Small town vs Big City

Not pointing out any specific place in the world, but do you find that people in smaller towns and suburbs tend to be more friendly, open and honest than those in big cities?

From what I've seen, as the population density goes up, people get more short tempered, more competitive, more "don't waste my time", and such. It kinda makes me wonder, based on my correlated observations over quite a long while. Is this a known effect?

There is always anonymity in crowded environments. Our encounters with strangers are fleeting (you know, while we're in the 'hurry up and wait' mode). It makes a perfect breeding ground for intolerance and all sorts of antisocial behaviour. We are a whole lot of people competing with each other daily for personal space or a place in line. We tend to be ignorant at times, because it is easier and takes less time than it does to be polite.

The stresses (and the myriad of annoyances) of living in a metropolis.

This is not a slam on people living in big cities, I live in a large city myself. I am still adjusting to moving back to a metropolis (can't you tell? /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif ).

Yes! I was born and raised in Detroit, now I live in a small village of about 100 people.
You replace the fast paced enviroment and replace it with small town talk. You know your plumber isn't going to put the screws to you because in ten minutes you'll see him at the store or post office, but in trade you have to listen to the gossip that makes small towns function.
I made my choice, I chose the small town, it is a great place to run a business, and more importantly to raise children.

The anonymity in a big city is a plus as far as I'm concerned. Not sure I'd want to live in a small town where all your neighbors know your business. I don't even know half the names of the people who live on my block, let alone any of their business.

Exactly jtr1962. It's a dual edged sword. Mean people in the city don't have the time to stick on you like glue the way busy bodies in the country might. You need to conform to the norm in either environment. You can have both the village and the city as far as I'm concerned. Give me the wilderness any day! Of course this anti social attitude doesn't go over well for child rearing, but for me I'd rather have trouble with bears and cougars than encounter the worst trouble makers of all.

I don't Have a "block" my next door neighbour is out of range of my thor. It is the farmhouse where Wayne Gretzky was from, his father comes by almost daily and occasionally gives my kids candy, autographed cards, hockey sticks and other stuff. I would probally have a harder time letting someone in a car hand my kid something if I were in the city.
Neighbours form opinions of your business, you don't have a choice over that. I choose what I let them see, in the rare event I do see one.
My Partner lives in a mid size city, not so big that you ignore your neighbours, but not so small that you have to speak to them each time they pass. Just the right size that you wave to the cars you recognize. His business exploded and he outgrew his midclass neighbourhood, suddenly after the Hummer made it to the driveway the rest of the people stopped waving and whispers of drug trafficing could be heard. People talk, it's inevidable, I just like to be in control of the conversation.. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif

It sure seems like there is a difference in people. I think this is because there is a different measure of life applied to those living in the big city and those in small towns.

I was born and raised in the S.F./Bay Area and now call a small valley north of Yellowstone home. It seems there is a fundamental difference between the two. People in the city tend to measure their lives by how different they are from eachother. The city is all about diversity--different cultures, occupations, incomes, etc.... If you ask a city person to describe themselves, I think they tend seperate themselves from the masses, defining their identity by how they are unique.

Small town folk it seems tend to measure themselves by how similar they are to eachother. At least where I live, there is little diversity. Most everyone is from a similar cultural background. There is much less disparity between the rich and the poor. It seems like it doesn't really matter what one does, all the jobs pay about the same. People even have and do similar things because we all shop at the same store and go to the same movie theater 30 miles away. I find that people in the small town seek to emphasize their similarities, to find acceptance within the group, to become a local.

I think that people who live in small towns are percieved as being more friendly and open because people who are more similar to eachother have less conflicts naturally. There is also less competition for resourses. The emphasis in the country is less about what one has or does and more about the size of the fish one caught or the quality of the gossip one knows.

So, are people in the country more friendly? I don't think so, it just seems that way because of how we judge or measure eachother. In a sense comparing a city person with a country person is like comparing apples and oranges. Is the country a better place to live? I think so, that's why I'm here, but it's definately not for everyone.

Greg

Quite the thoughtful posts, here. I'd agree that each environment has its good and bad sides and that they're probably equal, over all, but it depends upon one's preferences as to which is more tolerable or "better".

I was either born in the right place or adapted to my area. I need quick access to unpopulated, natural, "wilderness", and like that I can walk, safely bike, or quickly shop close to home - no hours long fights with traffic getting to the store. The downside is fewer employment opportunities and I must drive two hours, daily, for work...fortunately it's a nice, rural, lakeshore, commute.

[ QUOTE ]
KevinL said:
From what I've seen, as the population density goes up, people get more short tempered, more competitive, more "don't waste my time", and such.

[/ QUOTE ]
People are far more likely to act that way if they feel anonymous (like they would in a large city). You typically don't see people acting that way in a small town because they are more accountable for their actions. The people they would be offending would be their business associates, friends, church members, etc.

I think that growing anonymity and a general loss of accountability in our culture over the past few generations has accounted for a lot of social de-evolution.

However, there are exceptions to the city/town rule, such as small close-knit (often ethnic) neighborhoods within large cities. Those can be similar to small towns in a lot of ways.

We moved to the northern edge of the whopping metropolis of Shepherd, TX.

The thing about around here? Everyone knows/and/or is related to everyone else!

Therefore we must be careful what we say to whom!

