bar stands up and says:
"Hey bud! I resent that statment!"
"Why, are you a lawyer?"
"No, I am a {bad word}"
***********************
Q: Know what's worse than a bunch of blood sucking lawyers?
A: The society that brought them into business!
***********
The first one is funny if you can bridge the word substituion. The second one isn't funny. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/frown.gif
UncleFester
Flashaholic*,
Awrigt, so you come to the river and a lawer and an IRS agent are both drowning. You can only save one of them.... Should you go to a movie or read the newspaper?????
2dim
Enlightened
[ QUOTE ]
MrTwoTone said:
I think that most everybody has seen the thermal flares that our aircraft drop to spoof off missiles.Here is my idea.Mount a device on the back of ambulances that dispenses dollar bills every 300 ft or so when the lights and siren are on.Might throw the lawyers off the scent! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif
[/ QUOTE ]
Great idea, but must remember they're not stupid...better make those bills counterfeit twenties! Definition of "lawyer": politician in training...
MrTwoTone said:
I think that most everybody has seen the thermal flares that our aircraft drop to spoof off missiles.Here is my idea.Mount a device on the back of ambulances that dispenses dollar bills every 300 ft or so when the lights and siren are on.Might throw the lawyers off the scent! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif
[/ QUOTE ]
Great idea, but must remember they're not stupid...better make those bills counterfeit twenties! Definition of "lawyer": politician in training...
James S
Flashlight Enthusiast
Q: How many lawyers does it take to shingle a roof?
...
... (wait for it...)
---
A: Depends on how thin you slice them.
...
... (wait for it...)
---
A: Depends on how thin you slice them.
Hookd_On_Photons
Enlightened
- Joined
- Oct 28, 2004
- Messages
- 647
Everybody loves to complain about lawyers, until they need one.
Having said that, I thought this article was a good example of what's gone wrong with the profession these days.
http://www.tlpj.org/pr/53084_1.htm
"PROPOSED MASS MUTUAL NATIONAL CLASS ACTION SETTLEMENT WITHDRAWN AFTER TLPJ OBJECTS TO OUTRAGEOUS TERMS
Proposal Would Have Paid Class Members Zero, Two Class Reps $350,000, and Class Counsel $5 Million Cash, $3 Million in Insurance, and $250,000 Annually for Life"
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/thinking.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif
I signed up for a class action lawsuit a few years ago online. The URL was toothbrushlawsuit.com , but the website doesn't appear to be up any more. Too bad. Some fools were trying to sue Colgate-Palmolive, Proctor & Gamble, and every other major toothbrush manufacturer for negligently and maliciously failing to put a warning label on their tootbrushes stating that excessive brushing could possibly cause abrasion and erosion of tooth enamel. I was planning to wear some fake "hillbilly teeth" and testify: "I only brushed my teeth once a month and look at how terrible they are! Still, I consider myself lucky. What would have happened if I'd used those horrible toothbrushes more often? Please, don't let this tragedy happen to anybody else! *sob*"
Having said that, I thought this article was a good example of what's gone wrong with the profession these days.
http://www.tlpj.org/pr/53084_1.htm
"PROPOSED MASS MUTUAL NATIONAL CLASS ACTION SETTLEMENT WITHDRAWN AFTER TLPJ OBJECTS TO OUTRAGEOUS TERMS
Proposal Would Have Paid Class Members Zero, Two Class Reps $350,000, and Class Counsel $5 Million Cash, $3 Million in Insurance, and $250,000 Annually for Life"
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/thinking.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif
I signed up for a class action lawsuit a few years ago online. The URL was toothbrushlawsuit.com , but the website doesn't appear to be up any more. Too bad. Some fools were trying to sue Colgate-Palmolive, Proctor & Gamble, and every other major toothbrush manufacturer for negligently and maliciously failing to put a warning label on their tootbrushes stating that excessive brushing could possibly cause abrasion and erosion of tooth enamel. I was planning to wear some fake "hillbilly teeth" and testify: "I only brushed my teeth once a month and look at how terrible they are! Still, I consider myself lucky. What would have happened if I'd used those horrible toothbrushes more often? Please, don't let this tragedy happen to anybody else! *sob*"
unclearty
Enlightened
What do you call an attorney up to his neck in concrete?
..not enough concrete....
..not enough concrete....
I guess this one, instead of "Lawyer countermeasures", would have to be called "Lawyer Jokes Countermeasures".
Lest some begin taking the jokes too seriously, and thinking it representative of lawyers, consider this lawyer and the debt and respect owed him.
A true hero
His families' story
Lest some begin taking the jokes too seriously, and thinking it representative of lawyers, consider this lawyer and the debt and respect owed him.
A true hero
His families' story
LED-FX
Enlightened
lawyers, 99% give the rest a bad name.
powernoodle
Flashlight Enthusiast
I became a lawyer so I could afford more flashlights than the rest of you ladies. If anyone has a problem with that - bring it on!
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/happy14.gif
best regards
/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/happy14.gif
best regards
TRC
Newly Enlightened
- Joined
- Jan 19, 2005
- Messages
- 124
I'll be the first to admit that lawyers have helped me out in the past.
When I bought my house, the seller actually sold the house to another person at the same time. I would have lost the house, and $7000 cash, if not for the lawyer. BUT>>>>
I had to call the lawyer several times. Each time, for a 3 minute (or less) telephone call, the @sshole billed me for 15 minutes at $150/hr. And there were lots of other realy vauge fees (over $1000 worth) the lawyer couldn't justify, and I finally never did pay.
Yes, I was glad to have the lawyer save the house purchase, but he gouged me unmercifully in the process.
Unfortunately, this is the rule, and not the exception.
Oh yes: the OTHER guy, who didn't get the house, lost almost $10,000 on the deal. The cops, the county sherrifs, The county prosecutor, process servers, the IRS, various bill collectors, even a private detective, bothered me endlessly for over a year over the deal, looking for the crooked seller.
When I bought my house, the seller actually sold the house to another person at the same time. I would have lost the house, and $7000 cash, if not for the lawyer. BUT>>>>
I had to call the lawyer several times. Each time, for a 3 minute (or less) telephone call, the @sshole billed me for 15 minutes at $150/hr. And there were lots of other realy vauge fees (over $1000 worth) the lawyer couldn't justify, and I finally never did pay.
Yes, I was glad to have the lawyer save the house purchase, but he gouged me unmercifully in the process.
Unfortunately, this is the rule, and not the exception.
Oh yes: the OTHER guy, who didn't get the house, lost almost $10,000 on the deal. The cops, the county sherrifs, The county prosecutor, process servers, the IRS, various bill collectors, even a private detective, bothered me endlessly for over a year over the deal, looking for the crooked seller.
fuelblender
Enlightened
Q: Why do lawyers button their collars firmly and fasten their ties real tight?
A: PM me and I'll tell you
A: PM me and I'll tell you
PhotonWrangler
Flashaholic
What's black & brown and looks good on a lawyer?
A rottweiler
A rottweiler
fuelblender
Enlightened
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
A: A lawyer can remove his wing tips.
A: A lawyer can remove his wing tips.
gadget_lover
Flashaholic
The only times I've needed a lawyer was because someone else brought a lawyer into the process. It's never added any justice or perspective. It has always cost a lot of money, sometimes money I had to borrow.
Why don't you ever hear about shark attacks against lawyers?
Professional courtesy!
Daniel
Why don't you ever hear about shark attacks against lawyers?
Professional courtesy!
Daniel
