How to deal with younger girls your age

Well, I am 27 as I type this and almost all my life I have little to no success with young girls my age or younger, which with women older enough to be my mom or grandma, no problem at all.

THe only exception to this is in rehab centers. There you have to be careful and carry a few sticks to beat them off of you.

It seems when I meet a young girl the conversation is rather short and quick, then she has to go somewhere suddenly. Rather its the fed ex lady who took a class with me, someone from my bus law class or a young girl from anotehr department where we work. THe older women we can talk about anything and everything at great lengths.

Sometimes they bring up quickly in the conversation that they are married or have a boy friend. Sure the older women get to it sooner or later, but the conversation keeps on, while the younger girls drop it. Sometimes the younger girls start to wear more and more revealing cloths and wanting less and less conversation like in the hallway before a class starts several days in a row. Then suddenly they no longer wait in the hall but run in as class starts. Almost makes me feel they are going out of their way.

Similar behavior occured in highschool, but I am not counting that, that was one experience i never want to relive.

So? Any advice? Seems strange a bus law student, public speaking student wouldnt want to go over their homework before class starts. OR a co worker wouldnt want to talk about a new policy or last nights sponge bob square pants.

Am I doing something wrong here?

Cobb,

It struck me that you're only 27. I had an image of you that was much older and mature because you write in the style of a more mature person. Could it be that you're projecting some of this in person and thus turning someone away who's looking for someone with a more impetuous style?

Just a thought...

I should be more irresponsible, lazy, ambitionless, sloppy, etc, etc, etc? Ive often wondered if I pretended my head was full of air if it would help me, but I hate to stoop to that level. Arent there any smart women out there my age or younger?

I guess the wheelchair thing could be something too? I hope to get to walk some later this month and see how that works.

My last trip to the mall I was only able to get the strange looking women at kb toys to talk or interested in anything. She was one of those girls with purple hair, black finger nails, ear rings in her eyes and nose, lip. She seemed rather pleasant and honest despite her looks. I wouldnt mind getting the interest of those girls who walk in groups of three with the shorts that show part of their cheeks and they have the college logo on them or the word tasty or juicy, but I guess we can still dream?

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cobb said:
My last trip to the mall I was only able to get the strange looking women at kb toys to talk or interested in anything. She was one of those girls with purple hair, black finger nails, ear rings in her eyes and nose, lip. She seemed rather pleasant and honest despite her looks.

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When I see that kind of person, I am able to classify them as "goths". Well, thats what my friends call them and everyone else. But around here most of them have a few red bangs. More blue ones than purple ones actually. Always dark clothing (shirts, pants, etc). But since I mostly see people my age, (7th graders) ring piercings arent too common.

Some of the goths creep me out a little bit. I suppose that's the reaction they're looking for. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif

Darn. I'm 72 years old and ask the same question ... /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/crazy.gif

There's a greast line from an old song that goes,

"Little boy sat down and cried.
Old man passing asked him why.
'I can't do what the big boys do.'
Old man sat down and he cried, too."

"Give it time and relax" sounds pretty trite, but that's what usually works.

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cobb said:
I wouldnt mind getting the interest of those girls who walk in groups of three with the shorts that show part of their cheeks and they have the college logo on them or the word tasty or juicy, but I guess we can still dream?

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So true! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/yellowlaugh.gif

Yea, I think its just that your too mature for your age, at least compared to the rest of your age group.

I dont get along with the majority of my generation. They are just not like me. I am responcible, mature and way more caring than most people my age. I would much rather hang out with older folks myself. My generation is just too spontaneous for me. I have honestly been trying to work on that recently, making myself get out and have more fun. Its actually working somewhat too. We'll see how well it goes in the future. But yea, your not alone.

Cameron

Start smoking cigarettes. That's a good way to meet chicks. You give them cigarettes and they talk to you. (I have observed this). Buying women drinks helps, too.

In our media saturated society it's hard to keep from comparing ourselves to the endless stream of images that our culture keeps telling us is normal. There's a lot of money in that. Don't let them cloud your judgement. Be true to yourself. Try to be happy.

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greenlight said:
Start smoking cigarettes. That's a good way to meet chicks. You give them cigarettes and they talk to you. (I have observed this). Buying women drinks helps, too.

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Cobb already smokes. There was a heated thread about it a few months ago. No. I'm not gonna look it up. I'm too lazy.

Maybe you are looking at it the wrong way. There's nothing wrong with women who are older, especially if the age difference is close enough to allow lots of common interests and large enough to allow you to each share new ideas and experiences. It sounds like the older people may be more understanding and more willing to know you as a person.

Daniel

I have to agree to bobisculous, I also don't get along with a lot of peopl....kids in my generation. Especially the kids in my school. I usually end up talking to the teachers, they are so much nicer then the kids at the school, they don't get board when I am talking to them. Now its not that I say boaring things it is that any thing related to science or history they don't won't to talk about it. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif

Cobb,
Why do you refer to Ladies your age (27) as "younger girls".
The answer may lie right there.