It is quite interesting though. I was in the local grocery store one evening. A cashier was counting her drawer. We all left her to it. The she said to someone "I'm open over here". He said " Isaw you were busy and don't want to bother you".

Can you imagine???

We LIKE it up here!

[ QUOTE ]
KevinL said:
Not pointing out any specific place in the world, but do you find that people in smaller towns and suburbs tend to be more friendly, open and honest than those in big cities?

From what I've seen, as the population density goes up, people get more short tempered, more competitive, more "don't waste my time", and such. It kinda makes me wonder, based on my correlated observations over quite a long while. Is this a known effect?


[/ QUOTE ]

I will put up My experiance between a Small City & Big City (in our Area)
Comparing 2 cities where I Shuttle almost every month
1) Big City: Bombay(Mumbai), State's Capital
2) Small City: Nagpur(Orange City), State's Second Capital, my hometown.

In Big City, People are Less concerned about What Other's are doing. They mind their own business and do things as if nothing has happened. Like if some one is Kissing on Marine Drive or Worli Seaface ... nothing has actually "happened"

In A Small City, "kissing" will be the talk of town... and may even attract a few local news papers & "political" groups!



In Big City, I Find People MORE Helpful, To the Point & Supportive. One of the Experiment to do is.... Just Ask them Driving Directions to a particular Location. They will give Right Pointers....

In Small City, Do the same experiment.... they Stare at you and say ... "I Dont Know"!



In Big City, If Some one is falling off the train while trying to catch up the running train... they Pull him up, Help him & Give him a Hand.... If they feel that the Guy cannot make it, they tell him, dont do it, its dangerous for you and tell him to catch the next train (which usually arrives in 3 minutes)

In Small City, They just watch... Come in the Way (so as the guy will fall)!! and Laugh when he falls... Forget the Helping Hand ...



I think, It Depends on Where you live. Bombay(Mumbai) is Often Compared with NY when it comes to Population & Business Activities. (both are Commercial Capitals of respective Countries). Any NewYorker's Around? share their Experiance...

Yes Its true, In Big Cities, Time is Important, Most Important Factor, things are counted in Seconds ... instead of in "Hours" when it comes to Small Cities.

People in Big Cities are Puncutal and Very Particular about being on time and many times they reach before time to save on time!. In small Cities If they say.... I will be there at 7 PM ... expect them to be there by 8:30 PM ! and the reason for being late "Oh, Damn, The Traffic has increased so much!!! these days" ... if by chance if a individual gets in late in a Big City... Traffic is never the reason... Rather what I hear is "I am sorry, I am late, I didnt Leave for the destination Early Enough" !!! see.. seee that's the difference!

So Strange... and Yet Completely Opposite of what you had said Kevin... I prefer being in Big City as compared with a "Small City" for the above mentioned factors.

Like I said, I'll take bears and mountain lions any day.

VIReN you are correct "I think, It Depends on Where you live". WOW! But at the same time there do see to be some similarities with your examples to the US as well.

I moved from from a suburb of Los Angeles to a small town in extreme Northern Calif., (population of 2,000), near the Oregon border almost 13 years ago. I actually don't live in the town but in the mountains above it which I like. I went from having neighbors about 10 feet away on each side of me to none.

As most of you guys have aptly stated, there's good and bad. I miss the anonymity of the big city and am one of the few here that DOESN'T like walking into a store or post office and everybody knows me. You really have to work at keeping your own business your own in a small town.

I would also say that the ratio of good/bad folks is about the same in a small town as opposed to a big city only on a much smaller scale. There's a lot of great folks here but there's also some really strange characters that take refuge in small towns. Hell, maybe I'm one of them! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif

All in all though I wouldn't live in another big city if you paid me. The "look at my watch, clothes, car, and ain't I cool?" attitude I never want to be around again and I also haven't heard a traffic report in over 12 years! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif

Hey Bogus,
I LOVE my bear and mountain lion neighbors too! Best neighbors I ever had.

I for the most part like living in Boston's northern suburbs. Pretty close to the country but also pretty close to shopping. When I go visit my parents in a Vermont town of only a few hundred it is more noisy then where I live now. Constant barking dogs from one neighbor and near constantly practicing rock band from another. Plus there are no zoning laws so one house has five or six junk cars parked in front. But the worst thing is only 28.8k dialup!

I grew up in a small town on one coast, moved to Big City on another coast and now considering gowing back. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/confused.gif

Very interesting replies and some very good points that I never thought of, such as 'word travels fast'. Today we have technologies such as wave division multiplexing, Gigabit Ethernet, packet over SONET, ATM, and the speed of Office Gossip outstrips them ALL.. even when they're combined /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Good point about the jobs, I did notice that small towns have a lack of tech sector jobs (to my disadvantage unfortunately). I'm in a big city right now - 3 million +++..

When I was 13, I moved to a small township in southern Ohio. It was so small that there were only 30 of us in the 8th grade.

I was asked to address the class. I praised the locals, and specifically said that the people in Ohio were nicer than the ones in Illinois. The Illinois school was 600 or so students and pretty tough.

I got beat up 30 minutes later at recess.


There are small towns and there are very small towns and then there is rural. My ideal house would be 30 minutes by car from the nearest population center, 20 minutes to the store. I'm not anti-social, I just like the open countryside.

Daniel