If 'You" feel they are less mature than you they will more than likely pick up on it.

I am not saying that you are doing something wrong rather suggesting that maybe you prefer a more seasoned Lady. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif

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cobb said:
I wouldnt mind getting the interest of those girls who walk in groups of three with the shorts that show part of their cheeks and they have the college logo on them or the word tasty or juicy, but I guess we can still dream?

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It sounds to me like you have one thing on your mind (don't we all?) and your "targets" are picking up on that. Maybe they don't want to feel like targets. That's why they mention the boyfriend so quickly.

It is hard to meet women cold. They always have their defenses up. You need a backdoor strategy. Get to know them in a non-threatening environment and they will see you as the person you are rather than just the next guy who is going to try to hit on them. Getting to know women within groups of friends or as a member of a club, etc. is a lot more effective.

And yes, some people will not look past the wheel chair, but the ones who do are the ones you want to focus on anyway. So let the shallow ones weed themselves out for you.

Remember, the problem you are having is common to all guys whether we admit it or not. Well, maybe not Brad Pitt or Prince William, but 99.9% of guys feel the same way.

Good luck.

Never try to talk to gals, just listen up whatever she says or making noise... And just smile on her, never show your thooth, NEVER. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

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Lurker said:
And yes, some people will not look past the wheel chair, but the ones who do are the ones you want to focus on anyway. So let the shallow ones weed themselves out for you.


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That might be part of the problem but I think two things are working against you (i.e. cobb) more. You mentioned that you smoke and that you weigh around 300 pounds. Smoking turns a lot of young people of both sexes off these days. As for being overweight, there is a significant number of men who actually like fat women but the reverse simply doesn't seem to be true, especially for younger people. Sure, this may be superficial but the fact is that being severely overweight repulses the majority of young girls, even those who are overweight themselves. I realize that in a wheelchair with limited ability to exercise it may be close to impossible to lose the weight, but it might be a good idea to try. It might also be a good idea to quit smoking. Even if you don't pick up any more girls, both will be much healthier for you in the long run which is why I advocate doing them.

Other than those few things just be yourself. Better to have someone like you for who you are than to be someone you're not.

If all else fails learn to be happy with yourself. I haven't had a significant other for about 22 years and I honestly don't even care any more. Truthfully, I decided to not bother after my last relationship because nobody I met really compared favorably to her. Better to have nobody than to settle. BTW, oddly enough when I do go out I seem to attract mostly the late teens/early 20s crowd even though I'm 42. I think a lot of it has to do with how you dress and carry yourself. I still dress pretty much like I did in college, I'm in good shape so I always walk pretty fast, and a lot of people tell me I look like I'm barely 25. You might have to let the beard go if you want to attract the younger crowd. Whenever young girls see a beard, they tend to think "older person".

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UncleFester said:
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greenlight said:
Start smoking cigarettes. That's a good way to meet chicks. You give them cigarettes and they talk to you. (I have observed this). Buying women drinks helps, too.

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Cobb already smokes. There was a heated thread about it a few months ago. No. I'm not gonna look it up. I'm too lazy.

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Maybe that's the problem.

PhotonWrangler, I think you hit the nail on the head for at least me. I have the same problem as cobb, but I'm 23. My friend who is 28 is exactly like me. I don't know where the girls that are more mature like us are. I see girls way older than me that act like they are 13 or 14. When I was 15 I acted like most guys do when they are 21. I'm not boring or anything though, I'm just not into the bubble gum flirty ditsy stuff, and I'm not gonna act fake and cocky...

At times I wish I was at a lower maturity/intelligence becasue at least those people fit in and have fun!

Greenlight: I don't smoke but it might be a good idea to carry a pack just incase a girl asks me for one. Even though I don't really want a girl who smokes, they all do and I can't be picky! Buying women drinks can work against you though. Sometimes they will take it and walk away and go for the next guy to buy them. But that seems pretty easy to pick out. Others are pros and even have boyfriends and tell their girls to dress skimpy to get free drinks. Man, my town is really messed up... heh.

I don't know what the deal is but it's harder and harder for me to attract females now even though I look 10x better than I ever have. Perhaps its because there are so few girls in this town and I'm not in school to meet them, so it's totally random and odds are very high... I think I want to move as every other town has been a lot nicer and the ratio a lot better. Bigger/smaller towns doesn't matter, they all seem to be better than where I live. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/frown.gif

Change, that can do you good though. Perhaps just a different enviroment/lifestyle change can help you have a fresh outlook and carry yourself differently... I know last fall when this girl was interested in me I was happy and everywhere I went girls would come up and talk to me and tell me I had pretty eyes/etc. They pick up on happyness I guess, but it's hard to show that if you don't feel it. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/frown.gif

That is kind of ironic because when you have a girl, you attract tons of other girls. But when you don't have anyone, and really could use some attention, you get none!!! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif